Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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I am going to read that article soon a I finish this reply! Thank you!
Oh...yes. The little breaks. I had not had a cigarette with anyone for quite a few years before I quit as nobody I knew smoked. Like you, it was a good way to take a break from things and certain people at times. Now I walk and have no qualms about getting up no matter what time and saying to my partner “I’m going for a walk”. Would be a bit hard to do in a social situation though, and since the Pandemic, I’ve not had to deal with that. Maybe we can put our heads together and come up with a good diplomatic line to use? I say that half joking, but I did get a little pang reading your note and realizing I will have to face those situations again myself, maybe soon.
Love it...”a drop for birdy and a swig for me” Back in the old days, whiskey was about all they had for a pain killer before certain procedures, so, it maybe did at least make them more comfortable...?
Glad you’ve had a mellow and calm evening. My daughter has a good deal of anxiety. We went through quite a bit when she was 13, 14, 15. She did a program that involved DBT therapy. Twice. Things are better now and going well. This doesn’t sound quite the depth of the struggles you are facing, but I do know how it hurts to not be able to just fix things. It is hard to reconcile being a Mother and feeling so helpless at the same time. You are doing a fantastic, wonderful job not smoking through it. It must give some sense of empowerment for you to help yourself in that way. I hope so as it certainly should.
My walk was lovely. Was the only two hours I was dressed all day. Yay!
Have a wonderful Friday Suzy!
Happy Birthday Katie! A bit belated now, but well wishes coming over the pond to you still!
Please, no blushes necessary on the other stuff! I love reading the stories about you and your daughter. They make me smile! It’s nice to be on this end of parenting with my daughter coming into adulthood, but we all have such wonderful memories of them being your daughter’s age and hearing the sweet stories is really lovely. All the things you worry about are all normal worries. It shows you are a good Mum to be thinking and worrying about those things! I think you will find it is just as enjoyable in the teen years and that those years bring just as much delight as the ones you are in now.
Thanks for the bday wishes - it was a very relaxing day.
Good for you taking a day in bed. I remember doing that a lot in the first few months of quitting and being so tired and sleepy sitting at my desk at work. I think it’s a combo of reducing nicotine, which is a stimulant, plus the constant mental battle with the junkie thinking. And you’ve had the extra strain of worrying about your son. Don’t beat yourself up for days in bed, even sunny days! It’s so important to give yourself the rest you need to keep your quit strong.
I love taking naps, it’s been one of my favourite past times in lockdown. I’ve got a memory foam pillow and it’s one of my favourite possessions! I’ve also been listening to lots of gentle radio comedy on bbc sounds, very soothing.
I’m glad to hear you felt on a more even keel with your son in your last chat. It’s a long old winding road to better mental health but it sounds like your son is on that path - and with you to cheer him on he will get there (wherever ‘there’ is).
Speaking of keels - yes it will be great to be on your boat and not smoking and having to deal with #### butts! I used to have a jam jar by my back door - emptying out used to make me feel sick! That sour soggy smell ugh.
How’s the nrt going? Are you finding it helpful?
Hope you’ve had a good day.
4th March 2017
Thanks for the warm wishes and for sharing that amazing photo! Love how the sun is shining down through the clouds, and the water looks so inviting. But perhaps it has crocodiles argh?!
It’s really nice catching up with people on here, seeing everyone progressing in their quit. I really don’t think I would have made it past a few months without the reassurance from long timers on here. Yes that WILL be you Anthony - this time next year! Just keep noping every day.
Not long til your op now is it. How are you feeling about it?
quit 4th March 2017
Thanks for the bday wishes and kind words about motherhood. I often fall into the trap of thinking all the other parents I see have everything worked out, so it’s really nice and reassuring to be reminded these are normal worries and things will work out.
It is lovely seeing my daughter developing every day. Today she was busily walking about our flat with her mini dustpan and brush exclaiming ‘what a mess!’ (You can probably guess who made the mess).
Thanks again and congratulations on being a non-smoker :)
Quit 4th March 2017
If you think of a good diplomatic line to use, please let me know! I do seem to be a bit more blunt since I quit smoking, for some reason . Mike was helping cook dinner tonight, and instead of saying 'thank you, darling, for cutting those vegetables so beautifully', what I actually said was "NO!!! Not like that!!"
I'm glad your daughter is doing better these days, and it sounds as if DBT helped? It is really hard not to be able to fix things, but I do know that it's pointless worrying about things you can't change. Doesn't stop me trying, but I'm working on it.
Thanks for the praise - I am very happy to believe that I'm doing a fantastic and wonderful job not smoking, but I do feel like a bit of a fraud there - I am having some cravings, really strong ones sometimes too, but the weird (and wonderful) thing is that I don't actually want to smoke. Well, sometimes I want to smoke, but I don't want to be a smoker. I don't really understand why - I think it might be this forum - but whatever it is I'm not complaining. And it IS making me feel a bit more resilient, like I might be strong enough to cope with whatever happens.
Wow, you were dressed for two whole hours? I would take my hat off to you if I'd been wearing one, but I spent the entire day yesterday in a dressing gown.
Thanks Lore, and hope you have a wonderful Friday too.
No crocodiles here Katy, too cold for them, but we do get the odd shark in the river so the story goes, I have never seen one.
Thanks Katy for the vote of confidence, Yes that's all it takes NOPE.
The Op is next Thursday, Monday I have to go in to the surgery for a skin check, I have no cuts or abrasions, so should be right there, I am hoping all goes well, I am not particularly worried, I am in the hands of a good surgeon in the best hospital.
I have just been to a friends place who checked out my car, it is misfiring, so he seems to think it's an injector that's the problem, So have to take the car in after Easter to get it checked it out by my mechanic, More $.
It's the weekend here very quiet, I am learning how to play Apache on the guitar by The Shadows, My teacher likes The Shadows...
Anyway I am rambling on,
Take care Katy
I did worry about it - that big bad Protestant work ethic - but I really loved it too. I read books, fiddled on my phone, drank lukewarm tea and snoozed. I haven't done that for years, and it really was exactly what I needed. If I'd still been a smoker I definitely would have got up to have one, and I don't think it would even have occurred to me to have a rest day: another sign that smoking stops us doing what's good for us? I hope I don't feel like that too often (got bills to pay and all) but I really did slob out like a good'un. It wasn't quite perfect slobberdom - for that I would obviously have needed crisps and ice cream - but it wasn't far off, and thank you for being so understanding!! I do now have memory foam pillow envy though...
Thanks too for the kind words about my son. I don't know where 'there' might be either, but i am definitely cheering him on. He had another better day today, and I'm starting to think that there are some parallels with the quit-journey: celebrate the good days, and try not to be too derailed by the times when it's just a slog and a struggle.
Can you recommend particular gentle radio comedy? I really like comedy, but one thing I've also noticed since quitting is that I feel slightly stressed by anything loud or fast. Mike loves electronic dance music - we are both old ravers, really - but he's being really sweet and listening to it on headphones at the moment. Although that might be because he's frightened of the new, straight-talking, take-no-prisoners harridan that I seem to have become . I do remember irritability and impatience from previous quits, but I don't like it and hope I feel less like a loose cannon soon.
It might also be because I ran out of lozenges and decided not to buy any more. I still have some gum, but I don't like it as much and my nicotine intake has probably halved over the last couple of days. I think it's a good thing, and I know this might sound really contradictory but I feel calmer at the same time as more irritable. I think I have a day's worth of gum left, and then I will put patches on and see how I go.
I didn't get much done today, apart from writing the name of our boat onto the horseshoe buoy. It looks good, and I'm feeling all right too. So, not a bad day.
I hope you're all right, Katie. I'm with Lore in that it's so lovely to hear about you and your daughter, that all the things you worry about are normal worries, and the fact that you're even thinking about them shows what a lovely mum you are! I too fall into the trap of thinking that everyone else has things sussed, but it really is an illusion (just look at the governments around the world - these people are in charge? Really?) We're all just stumbling through as best we can, and if we can do that kindly, I think we're doing pretty well.
Talk soon I hope, and thank you again for being there.
It looks like you're up early, and I'm up late. It's odd to think that we are on opposite sides of the world, and yet connected by this forum and by our efforts to break free of this addiction. Good morning to you, and I hope you have a lovely smoke-free day, with no sharks or crocodiles anywhere!
I'm off to bed now, but I just wanted to add to the vote of confidence. You're doing this, Anthony, and it's wonderful. And there's nothing wrong with The Shadows! I'm also learning guitar - another connection - but I think Apache is way beyond me at the moment; I can only play three chords.
Thank you Katie!
Being a non smoker is wonderful! You are so kind and supportive of folks here, and such an inspiration. I had a small cream carton on my deck I would put butts in. It was awful. It was one of the cardboard types that coffee cream comes in and when it was full I’d throw it away. Always saved the next one once I used up the cream so I could use it for butts. Ugh!! I never wanted an ashtray proper as I was constantly telling myself I’d “quit soon” anyway. Of course, this went on for years. Be so happy for yourself that you stopped before your daughter came along. It is so nice she will not associate that smell with you! So many memories and fondness are associated with smell.
Yes, it is quite easy to view other parents who appear to be doing it all perfectly and be critical of ourselves and find fault and things to worry about. That’s normal too! But with all things with people and relationships, we never know what goes on behind closed doors. No parent is perfect. That is so much the beauty of it really! Learning and growing as they learn and grow. I am absolutely certain you are doing just fine.
Do you have family close? Like Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins? That can be such a blessing, and such a stress too. I do recall you mentioned a sister. My daughter grew up so far from my family. They are all in the Midwest a couple thousand miles away, so she only saw them yearly. I didn’t really have anyone to help me with her except for a friend who never had children. Once she started school there was more support there with other parents.
I love you spend time in nature with her too and it sounds as though she likes animals. She is 3? Oh, and yes!! I don’t recall what you called it, but it sounds like what we call Pre-School here...absolutely! Do not feel guilty one ounce for that. It is very good for both of you! This is not the same world our folks grew up in where they stayed in small circles of people most of their lives. It is so important for her to socialize and spread her wings and share her joys with others. I say this, and of course I had the same guilt. But...it is ok.
Have a wonderful weekend! Thank you again for being here for all of us!