Unindicted Co-Conspirator 1

"We’ve got lots of theories, we just don’t have the evidence."

I almost feel bad for the guy and how far he has fallen since he was America's Mayor.

We remember the running hair dye

the farting while on an open mic

the embarrassing Borat 2 episode back when he was Trump's attorney where he is seen reaching into his trousers and adjusting his junk, getting ready for some action.

In the latest episode a Mrs Dunphy is suing him since she didn't receive enough money for various services. There are tapes. Why they had to release them I don't know.

MR. G: These breasts belong to me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I don't care if they're flirting or they give you business cards. These are mine, you got it?

MS. D: Yes.

MR. G: Understand? I'm very possessive. I've gone easy on you.

MS. D: I don't know.

MR. G: I've been easy on you.

MS. D: You're pretty tough on me.

MR. G: I've been easy on you. Give them to me.

The tapes are not all sexy talk:

Passover. "They want to go through that freaking Passover all the time. Get over the Passover. It was like 3,000 years ago. Okay, the Red Sea parted. Big deal. Not the first time that happened."

Back to sexy talk:

"The way natural selection works, Jewish men have small cocks because they can't use them after they get married. Whereas the Italian men use them all their lives so they get bigger,"

Oy vey

Not clear how Matt Damon fits in here. By all accounts he's 5'10 and hetero. "Matt Damon is a faggot. Matt Damon is also 5’2, eyes are blue. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo." ?

Neither Damon nor Giuliani have responded to requests for comments.