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Idiots   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Jul-18 by WALTER784; 447 views.
WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jul-18

Idiots

The World Is Populated By Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

4. The Chico, California City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking", stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

FWIW

 

WALTER784 said:

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

I can picture the kind of lawsuit that would erupt from that in the US. But then I'd think that, while requirements for competence are not as stringent as, say, landing a Gulfstream III under meteorological instrument conditions with a 40 knot crosswind at an airfield in mountainous terrain, one should at least clearly know the difference between a copier and a shredder and probably have them in totally different facilities.

But then I'd likely have been making running copies of a priceless manuscript as it was being written, much for the same reason as I make incremental backups that go off-site when working on something that can't be replaced.

A bonus of off-site backups is, more than once i've made a sufficiently complex error that it was more productive to actually restore a prior backup to un-do everything back to the end of the previous day.

Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Jul-18

The sad thing is these true stories are both funnier and scarier than any jokes.

WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jul-18

$1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S) said...

one should at least clearly know the difference between a copier and a shredder and probably have them in totally different facilities.

Actually, you'd be surprised... my company's headquarters building has the shredder sitting about 15' from the printer.

And a company I was once outsourced to had the shredder sitting right next to the printer/fax/copier machine.

But they're entirely different devices and nobody should be able to confuse them.

Do any of these look like a printer/copier/fax machine?

https://www.amazon.com/hredders/b?ie=UTF8&node=172591

FWIW

 

WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jul-18

Showtalk said...

The sad thing is these true stories are both funnier and scarier than any jokes.

For quite q few of them... yes!

FWIW

Nope. It doesn't look like a copier or fax or printer.

But then, there are people loose in the world who know about as much about office machines as a 17th century peasant farmer.

Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Jul-19

No, copiers have glass on top and lids. Shredders look like wastebaskets with tops.

WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jul-20

Yep... printers/copiers have room to store blank paper to print on/copy to underneath where as shredders only have a slit on top to place the paper to be shredded in and a large garbage bag below it to catch the shredded paper.

Only a real true idiot would confuse the two!

FWIW

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