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Irritations in Life   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Jul-20 by WALTER784; 98 views.

From: WALTER784


Irritations in Life

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where in the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a$$ to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Friggin'-A right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why in the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No stupid, I paid $8 to come to the cinema and stare at the friggin floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved"! Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it and thus it can't be improved. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it so it's not new.

8. When people say "life is short." What in the hell does that mean?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever friggin does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. You see somebody at the mall look at their watch and you don't have one. So, you walk up to them as their arm is dropping back to their side. "Pardon me, can you tell me what time it is?" And they have to look at their watch again!

11. People who creep up on you during the entire red light. When it turns green they are the last to start moving!

12. People who tailgate you on the freeway, then cut you off so they can get off at the same exit as you - and stop at the same red light at the top/bottom of the ramp!

13. People with 30 items in a 15 item lane at the grocery store. (BTW - never point that out to ANYBODY during the holiday season)

14. Having the doctor and/or nurse walk into the examination room and ask you how you are doing! If I was doing ok I certainly wouldn't have waited for the past 30 minutes!

15. Having somebody run past you only to slow down right in front of you and you have to pass them when they start running again past you and then slow down again... repetitively.