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Personal Responsibility... NOT   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Jul-27 by WALTER784; 154 views.

From: WALTER784


Personal Responsibility... NOT

Let's see if I understand the state of personal responsibility in the America of the 1990s.

If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.

If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll musician he liked.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain, you blame the school for poor sex education.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

And, if your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

God bless America, land of the free, home of the blame.

My Personal Additions ~

If your cat explodes in the microwave, you blame the manufacturer for not including a warning: "Do not dry animals in this device!"

If your lizard explodes in the microwave, you blame the manufacturer for not including a warning: "Do not dry reptiles in this device!" even though it clearly states "Do not dry animals in this device!" because a lizard is a reptile and not an animal.

If you loose your job for coming in late every morning (after stumbling home late every night drunk making all kinds of noise waking up the whole neighborhood), you blame it on the noisy dog next door.




From: Showtalk


The sad thing is, all the funny jokes are things that happened.