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Why Men are Proud?   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Feb-28 by WALTER784; 994 views.
Msg 1 of 25
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

Feb-28

Why Men are Proud?
 
1. We know stuff about tanks.
 
2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.
 
3. We can open all our own jars.
 
4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group.
 
5. We don't have to learn how to spell a new last name.
 
6. We can leave a motel bed unmade.
 
7. We can kill our own food.
 
8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
 
9. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
 
10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.
 
11. Underwear is $10 a 3-pack.
 
12. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
 
13. Everything on our faces stays the original color.
 
14. 3 pairs of shoes are more than enough.
 
15. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.
 
16. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
 
17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
 
18. Same work - more pay.
 
19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
 
20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a "little gift".
 
21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit we might just become lifelong friends.
 
22. Our pals never trap us with, "So, notice anything different?"
 
23. We are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
 
24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public.
 
25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
 
26. The same hairstyle lasts for years--maybe decades.
 
27. We don't have to shave below the neck.
 
28. A few belches are expected and tolerated.
 
29. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
 
30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
 
31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife.
 
32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
 
33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 2 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes.
 
34. We know nothing about dust, and we don't care.
 
FWIW
 
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Msg 2 of 25 to WALTER784WALTER784 
In reply toRe: msg 1
Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Mar-20

11. Underwear is $10 a 3-pack

Not anymore.

 
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Msg 3 of 25 to Showtalkshowtalk 
In reply toRe: msg 2
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

Mar-20

Some of the jokes I post here are 20 ~ 25 years old.

FWIW

 
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Msg 4 of 25 to WALTER784WALTER784 
In reply toRe: msg 3
Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Mar-23

Well, inflation.

 
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Msg 5 of 25 to WALTER784WALTER784 
In reply toRe: msg 1
$1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)

From: $1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)

Mar-24

These days, I know several women who can easily check some if not most of those boxes, and aren't all legbeard types.

 
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Msg 6 of 25 to $1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)ROCKETMAN_S 
In reply toRe: msg 5
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

Mar-24

In today's society, it seems like almost anything goes!

Except being a straight white Christian. (* SMIRK *)

FWIW

 
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Msg 7 of 25 to WALTER784WALTER784 
In reply toRe: msg 6
Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Mar-24

It’s even worse for you if you are a straight, white older male. For some reason there is both ageism and genderism.

 
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Msg 8 of 25 to Showtalkshowtalk 
In reply toRe: msg 7
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

Mar-24

Showtalk said...

It’s even worse for you if you are a straight, white older male. For some reason there is both ageism and genderism.

Bottom line: It's do what they want or you're a goner!!!

No choice... you must follow them or they will destroy you!

And sadly, that is the honest truth!

FWIW

 
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Msg 9 of 25 to WALTER784WALTER784 
In reply toRe: msg 6
$1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)

From: $1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)

Mar-25

Sure seems that way.

Some day, because almost nothing of the modern era is written down or carved in stone or painted on cave walls, future archaeologists will see this era as an opaque mystery, where there was once a teeming population with vast cities and apparently goods moved vast distances so that even the poor had access to items sourced from thousands of miles from point of production. And no one will really understand why they collapsed and what started the wars that turned most of that era into radioactive ash.

 
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Msg 10 of 25 to $1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S)ROCKETMAN_S 
In reply toRe: msg 9
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

Mar-25

And in 100 or maybe 1000 years, this era will be recorded as the black hole that occurred on Earth!

FWIW

 
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