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Tricky 8-11 Months   Quit Support

Started 8/26/15 by ModAndrea; 104058 views.
In reply toRe: msg 537
SusanK1960

From: SusanK1960

Jun-23

Hi All,

I am trying to not be a sissie, but I need some assistance....

I have been reading and rereading the messages in this thread for at least 1 month. I have been on this forum for about 8.5 months. The people and Mods on this forum have been great, supportive, informative and I credit this forum for getting me where I am today in my quit.  I am again seeking wisdom from the masses...

I have been reading Tricky 8-11 months thread so intensely for confirmation that what is happening with my brain is because of where I am in my cessation.  I acknowledge I am somewhat dismayed and sorrowful due to the happenings, such as virus, deaths, wrongs in the world, which I seem to deal with differently since quitting smoking, maybe because I have to learn to deal with stress differently, OR is it because I quit smoking that the dark thoughts, the all day anxiety, the panic attacks, the slow slide downhill that seems to be getting worse with each day rather than better for the last three months, is actually because it is my body healing and is just part of the journey? I have talked to my primary doc about this and I am being treated for the symptoms, however, I wanted a smart quit this time.  I want to know if this is a phase of smoking cessation, brain healing, etc. and by 12-14 months of no nicotine, my brain will have adjusted to the new life style, the hormones will have stabilized and I will be able to stop the meds.  In the past, when I would get these emotions, I would relapse. Previously, I didn’t have this forum in my toolbox, nor did I have previous quitters stories to inform me that I am not totally unique in my quit.

What I can’t find on the forum is the end of the book.  I have read about the depression, the dark thoughts, the anxiety that occurs at different stages of the quit.  In this thread, I can really relate to Marciame was describing in this thread and Justin reassuring her about meds, however, I never found whether she or anyone else with those negative emotions stayed quit and if she/they did, did her depression get better?   It just kind of stops.There is less confirmation for those later in the first year of quit who are not doing good in all dimensions.  That is why this thread was written.  However, to me, this thread contained writing from Marciame, who seemed to be suffering much more deeply than others wrote about and I can relate to that suffering right now.  Like Marciame, I have meds to help me right now thru these feelings, however, I would like to know that  these, the meds and the emotions, will end, cause I don’t want to lose my quit, nor do I want to lose my mind.

Please let there be someone out there that understands this feeling and will reassure me that it does get better emotionally/Psychologically because I am so much better and I am winning, but I don’t want to be rewarded at the end of this year with having to be on medications rather than cigarettes.  Neither is wanted or needed by me.  I am seeking an affirmation from people who have quit smoking, not a doctor who will just give me pills to help me adjust. Can any one help give me some peace of mind, literally, that they went thru the same feelings for sometime in the last of their 1 year and that it all normalized after a while?  I am really looking for affirmation and wisdom, not sympathy.  I have a big toolbox and I am asking for another tool.  LOL.
PS I have never been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc, prior to quitting, so even though the meds I have been given are to get me thru this cessation, it doesn’t mean I have been given those diagnosis YET......


 

I still remember how tough the entire first year was. Even at 10-11-12-13 months still hanging on by my fingernails at times but in month 14, I finally found my jitters, anxiousness, blues, headaches etc. faded away. I kept believing what others further along than me kept saying. It will get better, you will calm down and be happy again. This truly is a Wicked Drug Addiction. The quit stories and journals folder has many stories from when I quit so take a read. My entire stress response greatly decreased and I no longer wanted a cigarette to cope with life. 

You hang in there, freedom is in sight and you will reap the benefits of getting this addiction out of your life for good. Keep on NOPING every day along with all your quit buddies!

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

SusanK1960

From: SusanK1960

Jun-23

Thanks Debbie,

I have belief  and I know because of your journal that your physical self got better, I wasn’t sure if you had any deep emotional or psychological responses, as I know, everyone’s quit is different.  I also have read where people were taking an antidepressant, Which I would assume was for their quit, however, I never read where they were able to get off the antidepressant after they quit because it “normalized“. Thanks you for the reassurance.  I will keep the faith.

48yrsmokin

From: 48yrsmokin

Jun-24

This is Ed again thanking you for your post. I'm so their with you. With the head games playing all the time. Again wondering about the thoughts and feelings in my head just as you are having the same problems. I'm not going to get more pills to take forthe problem I just want to deal with it. Butt it's not getting any easier. Just have one is getting stronger as time goes on. NOPE is used alot and friends are not giving in to me.  So I plod along in my thoughts waiting for the good times to get back in my head.   I AM STRONG with what I have already been threw and not giving that back to the smoky side

alreadysick

From: alreadysick

Jun-24

Susan,

I do feel your pain. I am in month 11 and I am still suffering. I have generalized anxiety disorder, and I now have been suffering from depression for most of my quit. I have accomplished next to nothing these past 11 months. I am so sad all of the time. It has to stop at some point. I can't take antidepressants so they are not an option. Returning to smoking is not an option as well. I think the current situation with the world definitely adds to the sadness, but I also believe that the sadness would be there anyway. 

I don't know what to say to help you but just know that you are not alone. Hang tough, sister!

Sorry to hear you are still sad. Yes this pandemic adds to the mental stress of The Quit. 

Your brain is still working overtime and rewiring and will eventually balance out once those nicotine receptors totally shut down. You may still experience sad times but I can guarantee its not as heightened as when we smoke. I found my whole body calmed down after 14 months and others felt the total calm by 18 months. Whatever you experience, just being quit will heal your body in so many ways. I also started doing lots of walking/jogging then joined a gym, hired a trainer and did lots of weight training and this really helped with the blues. Till this day I do a jog/walk every day and hopefully soon I will get back to the gym once the Covid precautions allow us to get back in the groove. Exercise increases our endorphins (that runner's high) and it really lifts our blue moods. 

I wish you continued success in your quit and I hope your blue moods lift soon. Congrats on 11 months and the 1 year clubhouse is around the corner. Keep on NOPING!

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

DbAnne

From: DbAnne

Jun-24

Remember that your brain is healing itself from the effects of nicotine and all the other chemicals smoking puts into your body.

Also remember, laughter is the medicine to depression.  Even if you fake a smile, eventually, that smile becomes real.  Even if you fake a laugh, that laughter becomes real.  Laughter also creates the endorphins.  I have suffered generalized anxiety all my life and I have learned that there are are natural ways to create endorphins  - exercise, laughter, meditation, wellness appreciation, deep breathing, a combination of all of these things.  Also, check your diet.  I take Vitamin B12 supplements which help my moods.  Check your diet to see if there is room for supplements.

Remember, you are in the end game and, what ever it takes, you are going to win.

    

SusanK1960 said:

However, to me, this thread contained writing from Marciame, who seemed to be suffering much more deeply than others wrote about and I can relate to that suffering right now.  Like Marciame, I have meds to help me right now thru these feelings, however, I would like to know that  these, the meds and the emotions, will end, cause I don’t want to lose my quit, nor do I want to lose my mind. Please let there be someone out there that understands this feeling and will reassure me that it does get better emotionally/Psychologically because I am so much better and I am winning, but I don’t want to be rewarded at the end of this year with having to be on medications rather than cigarettes.  Neither is wanted or needed by me.  I am seeking an affirmation from people who have quit smoking, not a doctor who will just give me pills to help me adjust. Can any one help give me some peace of mind, literally, that they went thru the same feelings for sometime in the last of their 1 year and that it all normalized after a while?  I am really looking for affirmation and wisdom, not sympathy.  I have a big toolbox and I am asking for another tool.  LOL.

Hey there Susan,

I can offer some affirmation that it will, indeed, get better.   The whole first year and then some might be needed for you but I promise you it will improve.  I did not turn the corner till after the 10th month and still had the little beast showing up in the second year  whenever a highly stressful event happened.   

For me that stress showed up in the second year with the incarceration of my daughter. For others it could be the death of a friend  or parent.  Either way , the first huge stressor event occurs to all of us after we quit and we have to keep Noping  because it so worth every minute of pain we go through.

We are all so different.  I was on an anti depressant for the whole first yr of my quit.   Keep in mind that some folks come to their quits with prior emotional problems.  Some have been diagnosed with anxiety.  Those folks will have a harder time than others.  Likewise, someone who smoked for 10 yrs may not have as hard a time as someone who smoked for decades.

I do suggest expanding the 'One Year and Beyond Milestones' thread and reading one story everyday.   Some of these milestone testimonies kept me going when it was hard to keep on going.   They each have a unique perspective.

We can grow so weary in our journeys but our quit buddies can help us stay on track.

SusanK1960

From: SusanK1960

Jun-24

You sound strong Ed!  I’m sorry you are suffering, however, thanks for the company.  It is nice to know I’m not alone.  Kittymom in this forum always says together we are stronger, usually in her NOPE pledge.  Heres to us together giving and getting stronger!

SusanK1960

From: SusanK1960

Jun-24

Hi Michelle,

I was just thinking of you yesterday!  In just a couple weeks, you will be celebrating at the clubhouse, which is wonderful!  You are a tough one!  Thank you for your helping hand!
 

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