Good morning Duchess

The lovely Lola is still having her moments, she thinks she rules his house but I’ve got News for her. It’s very cold and wintry here which is really disappointing because it’s only very early in April. I was hoping hoping for a nice warm autumn to get out in the garden. It’s a wonderful thing that you’ve taken on this forum. It’s a huge job.

Okay I’m off to meet a friend. We taking the dogs to the dog park and then we’re going to have fish and chips on the foreshore afterwards. Just shame it’s not nice the weather.

caz

Hey Caz, 

Lola sounds like she's taking right to being a Princess, lol.

I'm sorry to hear the weather has turned so cold so fast. The weather is still a bit up and down here. 

Thanks Caz, you're support and encouragement mean a lot to me.  

It's sounds like you had a wonderful time the other day with your friend. I'm sure Lola enjoyed it too. It's so good to have a day of just being out and about, having fun and relaxing. I hope you've had a good weekend too and have a great week ahead. 

My friend had a minor slip with her diet too, so we called it even and are continuing on. 

Have a great day.  

Hey Anthony, 

Just checking back with you. How's it going? How are you doing? Hope all is well and hope to hear from you again soon. Best wishes.    

Have a great day.  

All's well Denim, into my 6th day, just sitting back and taking it easy.

 Hey Anthony, 

Congratulations!  I'm so happy for you! Best wishes as you keep moving forward. 

Have a great day.  

I'm afraid I lost it made 6 days, and blew it with one cigarette, am back on track though new quit date the tenth, thanks anyway Denim you're always so supportive

In Christ

Anthony

Hey Anthony, 

I haven't heard from you in a bit and just wondering how it's going with your quit. Please post again and let us know how you're doing with it. Thanks. Wishing you all the best. 

Have a great day.  

Hi Denim,

All things are good here, I put in a four day quit, busted on my fifth day, back on the wagon now though. thanks for asking.

Hey Anthony, 

Sorry your quit busted on day five but so happy that you got right back at it. I know quitting isn't easy under normal circumstances and a bit more, no doubt, when temptation is right there in front of you. I also know slipping and starting again at square one can be a bit frustrating, speaking as someone who had more than one go at it myself before finding success. However, that being said, I also know the strength it takes to do it and that it can be done. So big congratulations to you on gathering that strength back up and getting right back to it because one will stick and you can do it, just don't give up. We go through a lot when we quit, both physically and psychologically. Of course the latter of the two lasting the longest. It's not all we go through though because there's the learning experience too. Relearning how to do things or be places where we would have before normally smoked. Now trying to navigate how to do them or be in them without lighting up. Then there's the timing too, like that early morning or after we eat smoke. So often times, even bits of a daily routine can act as a trigger. They say for that we should switch things up a bit but that's not doable sometimes, so we have to learn to do those things, be in those places, etc., in a whole new way without smoking. So, it really is a learning experience too and sometimes trying to do that and also battle what our minds/thoughts are putting us through can feel a bit overwhelming and can often lead back to 'just one'. In those moments try to recall there usually isn't 'just one' and try to turn those thoughts around into a more positive light. Change the words 'can't' and 'never' to 'can' and 'choose'. The idea that you can't ever have another cigarette often brings on a feeling of panic or anxiety. Remind yourself, of course you can, they're sold everyday but that you're choosing not to smoke. Having that choice relives a little of that. The idea of never doing it again has the same principal. Change that to not right now. Remember, keep your quit in the moment, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Each moment smoke free is a moment closer to freedom from it. That's true and it sounds great and we do want that freedom, that's why we quit. Nonetheless, sometimes even that simple thought of freedom triggers our brain a bit. After all, freedom it implies no more smoking. So early on, if that too dredges up those thoughts/feelings then let it go. Don't think about that statement. The freedom will come whether we dwell on it or not. Besides, that involves looking ahead and sometimes looking too far ahead can cause added stress and/or anxiety that we don't need starting out. Another reason staying in the present moment early on is so important. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself or too critical. What I mean is, you're dealing with withdrawal, both physical and psychological, and you're having to relearn doing things in a new way. As Terry and Marge have said, it really is a process. So, try not to be too hard on yourself, instead congratulate yourself on your accomplishments and those moments, take pride in them, but don't mistake pride with over confidence. Over confidence is a trickster that often tells us that we're doing so good that we can handle 'just one'. What it's really saying is you're doing great but you could be a smoker again. Back to what I said before, of course you could, they're sold everyday but you're choosing not to smoke and not to put yourself back through that because you really are doing great and that's wonderful to hear, especially from within ourselves. We often believe what we tell ourselves. As far as the critical, for those who have had to give it more than one go, often we recall those previous quits during the new one. Don't. They're done. Don't let thoughts of old quits sabotage your new one. If we fall into that trap of dwelling in them or allowing ourselves to foster the thought we might fail again it's like giving ourselves permission or a excuse to do just that. This one has nothing to do with those. This one is here and now, in this moment, this minute. Funny thing about life, no matter what we go through we learn something. Therefore, they weren't complete failures, each one taught you something, no matter how big or small, even if no more than what triggered the last slip. Keep the lessons, let the rest go, and carry on because you can do this one moment at a time and I wish you all the best. Remember to use distractions too. They truly help. 

Have a great day.  

P.S. Please post me your quit date so we can celebrate milestones with you. Thanks. 

Writing all of this, I was just thinking back too to a small bit of a old article that used to be here before it was later revised. The bit I'm thinking of was written in part about how not to feel sorry for ourselves when we quit and, though small, that one bit often struck a cord of inspiration for new quitters and maybe it will again for you too, so I'll just leave that small portion of that old article here. 

"Joe gets to smoke and I can't!"
Hold on. Joe doesn't get to smoke; Joe needs to smoke because he's addicted to nicotine.  If you could get inside Joe's head, you'd find out he spends a lot of time wishing he could quit smoking ... just like you did before you quit.

I'm glad you're using the straws. Remember to reach out anytime. We're here for you. Talk more soon. Have a good day.  

Thanks Denim,

I'll consider what you said, meanwhile I will and have set a quit date for the 4th May.

In Christ