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Lost - 100% need to quit but 101 reasons & excuses to continue   Introductions/Newcomers Nook

Started 10/28/19 by stop4good; 1533 views.

From: stop4good


I feel stuck and scared and selfish. I'm 48 yrs old and a dad to 3 great kids, smoke 1 to 2 packs a day (every day literally (even checked out of hospital stays to have a cig over the years)) since 16 yrs old... I feel so weak and very selfish... My dad passed away this April from smoking, my sister is on oxygen from smoking, I've just had surgery for cancer (all removed), my young kids and I have written little contracts for me to quit smoking, and last night on the eve of my twin daughters birthday they sat me down and shared their fear for me in my smoking. I have tried many things (tips, tricks, meds etc..). My addiction to smoking has consumed me, relationships, money and as I type this I feel so twisted... Why do I wake up with every good intention and find myself consumed with the thought of smoking and physically withdrawing from life just to go and satisfy this urge? I really got stuck in the smoking "story" while in the military that started when I 18 years old and have never broken the cycle (smoking brought me comfort, security, relaxation). I'm putting myself out here as I'm desperate, and told my kids I will try and go to any lengths to quit, - I just don't know how to make it stick? I can't/don't want to break their trust in me. 

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)


This addiction is wicked and can and will make us do things we don't want to do.  BUT, you can beat it.  I never thought I could quit either, but I am doing it, one day at a time. Tell yourself, " Today, I will not smoke."  Repeat tomorrow.  Don't look back and don't look forward, just stay in the day and don't smoke.  You can do this and as I have learned, quitting won't kill you, but smoking sure will.  

The reason to quit is because you've just been through a cancer already and those sweet children of yours NEED YOU and you may Want cigarettes but you don't NEED them. 

Enough of the excuses as we've all made them. Cigarettes are poison! So stop poisoning yourself. 

Yes quitting sucks but do not fear quitting. Get educated about the quitting process. Developing the Quit Mindset is key. So read everything on this forum, read the Allen Carr book The Easy Way to Quit Smoking, read the Whyquit.com site plus check out the vast amount of videos on YouTube. 

We all need support in quitting. Many of us use nicotine replacement products, prescription medications from our doctors, mint or cinnamon gum, sugar free candies, use straws to suck on and puff on etc. I used a combination of nicorette spray, gum and the inhaler. I had to use the inhaler for the hand to mouth behavior and was able to wean off all of these as the months went by. 

You can do this like so many have. Just believe in freedom. Believe in yourself and protect your quit like you would protect those children of yours and don't let anything or anyone sabotage your quit. Life is too precious to allow cigarettes to control you. So, keep busy and stay distracted, get into exercise, go outside breath in that fresh air, brush your teeth often and rinse with mouthwash to keep that fresh breath feeling. Wash down the areas where you smoked as you'll see how disgusting that tar in cigarettes sticks to everything including your sensitive lung and throat tissue. 

Drink lots of water, do deep breathing and stay distracted = the 3 D's.

All of us on the forum will post to you when you need us so come here to complain and just know that you are not alone in this battle. This forum has a 'pay it forward' logic and it really helps us all. This is a long frustratingly slow process so pack your patience. Start reading and try to read everything the moderators post. I wish you the very best of luck.

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013


From: MarkOU812


Hey stop4good

I'm 54 smoked  about 2packs a day since 15. I finally got mad at my addiction. I saw it as a friend that had utterly betrayed me. I see it for what it is. When quit I literally yelled at it, more than once, telling it I was done with it. Your mind tends to believe what you tell it, even if you don't believe it at the time. After reading your post maybe you need another contract for if you keep smoking; I promise to have a hack for the rest of life. I promise not to be at my kids weddings. I promise to always stink like smoke. I sure you get the point and can add to the list. I smoked for 39 years and now if a daughter that smokes and son that chews .

I'm on day 15 of the rest of my life. Joined a gym today, might try yoga. Going now to get the proper attire. I'm no one special, but you are. So if I can do it so can you. I will be here to help and hope you will be here to help me when I need it. The 2 that posted before me are angles sent to help us. Read, post and know you are not alone. 

Debbie hope you don't mind I'm going to steal part of you signiture.

10/13/2019 I stopped poisoning myself 



From: overdoz


Maybe you have  a buddy or close relative that has quit that you can talk to, someone you look up to, thats what made me think of quitting years ago. I had a cousin that quit and he was mountain biking like crazy and telling me how good he felt. 

If not make some friends here i would say. 

I find myself walking a lot since i quit, lol. I like it though i used to walk everywhere when i was a kid


From: ModDee


Just checking in on you.  How are you today? You may find the article below of help to you.  Click on the title"Kevin is kicking butt".


Best wishes.



From: BlueDahlia29


Stop4good I was as hard core smoker as they came. Smoked 2 packs a day and it took me 4 years of quit attempts to actually gain a long term quit. I guess what I'm saying is if I can do it you absolutely can too. You need to make a firm decision that you won't smoke anymore and stick to that. Also, find an alternative to smoking...NRT, cinnamon sticks, drinking water through a straw... anything but smoke.  You'll love being a non-smoker you'll gain so much more quality time with y;our kids. You CAN do it!!!

In reply toRe: msg 6

From: MarkOU812


Thank you so much for dusting that off for us, Dee. 

Jenifer (Zarknorph)

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)


First of all, you have to accept the truth of the situation.

Why do you smoke?

I smoke because I enjoy it.

I have to quit because it is too expensive.

That is not a good emotional place to be, when embarking on something as difficult as this.

You cannot be coerced, shamed or bullied into quitting.  You have to be in control of your motivations.

You also need to acknowledge why quitting is so hard.

Someone here mentioned it was like a friend betrayed them.  Smoking was your friend.  It was there with you at every party, every great night, every big event.  Just tagging along for the atmosphere.  Saying goodbye to a lifelong friend is very hard.

Perhaps you could start by just cutting back.

It is fairly likely that you don't even think about whether you even want a cigarette right now (well, you will now because we're talking about it), but you're just so accustomed to always having one.

So some things to try:

  1. Don't have the pack handy.  If you want a cigarette, make sure you have to go all the way to the other end of the house to get one out of a pack in a drawer.
  2. Get a craving? Wait a few minutes.  Try to not have more than one cigarette in an hour.  If you make it the hour, maybe have one, maybe not.  See if, after a while, you don't even notice that you've gone an hour and a half, then two...
  3. Don't smoke inside the house.  Having to go outside is another way to make the task of having a smoke more laborious.
  4. Only buy one pack of cigarettes at a time.  No more buying them in cartons.  You will find yourself rationing them, just to avoid the hassle of having to go to the store.
  5. Use patches.  There is NO SHAME in getting all the help you can.

I hope some of these ideas can help you cut down.

Take the pressure off yourself.

Do this in your own time, in your own way.  Otherwise it will just be so much harder to succeed.

And if you fail to quit.  Just try again.  And again.  And again.

You are not a selfish man. And you are not a weak man.

Selfish men never admit their failings and weak men never ask for help.




From: Jonny84


You can beat this!  I am 45 yr old father of 3. Quit for the kids!  That’s what I’m desperately trying to do. It is really hard- but we got this. Take it one day at a time/ one minute at a time and sometimes 1 second at a time. It will get better and easier it’s just going to take patience and perseverance. It i go back to smoking- I am gonna be so disgusted at myself- I’m trying really hard. On day 8