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Deana's Journey    Quit Stories and Journals

Started Mar-2 by JerseyDee; 3232 views.

From: Loreficent


Way to go Dee!!

Hang in there. Write write write!!!


From: DebraAnne60


I agree with the others, you are doing great.  We are here for you.


From: JerseyDee


Good Morning DebrAnn.  Thank you for reading that very long journal entry from yesterday and for your supportive words.  

Doing well this morning.   Have truly broken my association with morning coffee & cigarettes . I think what helped though is I have changed my coffee routine .. I want to lose 15 lbs and one of the bad sticky points i had in trouble doing so was I put tons of sugary vanilla creamer in my coffee in the morning ..

I have recently changed that to sugar free almond milk and that changes my coffee routine and I believe has also been a helpful in kicking that coffee & cigarette morning association.

I am all done with my early morning here and getting ready to head out to water aerobics class.  After i get home from that I will be busy doing errands and such until I have to leave for a specialist's appt an hour away from here .. have to leave here at noon for that ..

Bottom line I will be occupied and distracted this morning so will have no time and interest in smoking .. my morning will go well .. however, I am already bargaining with myself this morning and I am mad at myself for doing so ..

I am already telling myself for getting through the drive to Newark back and forth today and not caving in I deserve a treat on the way home this evening and that is to stop by sitnky/smoky neighbor's to share a smoke ...

I have GOT to find a way to break that 1-2 a day habit.  I would consider chantix but I dont' think that is the right thing for me as i am on anti-depressants and have a history of depression as a consequence to managing chronic pain since my accident some years back.  That said I don't think chantix is the right fit for me.

Again, thanks for reading and support.  Going to pop a piece of nicotenet gum and get ready to head on out of here to the gym.  I have picked up some clementimes as a suggestion here and I have ordered some red hots on amazon ..

I am going to pick up some straws tonight and some more sugar free bubble gum and sugar free werther's coffee sucky candies ..

However, I really do think what I am battling right now is the hand/mouth habit and filling time rather than the physical addiction .. not to misunderstand I still deal with addiction .. but that habit truly seems more the problem ..

Have to find another way to fill my time.  Hard with my physical limitations.  Ugh .. it will all come together in time .. I am very dedicated and hopeful that it will.

Have a great Tuesday morning.  Thanks again for listening to me .. it means more than i can say.  - Dee

In reply toRe: msg 1

From: JerseyDee


Well it is with a heavy heart that i report that the past two days I have stopped by stinky/smoker's for a smoke after lunch and a smoke after dinner .. M-W are hard for me due to my light schedule.

However, tomorrow, 3/5 a Thursday a work day for me I vow to pledge NOPE to and stick to it this time.

If I can get through the work day as I did last week there is absolutely no reason to stop by stinky neighbors at the end of the work day for a reward for having done so.  Instead I have some dark chocolate hershey kisses here all lined up for tomorrow and my reward for getting through the day will be a handful of those when i get home.

Please wish me luck.  I am determined to make this work tomorrow.

In the meantime I also ordered some red hots on amazon yesterday and should be here by Saturday.  I also picked up some straws and oranges and a new box of fruit nictoene gum from eBay for half the price of what you'd pay in the store for it ... I AM going to make this work. 

I will likely be back at some time tomorrow to journal more when I am hanging on by a thread.  


From: Eve1973


Come on Deana......you CAN DO THIS! You are stronger than the cravings.....you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to quit! Also you already know you have the support..... so stop going to your neighbor and start living your new and wonderful smoke free life!


Behind you 100%....Eve


From: DebraAnne60


You are so funny..... the stinky neighbor.....There is no such thing as a wasted quit.  Keep at it and you will find the right path for you.  Keep in mind though that every time you have a smoke, the nicotine is back in your system full scale and  you are restarting day one, again and again.  You keep reliving the first three days (the worst three days) of your quite.   We are here for you all the way no matter how many times you restart your quit.   


From: Matt1961


I will second that being there part for you.  I hate to say it, but this neighbor thing is going to keep being a problem for you.  It is just too easy.  You are going to have to go to the neighbor and say no matter how much you beg, how much you scream, how much you demand or try to pay for, that they are to never let you have so much as a puff again, either of their smoke or yours.  If they are your friend, they will help you with your quit attempt, even if it means you bite their head off for a few weeks.

Eventually, they are going to want to quit too.  I think every smoker does.  When they do, you can return the favor at that time.


From: SusanK1960


Hey Deana,

We understand how hard this is.  Nicotine has affected/controlled all of us here on the forum at one time during our lives.

cue, craving, response reward. These comprise a habit chain.

To break the smoking habit, you have to break the chain.  You need to break the response and define reward differently.  The difference between smoking and not smoking is response.  It is the only part we can control.

Caffeine is a trigger for me.  When I chose to quit, I gave up caffeine, which was a cue.  I did not drink caffeine for two months so I could create a new habit. It did not make it doubly hard as I did not see it as a deprivation, I saw it a step to changing me. 


From: JerseyDee


Good Morning Susan --  Strangely morning coffee is OK with me, however, I stopped using cream and starting using fat free almond milk instead as I am also an intermittent fasting diet trying to lose 15 lbs .. so the change of the taste of my coffee may have something to do with it.

But yes, the cue, response has just got to change with other triggers in my life.

Thank you.


From: JerseyDee


Thank you Matt.  I will talk to neighbor and tell you that no matter of how beg, etc to never give me a smoke again.  I hope this never leads to me every buying a pack again though .. that is my fear.  But will tell to never again allow me so much as a puff again.

Thank you.