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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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First 10 days review   General Chit-Chat

Started 5/6/20 by Musivore; 104657 views.
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-17

I’m following you this morning! Haha! Just found you in the NOPE. I’m very very jealous. I want someone to take me dancing! I do! I have the best and perfect mask for it!

Hmmm. Is my acceptance of death and dying any different? This will take some thought. I will say that my work skews my sense of humor. I’ve said some things to outsiders that cause them to look at me a certain way and they look, well, almost horrified. What is not understood well is the coping mechanisms that are developed in my line of work. Under those warped coping mechanisms, I think we are the same and just the same fragile and vulnerable beings as everyone else. I do think my line of work makes me view Life and living differently. For that I am grateful! Perhaps that too is a coping mechanism in its own way. Always finding something to laugh about or seeming to not be able to take things seriously. 
Today my friend I am struggling. Not to smoke, but to hang onto something small. Our World is gearing up again. Covid, Protests, traffic, vaccine or not to vaccine, all the hoopla and drama of things opening and how do we navigate all of it. I feel like I’ve turned a bit of a corner and can think deeply about some things and notice I don’t knee jerk wanting to smoke my thoughts away so much. Haha, well, that is taking a while, right? Was easier in some ways to just go out and have a smoke and let that veil cover things a bit. So maybe there is a bit more to the drug nicotine than we admit? Hmmm.

Today I’m struggling to understand....nearly 7 million J&J vaccines, 6 adverse events and one death, and our Government brings it to a sudden halt. 8 deaths from a mass shooting at a FedEx facility and things carry on, business as usual. Hard to wrap my mind around this kind of logic Peggy.
Likely better not to go there on here. I got different seeds to plant today. Sunflowers!!! 

I hope your last text with your friend was sweet. Yes...our fragile mortality. May we live and love with it always in our face Peggy. That is my wish for us. There is no better way than to embrace it fully every moment. I’ll be dancing with you tonight Peggy Love. Under the stars. kissing_heart

euknight

From: euknight

Apr-17

Eliza,

I just left you a PM.  So good to see you on here!!  Thank you for the well wishes.  I am excited you are already in the club!!!  Time does fly....

It’s ok not to post as much cos life goes on, right?  Time passes whether you smoke or don’t.  That is just it.  Are we going to spend it nicotine free or not is the question!!

Good to hear from you!!

Peggy

5-8-20

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-17

Wait....I might be losing it joy Did I miss your actual year Eliza? I hope not and I have some vague memory of us talking about it maybe being the 10th of April. Well, CONGRATULATIONS Dear Eliza! 
I just got back from a quick walk to see John. Yes. That John. Still tall and watching. He is rather black now. And I got a bit sweaty as it is 79° degrees here in this fine city, with a high of 82° expected. I had all these plans of planting and making my deck all Summery and now I am hot and sleepy! joy Best take me a little snooze if I’m gonna dance the night away, haha! Will finish my Green Drink and see if it affords me some energy to accomplish things. I do love the PNW, but, it does not give one time to acclimate to hot days like other places I’ve lived. Your just lollygaggin along in theses upper 50° to lower 60° days and then BAM! Into the 80’s we go! Woohoo! 
Also Peggy, I’m gonna go check on the Hummingbird babies. They may have flown that nest already. I’m not too up on their development and maybe I’ve missed it. Hope not. Will send you a picture update if I can! blush

Eliza, three cheers to you!!! hibiscussunflowerblossomsun_with_facestar!

CC to euknight
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-17

Ok...so I got to the Nursery and made a beeline directly to the nest, and my little heart sank...


 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-17

But then I looked up!!

So now I have to read about their growth, etc. They went from little pin feathers in the nest to up on the wire so fast it seems!! So precious they were, sitting there waiting for Momma to bring them their dinner. Oh my goodness. I watched them for quite a while as I wanted to see them fly back down into the nest, but it was getting late and was hot in there. It hit 84° today. Oh boy. 
Have a lovely night dancing! blush

oxanquits

From: oxanquits

Apr-19

Loreficent said:

our fragile mortality. May we live and love with it always in our face Peggy. That is my wish for us. There is no better way than to embrace it fully every moment.

Lore, you’re inspiring as always, I like the way you see things, are you a bit of a writer ? ;) 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-19

Hi Oxana,

Good to see you here. Thank you, no, not a writer in any official way. I’ve called my ramblings here the “nattering of an addict” many times. Still true. I do think there are seasonal adjustments with this recovery. My favorite time of year is upon us and I’m into this quit almost 14 months. Still, I have these moments crop up where I think I’d really enjoy a smoke. I know on a very conscious level I do not want to be a smoker though, so, I don’t. The thoughts pass at times very quickly and before I know it I am realizing the thought was several hours ago. Other times, they pass more the like the coming of evening, where the bright and sun filled day slowly fades and gives way to a darkened sky. This time of year it gets dark quite slowly here! joy No matter. There is always that first star to be found and I always feel better. I’m hunkered down into this quit now and the thoughts don’t threaten me anymore. I do at times find them annoying...similar to, say, a mosquito? You know where there is that incessant dim buzzing and you can’t seem to find it so you can smack it out of existence in this World and send its little bit of energy elsewhere in the Universe. If it gets like that, the smoking thoughts, I generally realize I am actually restless overall and there are often other reasons for that restlessness accompanying or underlying the smoking thought. That’s when a walk or some sort of physical movement is what it takes to shift my mind back to equilibrium in my recovery. Again, I’m at peace with that too. Sometimes you just have to wear out time. 
 

You are doing very well! I’m very happy for you! You must be noticing some positive things with it, right? You exercise too, right? It makes a world of difference for sure. 
Oh, and thank you for saying that very nice thing that you find my thoughts inspiring. You are quite the uplifting person yourself!blush

blackbird912

From: blackbird912

Apr-26

This is just so cool that you got to witness these tiny miracles up close!!!   Truly a good sign.

Chris

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Apr-29

There is something in every single day that is worthy of notice, if only we don’t allow ourselves to get so stuck in our heads with our needs and desires that we don’t notice them. I was completely enthralled with those babies. Now my mind wanders with them on their flights and journeys beyond their little nest as they have moved on. Life is too worth living to be stuck in just my little mind! Eff those chains of addiction Chris. There is a lot more to notice when the veil is lifted. There really truly is. 
Had to come back and add after a lovely walk, I was thinking while walking that most of the things we think we need are fabricated and not true needs. Superficial desires. Knee jerk wants. Like craves, they pass. We get to choose what has meaning and what defines health for us. Staying smoke free may not be the knee jerk desire in some given moments for me still, but it has become the underlying current of desire and I know I have to ride those crave moments out. We all have that power, it isn’t magic. Don’t get caught in your head, step out and watch the thoughts roll by. I have another article somewhere on time distortion for you I will find later tonight after work. Silly me picked up an evening shift and I so don’t want to go in now! 

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Apr-30

Superficial desires.......Absolutely CORRECT!

So my one friend had a shopping/spending addiction. She would always say to me, how do you do it, I said to her sure the “impulse “ buy is strong......but I say do I really need it? Then I say, well if I REALLY want it, I will finish what I am shopping for, and come back for it. 99% of the time, I forget and leave the store!

So distraction is key! So I remember my craves, I would say, I will wash these dishes.....if I still have the desire to smoke then I will. I didn’t though. Because I knew I would never get to where I am again.....plus I had the support of this forum and DID NOT want to let my new friends down. But normally I would just forget about the crave.

Addiction is Not Picky, you can be wealthy, middle class or poor......doesn’t discriminate! Therefore recognize “your triggers,” avoid them for the time being till you have more time under your belt.

Chris, yes this is tough......Lore and I have been around for awhile now. We don’t have our “peace” yet, at least I don’t, but it is getting better and OMG I am ecstatic that I am QUIT !

So today I rambled......enjoy the weekend!

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