Yup. Negative. Now on my way in to work. Yippeee!

You are doing incredibly well with this quit, and have some great momentum going. I’m proud of you! 
Those out of the blue craves at this point can be hard, but, as you know, you have all the tools you need! Plus, you are stronger than you know. You must be feeling so much better at this point in Recovery. 
No poison needed! 

Yes. If I want to smoke I will. If I don't want to, I won't. I don't want to, so smoking cannot be an option.

There is no one to blame if I pick it up again but myself. Not my addict brain, not temptation, not anything.  Is it possible I will one day make the stupid mistake of 'Just having one'? that is always a possibility. That's why support is so important. It was hard the other evening, I admit, but we can't have what we want all the time, and I won't die from not having one. I just sat there and explained to myself why my brain was firing off , and repeated in my mind all the reasons why I really don't want to smoke, and eventually, it went away.

I feel good, yes. One day at a time :)

R.I.P. John

The rains the last couple of nights brought him down. What a run this guy had. 26 months. Ahhhh….so many secrets go with him. 
Turns out she had to cut the top off as he was draped across the sidewalk. So…lucky me. I have his crown. 70 inches. It is like hard dried wood, almost like drift wood really. I think I will make it my Christmas Tree this year! 

Oh. I will so miss my nightly walks to him. Will have to find another beacon I guess. 

Oh no! Sad to see/hear! Although, I do believe he lasted wayyy longer than most... right? Your Christmas Tree idea is neat! Am excited to see what that looks like :)

Whoa…….How strange to see him like that….Huge!!  A beacon of hope and for us, made a difference.  So cool to see the bloom last so long, meet the owner, the strength derived from this very outstanding plant.  A total blessing to have the top for a Christmas tree.  Wonder if it can be sprayed and preserved?  I am not a craft kinda girl but surely you can get some feedback.

This week begins our Fall with 80s in the day and 50s at night.  My swims under this Harvest Moon have been spectacular.  Sigh.  The wet suit will be worn next week probably.  Big bonfires starting this week if our winds stay low.  A friend is cutting down some dead trees so we will burn and then my brother and fam will also help this weekend.

I cannot help but wonder if a John seedling will appear…….I would not be surprised!!  Hi to Eliza!!  Hope you are well, girl!

Hugs,

Peggy

5-8-2020 Broken chains

Hey Lore, 

So sad to see, but it was there when you needed him, and now he served his purpose. Hugs to you…… you will always have your memories, and if somehow you can preserve him that will bring comfort to you. 
 

Hope you are well!

Ohhh, He is in heaven now.

Oh, yes, way way longer!!
I think the one next to him will bloom next year. It is huge. Not sure I told you…I’ve made friends with the owner there. She is a hoot and we walk together quite a bit. So that’s why I have the crown from him. Was funny how it all transpired. Serendipity! Love that about life. So many wonderful surprises! 
How are you??? Good to hear from you!  Managing to escape the COVID? C.R.A.Z.Y. Times for sure. Hope all is well! Here is a pic of the crown. It’s pretty big. Be a bit like a Charlie Brown tree, so I may still have to get an additional one according to Daughter. 

So this isn’t in the picture of the fallen part as she had cut it off already. It’s 70” tall. 

Stay WELL! 

Some of him is in my yard, lol! 

Was hilarious walking home with it. I’m not much for caring what people think, thank goodness! 
 

Yes…a plant with purpose! So, you are the crafty one of the tribe… any ideas how to preserve the crown I have?  Not sure exactly for how long…it’s kind of big. I have room in my back yard and think after it being a Holiday Tree it would be kind of nice to stand up back there and hang a couple of bird feeders from. Maybe some other decorations. Something funky. Maybe some potted plants in hanging baskets next year. It seems pretty sturdy. Like I said, like driftwood kind of. 
OR!!! On my deck when I make it into a catio and my babies can climb! Haha! 
So…got your trip dates yet???