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Romanticizing Cigarettes now that Spring Has Sprung   Quit Support

Started May-17 by JerseyDee; 2160 views.
JerseyDee

From: JerseyDee

May-17

So .. my plants/flowers are planted outdoors and ready for the warm weather.  Went out to rock on my rocker and take in the nice spring weather and bam .. I immediately started to romanticize smoking.  

Sitting on that rocking chair and smoking was the way I checked out and regrouped in the past.  I felt the knee jerk reaction for a cigarette when I was out there.

I looked at the little ceramic table next to chair and it looked so empty without my ashtray on it.  I immediately popped in a piece of gum and also put an indoor plant on the table so not to think of the space as the place for my ashtray.

I wonder from longer term quit forum friends if each new season will bring back smoking memories as such?

I am never going to allow this to make me cave.  I am very much committed to my quit.  I do vow to come out of this lock down pandemic as a non smoker .. totally.  But I can and do still romanticize smoking it seems.  I know it is probably just habit at this point ... what used to be so relaxing sitting out there rocking and smoking and taking in the spring air ..

Even the sound of it is so sick .. taking in the spring air? .. did I just hear myself? .. more like polluting the spring air! ..

Smoking is gross.  It is dark and murky and seedy and stinky.  Not too mention it stole my money and me terrible bodily harm.  It is disgusting how I can romanticize such a thing that kept me a prisoner .. it was not love I felt for cigarettes .. it was an obsession ... that is not healthy .. that is imprisonment and enslavement.  I was taken back how I felt on that rocker earlier : ( 

Elizaquits

From: Elizaquits

May-17

Hey Dee!

While I am not a long term quitter who can answer, I can at least relate!

The same thing happened to me yesterday after planting my garden, when I was done my mind said "time to smoke" - and it has been a while since I had that thought. Usually they are in third person where I say, "this is when I would smoke" or something of the sort.. this time.. it was my mind telling me I should smoke! Scary for sure! And to your point, polluting the air, not enjoying it!!

In one of the articles on the site it talks about the "year of firsts" and I think we just had one! To kinda answer your question, the article speaks of just what you mentioned, smoking memories. For example, the first non smoking vacation, thanksgiving, birthday, and so on. We have to live through these moments again as a nonsmoker so that we can make new memories as nonsmokers.  

Kudos to conquering one of your spring firsts :)

JerseyDee

From: JerseyDee

May-18

Good Morning Eliza -- yes, it seems very true .. a year of firsts in getting through this quit.  Glad I am not the only one who experienced such a craving this weekend.  Helps to know I am not alone .. but we are doing it .. we are beating back these cravings and winning this fight! .. By next year this time we will be going about our garden planting and taking in the newness of spring without the even remote thought of a cigarette .. let's keep keeping on in the menatime!

Have a pleasant Monday back to work, though you can from home in pj's ; )  .. unless of course you have to be in a video meeting .. otherwise .. I am sure it is pj's or yoga pants, etc .. nice and comfy .. I, on the other hand, have to jump in the shower soon and pull myself together for work.  But I'd rather that than sitting here in total lock down with nothing to do .. living that way for 6 weeks just TOO MUCH on me .. was depressing .. hated it .. work is a distraction from smoking also makes me fee productive! .. all good news for me.

Enjoy your new garden!  Have a nice spring day.  I heard 70* today.  Glad the winter weather is finally behind us!!

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

May-18

Hi Dee, 

It seems like this weekend was difficult for all three of us. I had terrible cravings too. 

I'm actually still craving one. The worst part is that in my mind I know it's not just one so I'm beginning to think about giving up altogether. 

But remember we promised each other we wouldn't smoke? That promise meant a lot to me :) 

So let's put the junkie thinking voice on mute please. And pray it all goes away. 

Hugs from Lisbon

Ana

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

May-18

Dee, yes I have read what Eliza said.....The year of 1sts or the change of seasons. Every Season/holiday or event that you associated with smoking will be a challenge. But remember when waking up and smoking was a thing? And we did that everyday! And we have overcome that!!! Just being prepared will be your savior! Sure you had those cravings in your chair, rocking away, mine are on my deck relaxing and enjoying the sunshine. So did this twice recently, and plan on doing it more. 
 

The  more you do something WITHOUT smoking, your brain will say oh I don’t do this anymore when I’m out here. Guess that’s what others say are those receptors shutting down. Maybe that’s why after the 1st year you have gone through all those 1sts! Usually. But just know to expect them when you are doing something for the 1st time quit. I think the hardest for most people are the morning ones, so if you can convince yourself to get thru those, you can do the SEASONAL ones!

Hope that helps! I’m going through them too also! But I don’t want to go backwards or start again! I’m actually glad I stopped! I so want to continue to be nicotine FREE!

JerseyDee

From: JerseyDee

May-18

That's a deal Ana - I have muted mine and hope you have as well.  Thankfully we have this board to draw strength from.

JerseyDee

From: JerseyDee

May-18

Yes Eve I guess a year of firsts. I do not want to go back either ..  Come too far now. Wish it was all so easy though ... I figure every first is going to take new conditioning ..  Reconditioning.

Ovivi

From: Ovivi

May-18

I know what you mean exactly, Dee. It’s easy to fall into the thought of remember how I used to feel. I try to remember that what it was, was nothing more than chemical addiction.

I am so glad to be in a place where I don’t have to feed the beast every hour or couple of hours, knowing the whole time it’s just a terrible thing to do to myself. The endless needing, the smell, the feeling of damaged lungs and throat.

 Yuck. Soo glad to be out of that way of life.

In reply toRe: msg 8
JerseyDee

From: JerseyDee

May-18

Just chemical addiction .. Thank you for putting it out there so clearly .. I found that very helpful.

icandothis79

From: icandothis79

May-20

hi there again :) yes,  this will get easier.  I'm almost to a year and I still have junkie thoughts but they are way less frequent.  The change from winter to summer was very hard for me.  Way too much correlating smoking with outside activities.  But you power through it and each time you do the nicodemon continues to die a little more each time.  

You got this! 

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