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Quitting Quit   General Chit-Chat

Started May-17 by candrew; 705 views.
candrew

From: candrew

May-17

I need to take a break. I have been at it since January, With five separate times ranging from 8 days to almost two months. I really thought I had it licked, the initial withdrawals were minor I figured the remainder would be the same. Fat chance.

I must tell you that I am taking Chantix. It is a great thing for people who really want to quit. It's not a miracle medication but more of a med that does reduce cravings. It worked until I caved and smoked on day 23 of my last quit. But I'll be perfectly honest, I began the relapse process long before my quit date. In my case, I don't need to be smoking to experience relapse. Its a mindset that I use as an excuse to start back up. 

I am going to quit quitting for the time being.  A need a break, not to say that I won't continue to try. I'm not sure what to do different but I need to write down what worked and what didn't work and go from there. I pride myself on my persistence and know that I will overcome this sooner than later.

Good Day

candrew

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

May-17

Andrew, I’m not going to sugar coat this, I’m disappointed! I know in order to quit you must be in that mind set! But it’s so much healthier for you to quit. My suggestion is to read Allan Carr’s book and write down why you want to quit! And maybe stalk here and read articles! Will miss you!
 

Come back soon! Please! I will be here to cheer you on! 

candrew

From: candrew

May-19

Hello Eve -

Thanks for your post. You always come up with words of wisdom. I know I how important it is to quit cigarettes. It's just a matter of what I call mindset. The ability to ignore the "pangs" and move on to a positive attitude. As much as I love smoking my tobacco I know my time is limited. 

I write a lot on different aspects of the process I have been through. Food for thought. Here is one of my papers.

5/19/20 Why I started smoking again?

Why did I decide to smoke again after 54 days of smoke-free living? Is it because you are fearful of living without your cigarettes? In my opinion the reason that many people fail to quit is fear of quitting. Fear of living without our beloved cigs is mostly rooted in smoking as long as I have and what behaviors that I am unwilling to let go

I

I have tried several many different methods from cold turkey, books, on-line seminars. I have been smoking for 40 years and I mostly despise it. However there are some things that I like about smoking. So what am I going to do differently? My journal is full of statements regarding quitting smoking with lots of affirmations and positive thoughts and feelings. I tried to prepare mentally for the attack from the “pangs” (withdrawls).

Unfortunately the statistics show that around 10% of us make it the first year. Why even try when we are doomed for failure? If I am honest with myself I was in relapse long before I picked up that first cigarette. I always knew that I could go back to smoking if I wanted. My commitment and

persistence took a backseat to the nicotine monster.

I need to get serious about this whole affair.

I made a decision to stop smoking in 2019. This time I prepared like I never have before. I attended Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking seminar. Searched the web for anything related to smoking cessation, consequences and the like. I also joined an internet based non-smoking forum called Delphi. The forum consists of caring folks from all over the world with the same addiction as myself.

Fifty four (54 days) is quite a feat. Typical past quits rarely lasted 10 days or so. I'm not sure I was ready to quit this time, but actually I was. Then something happened that was not expected.

Someone mentioned that I might smoke just one to help with my moodiness. That was all that I needed to hear and off to the nearest convenience store to get my fix. I guess you could call this a trigger. There was no hesitation, no beating up myself, no real rational thought but I am trapped in the nicotine pit again.

It was a trigger, much more than I have ever experienced in the past. My reaction was impulsive

and irresponsible. After all, I was on my way to a new smoke-free life. All the while my quit time has been a little testy for the first week but overall it was no big deal. I knew that the prospect of smoking just one cig would be the end of my efforts. It's too much work becoming a non-smoking person, but to give it up for one puff is insane.

There are many reasons that I started smoking again. I can blame nicotine for being the most repulsive, highly addictive, smelly and abusive to several critical organs such as heart, lung skin and the list goes on. So why do I smoke? My addiction has many facets such as physical withdrawal, respiratory problems, sleep issues, depression, lack of appetite and this list goes on.

It's been five months since I took that first step to end my relationship with nicotine. I was convinced that I would make it this time. I prepared diligently reading all that I could and writing in my journal. This a huge undertaking that I met with a strong desire to quit. Unfortunately I never thought much about the effects of withdrawal, after all I have two proven meds; Nicoderm and Chantix that have helped. But ultimately it is up to me, meds aside I must stand strong and stay focused on my goal of being a happy non-smoker in 2020.

Talk to you soon.

candrew

DebraAnne60

From: DebraAnne60

May-19

Just quit smoking - why are you making it more difficult than it is?  You will live a happier, healthier and more productive  and possibly longer life without cigarettes.   Its just that easy.  NO NRT's, no drugs.  Just quit.  

Quitting smoking is not a three day thing, a three month thing or 5 month thing, or even a one year thing - its a lifelong - life choice thing.  Choose life. 

If you were told to drink bleach would you?  No

Why not?  Because its poison.  Well that's what nicotine is - poison. 

Simplify it.  

candrew

From: candrew

May-19

Hello DebraAnne60

Thanks for your response. 

Oh, I wish life was simpler. Quitting is no trivial affair but I know that I will overcome. I am prepared to see this decision through for the rest of my life.

Just as my paper says "I need to get serious about this whole affair". You're damn right,  serious usually means action. The biggest action for me is quitting.

Hope you are having a good day.

Andrew

CC to candrew
kittymom413

From: kittymom413

May-19

Hi there, Andrew,

Please be kind to yourself. All of this is just a lesson for when you really are ready to quit. Do not let anyone give you a hard time about this as quitting is one of the hardest things you will ever do. You will never stay clean from nicotine unless you are ready to quit. If you're doing this for someone else or because you were bullied into quitting it will never last. It is all about you & your determination to quit. I had been bullied for years by friends & family, but until I was prepared & ready to fight this addiction I knew I would never kick it. No matter what, we are all here for you if you need us, no judgements. And whenever you finally get to that place inside where you know it's finally time, we will still be here. 

Sending prayers & positive vibes your way,

(((BIG HUGS)))

Kitty cat

DebraAnne60

From: DebraAnne60

May-19

Hi Andrew, I really feel sorry for you.  Giving up a 5 month quit must be horrible.  I can't imagine getting so far down your journey and then boom, right back to square one.  I know other's have done even worse, giving up on a 1 year quit,  2 year quite and some even more.  Crazy smoking has gotten so many millions of people all over the world.  It's a real shame and sham.   

Only you can decide to quit.  When you do, put you whole heart and mind into the frame, quitting is easy once you decide to do it.   There is nothing to fear by quitting smoking.  There is plenty to fear if you keep on smoking.   

It takes allot of work to start smoking.  If you can convince your body that smoking is ok, then you can convince your body that not smoking ok.  Read Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking to help you put this whole thing into perspective.

I hope you decide to get back on your quit journey.  Your have inspired me on my journey and if I can help you with your quit, let me know - I would love to see you succeed.

   

      

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

May-19

Hi, candrew,

Ok so your plan is to try again! I’m glad as Kitty said no one can bully you into doing it, but it is your choice! I’m just trying to be your cheerleader and also supportive. Your correct in the statistics. And I have even noticed others in the last couple months coming back to try again because they relapsed. 
 

Believe me when I say this, I know what you mean by thinking that you will go back to it, I sometimes feel that way. But it is a fleeting thought, and I move on. I’m actually tired of being a slave to it. Spending the money and always planning when the next time I can have one. I am willing to try and be a non smoker. My whole adult life I was a smoker. I also know that it’s like losing a limb, friend, or companion. I have lost both my parents and a brother to cancer and I still didn’t quit, not to say I am over their death, but I lived through it and have learned that I can only have one way conversations with them. The moral of that was I have moved on with living with out them (miss them dearly), but I can do that with cigarettes too. I can look back with fond memories but know that I needed to cut them out of my life! I have 11 more days to go before I reach 4months. My goal is to get to 1 year! I want to be here on this earth for a long retirement! Plus if I keep smoking how much will a pack be? Carton? Would I be giving up food money just to smoke? Travel? Gas? Electric? Etc? 
 

I will be here for you! Keep me posted when you are ready to change your life for the better. Oh and tell that friend next time your moody that he can go away if he doesn’t like it because you are NOT going to smoke! 
 

  • Edited May 19, 2020 1:44 pm  by  Eve1973
candrew

From: candrew

May-20

Kitty

Thanks for your response. I value my time on Delphi and really appreciate folks like you that support me. Yes, I am ready to quit, have been ready for several years. So many lame attempts, I have lost count. It wasn't until two years ago that I made up my mind to finally do something about my nicotine dependency. The  decision to quit was my own. I have nobody to blame (including myself). My wife is there for me but she smokes; it really doesn't really bother me but I wonder if that might be a reason for relapse. 

Fortunately,  I did very well with my two month quit. I had very few cravings and believed that I could reach my short-term goal of three months. I knew that this was a big-time fight with nicotine and I was ready to  confront the monster who coaxed me to take that first puff and then the process begins. 

I really really want to end this relationship with nicotine. It's like a bad marriage that no longer works, Divorce is on the horizon and your spouse is doing everything to make it painful.  You have two choices, either tough it out  or get out. Either method is painful but one must make a choice. Smoking  is similar in that you get the short end of the stick by continuing smoking. There are absolutely no good reasons that you should still be smoking cigarettes by continuing to use. 

Knowing how to talk the talk, walk the walk is an old AA saying which can apply to nicotine addiction. In my case I do a good job with the talk but the walk is another matter. Each time I "quit" I never even made to the walk. The nicotine monster stopped.

Stay in touch....Andrew

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

May-20

Oh, Andrew...

This all sounds so painful. I cannot imagine living with a smoker and trying to maintain staying quit, and I’ve mentioned here before that I am grateful that is not my situation. Are you comfortable telling more about that in the sense of brainstorming some ways to work around that issue with others that have this situation? I know Anthony does. 

I will say too that even though I don’t live with a smoker, I CAN relate to everything else you are dealing with! There is truth to everything here. We all have our ways to cope and we all are here for mutual support. For some that includes telling us stories, like Dee, that are amusing and yet so raw and real in the way they relate how this addiction controls us. For others it is being able to relay some tough love kind of advice. And others bring their gentle and kind words of encouragement that in a particular moment soothe us. But we are here in the same boat, as you know. Yet each of us on this boat needs to have our own life preserver that will keep us afloat if this boat sinks, yes?

Get your visual, set your sites, dig in, hold on, batten the hatches, hoist the main, do all these things, but when those craves come, just swim. As you said, you have all the tools. Perhaps you just don’t realize yet that when the life preservers are all taken, you are free to swim. Yes, Andrew, just allow yourself to swim. Believe in yourself. 

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