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5 months not smoking but my brain is still trying to lure me back in    General Chit-Chat

Started Sep-19 by Danhugs; 4072 views.
Danhugs

From: Danhugs

Sep-19

Find myself sometimes searching for ways that I can smoke without becoming addicted. It has been 5 months since had last cigarette. I am having these movie like fantasies of me sat with a good strong coffee and a cigarette. Like a part of my personality I have lost. I know the romantic images my brain conjures up for me to reminisce over are a lie but it is tough lol. 

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Sep-19

Hey Dan........are you crazy!!! Do you really want to go back to day 1? Seriously I know about the junkie thinking.....but you need to kick that thinking to the curb.

Yes it’s the bad/disgusting/ smelly part of you that you have lost.....but replaced with healthier lungs, soap smell, and no more brushing of the teeth and spitting out brown stuff! 
 

Do you honestly want to go back? I know no matter what the Nicodemon throws at me with trying to lure me back, is definitely not going to happen! I hope you don’t smoke! It does get better!

Danhugs

From: Danhugs

Sep-19

I dont want to and I dont think I will.  Just when things pop into my head and the thought lingers. Will get over it as the enjoyment of quitting  is slowly overtaking the desire to smoke again. 

Good for you on staying quit for the past five months. Those smoking dreams -- yuck they really seem real too. I had lots of those dreams and they would change as the months went by. At first I actually thought I smoked a cigarette but was thrilled to find out it was a dream. Then the dream would change to one where I would find cigarettes but would toss them in the trash and others where I saw Smokers and was happy to walk on by and being happy to say I don't do that anymore. 

You will still get smoke dreams and thoughts that come out of nowhere so be on guard. This is a long slow process and I finally no longer had thoughts of smoking or those jittery antsy, nervousness or craves by 14 months. Some people find freedom sooner and others a little later but in year two you will finally have this drug addiction under control. So, keep going and be proud of your monumental accomplishment! You definitely are no sissy!

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Sep-20

Yeah, don’t cave now. Just ride the waves. Surf along for a bit. Thoughts of that are much more enticing and romantic and the Ocean smells a ton better anyway.

Eve is right. Starting over sucks. Better to just have that coffee with a new fantasy. Or a walk. That’s nice too. Nap. Have a good nap with a dream or two. Just don’t smoke. You’ll regret it. Trust me.

Danhugs

From: Danhugs

Sep-20

I am starting to understand that the romantic, cool side of smoking had its place in time for me. And I used to say I could handle a tsunami if had a smoke and a coffee. But the sense of satisfaction I'm getting from slowly exercising the demon of smoke is totally worth it. Helps to share a bit of random thoughts. Many thanks 

CC to Loreficent
Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Sep-20

Oh good.... Agee with you about romanticizing the smoke. There was a time when it was “cool” to smoke. But now it has taken a place in Society as a taboo or people looking at you disgusted that you do this to yourself. 
 

Now I look at the smokers with sympathy that I know how they are being tricked that they are enjoying their smoke. 

Danhugs

From: Danhugs

Sep-20

I look at smokers in a similar way aswell. Addiction Is definitely a beast that is meant to be tamed and controlled or it can run wild and ravage everything in its path. The struggle of beating the addiction makes me feel more human than when I accepted it as part of me.

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Sep-20

Well, share away Dan. Sounds as though you are doing well piecing things out. There is still an occasional tsunami when I have my coffee in the morning. The coffee is something that is so so much a thing in my life that I would never give up though, so it is worth riding that wave. Funny smoking was never something I viewed as cool. I definitely had a romance with it and definitely still feel that lure as I do for other things that are no longer around too. Like you,  I also get a good deal of satisfaction exercising the demons out and it feels good to be getting stronger every day. Some demons...they refuse to be exorcised no matter how much I walk or run though, so I just carry them with me for company. I just let them be the wild beasts they want to be and run alongside. It’s not the beasties that scare me. It’s me.

Danhugs

From: Danhugs

Sep-20

Yeah It does seem life is just full of large and small addictions that come and go. Some harder than others to deal with. It is just annoying when you get a bit older and find out most the stories and lessons people told you were true. But I wanted to figure it out for myself lol. It is a crazy game. One day I will fight the end of game boss " the sugar monster" . 

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