Your definitely right about writing on here. It is a great way to put  some of the thoughts to bed. I hope over the next 5 months the world is trying to acheive a common goal. Instead of a trying to find a common enemy.  Maybe it is the same as addiction .  It is not and enemy to be vanquished but a tether to be untied from and watch it drift further away as I head in the opposite direction.  Many thanks loreficent.  You have a guiding muse like quality that is a pleasure. 

Well...I wish it would lull me to sleep about now. I’d like it very much to untether my mind and drift into sleep.

Ive been out walking as the night is lovely and the sounds so peaceful. Luckily all the little stores I wandered by were closed. I may have caved. 
 

Oh yes, thank you to you as well.

Big Congrats Dan on 5 months. I smoked for 42 years and now have been quit/done with cigs for 2 years now. You really have to reframe how you look at not having cigs in your life. A lot of quitters used to talk about how not smoking made them feel like something was missing. Romanticizing cigs and smoking is part of Nicodemon's trick/trap to get you back. BEWARE. I happily & gladly miss the not smelling like disgusting cigs. My brain still sometimes pings a cig thought when I have my coffee in the morning. Glad I can ignore and does not bother me. I sometimes have quick thoughts of a cig when I am extremely tired or super stressed out. My brain remembers that I used to smoke at times like that for 42 years. These thoughts just come occasionally now. I am waiting on the day that my brain totally forgets or has filed away permanently that smoking is forgotten. I don't miss smoking or desire to smoke just one. When I decided to kick cigs to the curb, I was DONE. I am totally divorced and done with cigs...just like a bad boyfriend of husband. That relationship is DONE. I LOVE being a non-smoker!!! Would never go back to smoking. I love not smoking more than I enjoyed smoking.  Joyful and Thankful to not be smoking. I don't miss it. 

Don't let Junkie thoughts or Nicodemon linger...KICK him to the curb. You have more power and he is a wimp now. He will not leave you alone until you let him know you have won. Kick his BUTT!!!

Gloria

Emancipated since 30 July 2018...How Sweet it is!!

Yeah it is slowly starting to make sense. The enjoyment I got from smoking I am getting from quitting. Everytime I dont give in my resolve get stronger and it is a pleasure not smoking. Like a new freedom I have been granted. Just have to stay vigilant. Many thanks 

Most things start to make sense when given some time. Glad you are doing well,  and also remaining vigilant. It’s worth it. I would not have accomplished what I did today if I were still smoking for sure. Actually ran for an hour and forty-two minutes. Yeah, there was also this sweet déjà vu feeling spurring me on and the music was good and the air here at least breathable, but, surely it was the not having been smoking as well.
Was actually quite tempted to eat some bacon after that. Left me hungry for sure. 
 

When I smoked I used to say " I wish i never started" . Now I have quit, in some strange way I am thankful for the experience of smoking and quitting. It is a good time in my life to be feeling optimistic and looking forward to future. If you scared of dying your scared of living. Music, exercise is the best. 

Mmmm. I agree with you. It is pointless to regret so many things. Best to look forward to a bright future and I’m happy you are optimistic! Though I said the same thing for a long time about “wishing I never started”. Now, it feels so good to have stopped while young enough to have hopefully a lot of living time left and be healthier for it. I’ve definitely gotten more from the experience of quitting than I did from the smoking.

Hard to imagine being afraid of living, yes? Life is certainly too short to ever be afraid to live it to the brim daily. Yes...music. Every day a beautiful song for sure. Except right now I am being kept awake by an Owl that is not known for his lovely voice, even if he is wise. Still, it is his song, and lovely in his way.

Well, today would have been my 7 month milestone but I had a day lost to smoking several cigarettes in a day in June and felt the right thing to do was to subtract a day and move that marker to the 24th. Oddly, today I am going with a friend out to her property for the first time since her narrow escape from the fires that are ravaging our state. She lost her home and barn and some of her creatures and is in need of someone to go with her now that it is safe to go there and she will be seeing it for the first time. I’m absolutely dreading this adventure today and feel very selfish even thinking about it being my original quit day. So much has been lost to the burning and there is still so much smoke of a different sort. I am most fearful of actually finding the remains of her one dog that she at the last minute had to leave behind. I know she is going there with hope to see him walk out of the haze as Peggy had said some creatures do. I’m writing with the very selfish hope that we at least don’t find his charred bones. Though maybe, like writing about memories of smoking, it would be good to do so as it would give her some closure...? I think I needed to write that out to bring me round to seeing this differently so I can be supportive for her today. It was your remark about writing and putting thoughts to bed so as to redirect focus where it is needed, so thank you. I think I can do this now. Without wanting to smoke. 

That's good. Sometimes writing out your thoughts makes it easier to process. Can imagine wanting to grab a smoke to dampen the emotions you might be feeling when embarking on a journey like that with a close friend. All credit to you. Keep the emotions raw and unpolluted and grounded in reality and your better for it. My partner used to always say I would hide behind my cigarettes when things got emotional. I find now it was just a false sense of security. Like a seat belt on a plane. I find emotional stuff easier now. Hope everything works out for your friend. Life is rough sometimes. Take care. 

Yes, life is rough at times. There are days that Nature leaves no choice with keeping emotions raw and grounded in reality. I wrote about it another thread so won’t bore you with it here. You are right, maybe better to face things head on rather than hide behind the veil of smoking, or maybe even not smoking. Your partner sounds wise. My friend will be ok in time. Thanks again.