About Smoking Cessation Forum

Hosted by Terry (abquitsmking)

Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

  • 4787
    MEMBERS
  • 265731
    MESSAGES
  • 55
    POSTS TODAY

Discussions

Day 17 - craving   Quit Support

Started Oct-19 by Jaka38; 2023 views.
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-19

I decided to make another post. Previous one is pretty full by now joy Actually don't know what is practice here. At some other forums it was suggested not to make chain that is too long. 

How is it going? Difficult question and depends when asked. Right now? Not so great. It's Monday morning which is heavy enough by itself. I really have difficulty working since my quit. I still get so restless and so unable to sit still. I move than, do som push ups ( btw didn't do that for ages so my chest hurts a lot), drink cold water, go out for a walk. Feel guilty after because I tell myself I should work. Can't get out of this cycle. What's going on? I think a part of my mind which is responsible for smoking wants to sabotage the part that wants to end this stupid thing once and for all. Massage: you are not fit to work without cigarettes.

Do I feel better? Is it easier? Yes and no. I'm definitely glad about direction I'm going. I don't want to smoke anymore. I also don't think about smoking all the time. There is no tendency to just go and buy. I know from previous quits that comes later. On the other hand it is this weird feeling that something is not in place, something is kind of off. This is accompanied with anxiety, fear, nervousness, pressure in chest (not from push ups). Those are the symptoms. 

Ok. I need to wait few more days. I mean at the end of the week it'll be 3 week for me. That's pretty amazing. What I am doing is really good for me, my health, wellbeing. It is. But why don't I feel that way? I guess junkie mind has still not recieved loud-and-clear that it is really over. He's still kicking and trying to sabotage other parts. The goal is to quiet junkie mind and eventually to make him a team player. I think I'm talking nonsense at this pointjoy

I'll make myself some food now. Maybe do some work later orelse read some more stuff. Wishing lovely craving-free day to all.

CC to Loreficent
In reply toRe: msg 1
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-19

Yes Jaka. You must give it at least the first three weeks. Only decision to make today that will make or break things is not to smoke. Focus on the good things. Maybe some music for you now if you can. Do you like tea? Chocolate? 
I know. At times it is going terrible. Here is a saying, not mine, but good: “If you are going through Hell, keep going!” 
I will check back and write more soon.

Please don’t let yourself be too discouraged. This is a very hard and real struggle. But the time will go by either way. Here is my saying: “You either wear time out or it will wear you out”. 

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-19

Thanks Lore. Love this quote, it's from Churchill i guess. I know, one more week to go, even less and it'll be 3 weeks.

In reply toRe: msg 3
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-19

Yes, they say it is. I’ve looked into it some and it seems maybe not? I have another one from me, which is: if you’re digging yourself into a hole, stop digging! Though maybe I heard that from my Mother a long time ago too... joy

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-19

Love this one, very down to earth joy

it's like this lately. I get really nervous in a mornig. Later on gets better, easier to manage. Let's see how tomorrow goes?

In reply toRe: msg 5
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-19

Yes! Always looking on the bright side of life, like the Monty Python song. Do you know this? Haha! 
I am same still. Morning is hard and late at night. Still. Definitely not anywhere near as bad though, so there is hope Jaka. Morning was my personal and quiet and alone time and I slowly woke up with smoking and coffee. I do sleep better now and feel better waking. 
I am often here in my late night, your morning. Sleep well and tomorrow is a new day to embrace.

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-19

Of course I know Life of Brian, it's so funny. Do you still find it hard in a morning though? How long are you smoke free btw?

Ok, I'm going to bad. Have a nice day as well wink

In reply toRe: msg 7
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-19

My quit day is February 24th. I had two missteps. One at about 3 weeks I think? Almost? And one day in June. Not since then though. Still the thought will be there in the morning, but, it’s hard to explain. Not like “I have to have one NOW!” more like, “Ohhh...Wouldn’t it be kind of nice if I had one....”. But it passes quickly for sure. Just a thought I’ve learned to accept may be there a while, so I wave hello, and let it go. It is that part that steps back and sees the other parts and at times frantically tries to keep it all together. That part waves hello and then I take a nice deep breath and carry on and hours later I remember. So...I think maybe acceptance of this will be there a while instead of struggle with it helps me a lot. Of course sometimes I feel like many pieces in disarray too! joy
You sleep, I am going for a run! 
Maybe I will watch Life of Brian tonight! Oh boy...yes, very funny!

  • Edited October 19, 2020 5:30 pm  by  Loreficent
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-20

I know, mornings are killers. I have one here right now. joy I'm also drinking coffee again. No so much as before. We'll see how that goes. It's good. 

OK, you were talking about missteps. Not that I'm planing them but how did you deal with them. That's my biggest nightmare because every time I had one in a past it lead me right back to full time smoking. Is it also about acceptance?

I had one quit a year long. First, there was one misstep at a month or so. Not big deal, I said. There were others followed quickly. So I convinced myself that it's Okay to smoke from time to time, as long as I don't go back to it full time. So I  was unconsciously increasing amount of cigarettes and frequency, searching for smokers to get some cigarettes,  doing all kinds of maneuvers. Had clear rule not to buy any though. When this initial year comes to the end I bought myself a pack and star smoking full time. That's crazy, isn't it. A frickin year. Like a well planed or prepared teather drama with screen play and all that comes with it. 

Do you see where I'm heading? That's my fear really as it happened every time in a past. I know it's unproductive to think about it now and plan ahead. That way I might do self fulfilling prophecy... You know what. I just noticed my mind thinking it wouldn't be that bad to have one now and than, tryingto rationalized potential missteps. Right now. This is hilarious but I guess there is no bypassing to this.

Since we were discussing quotes at some occasion, I checked for some more. All from Churchill, heh. I love his words, they sound so different compared to nowadays politicians. I know he was also a dickhead from time to time but still. Just compare to your current president's quotes joy

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.”

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference.”

“Everyone has his day, and some days last longer than others.”

“You have enemies? Good. It means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-20

Oh my gosh Jaka! You made my night. The cycle you describe almost had me in tears. First because of the way I totally relate to it and second because of how sad too that we do this! I know full well that fear of our filling our prophecy. So...right now, yes, you accept that this fear is there. You keep the awareness of it and keep writing about it. Get it out, just like you just did! It is true every time you don’t give in, you do gain a little ground. So then...you hold your ground for a while. Then this fear comes charging back again. And you acknowledge it again because it is real. But...it is also only a fear. It is just there, begging yes for you to act on it. Then you acknowledge again, use some more tools again, and so on. So, essentially we traded one struggle of smoking and deep down wanting to stop for the other struggle of staying stopped!! sob It is crazy making for a while! But, this time, you ARE stronger and more prepared and have support in the battle of us here. It is much better than fighting alone. Yeah, this will go on for a while. But now I have to think about this as you are right. How does this happen after a year?? This will be a lot of writing! sweat_smile 
I am also laughing very much about comparing the quotes from then to now. Oh my. I cannot start with what I want to say to this! speak_no_evil 
I will say, the last one here is my FAVORITE! Absolutely. 

TOP