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Day 21 - WEEK 3    Quit Support

Started Oct-23 by Jaka38; 11650 views.
NikaSuzi

From: NikaSuzi

Nov-7

Hi, Jaka ... well actually both of you; I fast-read through some of your debate here and it looks like you're having amazing times ... even when the going gets tough. So nice to see :) Will leave you to it, just one thing:

Jaka, about the facial tension: I used to have this A LOT; to the point where my head (scalp?) and face were hurting and my eyesight got really bad (no way I could drive some days). Went to many doctors, did countless self-diagnoses, ... but in the end realized it was all anxiety. Of course, the level of that also depends some on (quitting) smoking (for 2 years I was terrified of trying to quit again because I was afraid to feel that again) but it is not the main factor. Good news: It does get better. Completely gone now most of the time. Bad news: for me, it took years and a lot of work on my BS. What it basically is is muscles in and around the neck being so tense for so long that they compress the nerves leading to the face & scalp. And yes, in a sense, smoking does "help" that because it numbs /poisons you and it suppresses the initial cause of tension and discomfort (and also numbs the nerves from feeling the tension in the face). But on the other hand, it prevents you from feeling the pain. And only by feeling it, you know that sth. is wrong and you can address it and change it. (Huh, this sounds so smart now; basically what it was for me was 3 years of struggling most of the time and not quite knowing what I was doing.) Hope this helps; didn't mean to discourage you; it is a process but it also means it will pass.

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Nov-8

Thanks Nika for that. It totally makes sense since I do feel stress in neck as well sometimes. I also did feel this facial tensions even before when I was smoking. Not so intense though. It's really funny this condition. It's not really bad but slightly annoying. I guess it's in its persistence or what...

What do you mean by working on BS? I did try some grimace techniques but was never really consistent. To do something with my neck? Funny thing, I never connected it to my neck though...

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Nov-8

Oh I know what's BS now joy Lore told me. But rather not use curse words here. I was reminded about that by administrators twice joy 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Nov-8

Yes, Jaka, you cannot be too naughty on here! We don’t want you in jail!joyjoyjoy

I think the abbreviation is ok...? It lets us know the thought without using the words exactly. One cannot go to jail for thoughts alone I think! If this were true, I would likely have been in prison 4 years ago, writing to have someone bring me cigarettes on Sunday visits.scream Or at a minimum, the Secret Service would have a bracelet on my ankle. Maybe both ankles with my thoughts! joy Haha! My thoughts are slightly warmer today though, so perhaps I am spared extra jewelry! 
Portland 2°C. Ljubljana 9°C

CC to NikaSuzi
NikaSuzi

From: NikaSuzi

Nov-8

Oh dribbles, no one told me that in order to be here, I'd have to shake two of my favourite bad habits at the same time. I am still convinced cursing is good for you btw ... unlike smoking.

Jaka ... for me, the face thing was one of the main symptoms, and at the same time drivers/fuels of my anxiety. It kept getting worse, I didn't know what it was, I was terrified of it, it got even worse ... you get the picture. What helped was, surprise surprise, not to start smoking again (tried that more than once) but to really confront my issues and start getting my shingles together. I imagine/know it is a stressful time for you right now so just take it easy, at least on this front. Calm yourself by knowing it is nothing bad, it will pass ... actually what I did do physically to make it better was kind of intentional relaxation in the evening in bed (kind of like a bodyscan in meditation or sth. but really focusing on this part) and circular movement with my shoulders back and forth a few times whenever I thought of it. Oh ... and a lot of neck massage (to myself or by someone else).

CC to Jaka38
Msg 6251.113 deleted
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Nov-8

OMG just about peed my pants here laughing at how therapeutic cursing is!joy Right??? Nika...I think you are a Comrade in more ways than one. 
Im knee deep here at work, so can’t reply properly, but looking forward to a few days off and some glorious chit chat with you!

Are you close enough to bail Jaka out if needed??joyjoy

CC to Jaka38
NikaSuzi

From: NikaSuzi

Nov-8

Hahahaha, yep, don't worry. I have bags of cash lying around. :D

Since I am saving shiploads on not buying cigarettes, am on antibiotics so can not have a drink, and can not go out to eat because everything is closed ... I literally have no chance of spending money (ok, online shopping you say .... ah, so last week!). So maybe I should indeed start saving for bail ... either for one of my friends or for myself ... to plot some complicated con now that I have time (or just curse like crazy) and then bail myself out.

Hope work goes ok and ... yes, looking forward to a chat :)

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Nov-9

OMG!! I HATE DREAMS!

Despise the thrashing, sweating, clawing, clenching, pain, just absolute pain in my legs because they are trying so hard, so very hard to move but they can’t, but I’m very aware they are trying, so hard that I am awake with this pain, sharp and aching pain in my hips and knees and my head is throbbing! My heart is racing my jaw is stiff and sore and all my head is saying is wake up, begging to please wake up! But it goes on and on and on! Is this this dreamy while awake thing Jaka??? OMG. I just had this and it was the most awful terrifying experience! Trying so hard to get to work, checking my phone in my dream, unable to get to the page on phone to tell them I am late but is ok because my daughter made cookies and I am bringing them!! WTF???? Then I am driving...a pick up truck...what??? I do not have this, a pick up truck! But driving to return a refrigerator because the clock won’t work!! Yes!!! This is all very terrifying and stupid because my legs I am aware hurt so bad in this dream and I am driving and desperately, manic, trying to call work, saying in my head over and over how I am coming but I am late with cookies. Nothing, not once, not one puff, not one whiff, not one small swirl of smoke, not a store with cigarettes...none of this was in this dream! Not even smallest desperate thought when my heart was racing, knowing I am losing my job because they will fire me even if bring cookies and again my legs, telling them, MOVE MOVE MOVE! They did not move and they hurt and my head is over over and over again watching this and saying wake up! Wake up! Wake up! And I am so aware of it!! Then...and finally...and so so gratefully I wake up...THEN and NOW I want a cigarette!!! Dreams are the most awful thing the mind does to itself for me. Always they include this physical pain! Always! My legs hurt now from stiffness and clenching. Maybe I have a fever. 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Nov-9

Ljubljana 6°C.   Portland 2°C

I think if I read the weather my mind and heart will settle!joyjoyjoy

Maybe I will not go to sleep ever again, but the bright side is I won’t have painful stupid dreams either! Good gawd. If I had that every night I would gladly smoke to make it go away.

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