Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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Hello. Today is day 9 for me. I have smoked since high school and will be 50 next month. I stopped smoking both times I was pregnant-the first time for 27 months and the second time for 15 months and again 11 years ago for 10 months. Typing this I see that my stop time was shorter and shorter. I remember my dad saying the more times I started again, the more I smoked and the harder it was to stop. That echos in my head often.... I’ve mostly been a closet smoker and that is exhausting to only smoke with people I feel comfortable with and finding excuses to drive alone so I can smoke. I read something this morning that said you don’t love smoking, you love the immediate effects of smoking. That’s so true. The long term affects scare me. I have 4 grandchildren with the 5th due in 2 weeks. I want to be the fun and active grandma. Not the one that can’t breathe. You may notice I use the term stopping instead of quitting. I struggle with failure and I couple the word quit with failure so I choose to use the word stop. When I stopped I was smoking 4-5 cigarettes a day and maybe more if I drove anywhere 10 miles or more from home. I haven’t driven anywhere since I stopped besides work and home and that wasn’t a time I usually smoked. Wow, I was craving really bad when I started this post. With trying to keep my smoking a secret ( I went to extreme measures for this!!!) I don’t really have anyone to talk through the cravings with. This helped. I know I can stay stopped. I have to distract from the cravings and they will get less in time. The last time I started again was because I let a woman leave her smokes in my car and she forgot to take them when she got out.....”I’ll just have one right” Over the last 11 years I’ve had many 2-3 week periods of not smoking but for some reason always started again. Hopefully this time I stay stopped. I’m ready to take on day 9!! Thanks for reading.
Your story sounds similar to mine. I also started smoking in high school and quit when I got pregnant with my first snd stayed quit for ten years. I also was a more or less a closet smoker. I hate myself for taking that first drag almost twenty years ago that turned me back into a smoker. One of the stupidest things I’ve done ever! As recommended by this forum, I had that low dose ct scan of my lungs. It shows emphysema but I am not surprised. Years ago my pulmonologist told me that I’m right on the verge of COPD but I continued to smoke. Today is day 66 for me. I try to stay the course. I think of what will happen if I smoke and fear is a motivator. Congratulations on your day 9. Worst of the physical withdrawals are over. Now, as you know, is a fight with yourself. Good luck to you and congratulations!
I understand what you mean when you say, stopped smoking instead of quit smoking. There is a big difference! It took me forever to learn that.
I am also just finishing up day 9. What is the reason that you always start again?
Glad you are here with us!
Congratulations on being 66 days quit! You should be very proud of yourself!
I am also having health problems that are causing me to take quitting smoking more serious. Smoking is a slow form of suicide, the way I see it.
Congratulations on your stopping. One trick that I did especially when driving was, I bought a squeeze ball to leave in the car, and if I had the urge to smoke, would use that instead......and of course a lot of gum!
This is definitely a hard addiction to break, but it can be done! Stay close and read as much as possible! The more you are educated on the addiction, the understanding comes and the will power to just say enough is enough!
Breath deeply everyday and hold......time yourself and see how everyday it improves!
Mmmm...being a closet smoker is the worst! I was this too. Each day that goes by you feel so much better about yourself and really start to see how empowering it is to stop. Stay true to yourself and keep going. Post here when it gets hard and wait for 3 replies. You got this!
I feel like finally there isn’t something I’m hiding about myself. I always felt like some kind of pretender being a smoker. That guilt! So happy now that I don’t have to worry about how I smell or “what if they ask me got a ride?” I had to always have some excuse why they couldn’t get in my car, just I’m case. Thinking back to all the things I used to do to smoke and to hide that fact... it’s really mind boggling. This is what freedom is!!
I agree! In today's society smoking is not as popular, or accepted, as it was when I was young. When I was a teenager almost everyone I knew smoked. Today I don't even know anyone that smokes. Everyone I see has a cellphone in their hand instead of a cigarette. Yes, I have felt like an outcast for years. Used a lot of breath mints, kept my distance from others so they wouldn't smell my clothes and hair. I've always told myself that I don't care what others think about me, but down deep I really do.
I do not enjoy smoking! I am addicted to smoking! That's the real truth!
Congratulations on your 9 days! Judging from all the responses here somehow it comforts me to see others like myself that were mostly closeted smokers. That was part of my challenge not really having other smokers in my life to share this with and offer support to help me stop. As fate had it I found this site in late 2019 and quit smoking January 1, 2020. The support and writing things out here has definitely helped a lot! I was skeptical it would but much to my surprise it does.
Like some of the others here I would go to great lengths to hide smoking by not inviting people over to my house very often and really trying to plan ahead so I didn't smoke too close to when they arrived. I'm sure the house still had a bit of a smoke smell but nobody ever called me on it. Thankfully that is pretty much gone now. I didn't smoke in the car in recent years but I did smoke maybe 3 cigarettes in early December 2019 in the car and the other day I noticed when I got in I can still faintly smell it. It's nasty stuff.
I hope you are doing well and keep posting. It really helps!