About Smoking Cessation Forum

Hosted by Terry (abquitsmking)

Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

  • 5033
    MEMBERS
  • 272024
    MESSAGES
  • 15
    POSTS TODAY

Discussions

February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started Jan-31 by Terry (abquitsmking); 20153 views.
KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-16

Hi Suzy,

How has Week 2 started for you? Hopefully it will be a bit kinder than last week! I liked your comment that you’ve done a lot of really good not smoking :)

How are you finding the triggers/craves?

As it happens I do remember the Waltons - my mum used to watch it! Growing up I think there was too much emphasis on being a ‘happy’ family, any negative emotions were stuffed down which I now know is not healthy! It sounds like your job has given you a great attitude and approach to relating to others, and indeed I’m sure you are fabulous to talk to ;) When I was having a really tough time in my teens I would have loved it if someone had just asked me how I was and really listened! 

But yes when it’s your own family it’s a whole different ball game isn’t it. I wonder if therapists also find it hard with their own families?!

That’s lovely you shone your torch up in the sky for Sarah Everard. We also hardly saw anyone else and were really surprised, but I suppose a lot of people went to the vigil.

Our daughter is home for the week in quarantine after there was a covid case at her nursery. It’s nice having her home although tiring trying to fit work in around her. In the park today a raven flew down and stole a packet of rice cakes from our pram! We gave chase but he took it up a tree. My daughter kept saying ‘naughty birdy!’

Im so glad to be a help on your quit - you’re doing brilliantly and I really see you as a non-smoker :)

Seems like there’s a really nice gang of March quitters and supporters around on the forum just now.

Take care and speak soon,

Katie

4th March 2017 

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-16

Dear SYRRose,

Yes we HAVE got this!  We have already quit, and we are already non-smokers.  So (and this seems to be the really difficult bit relaxed) all we need to do now is remember why it's so precious and important, and to hold onto it with both hands.  Sometimes it'll be like clinging on to a rollercoaster when your harness has come undone, and sometimes it'll be like cradling a beautiful sleeping baby. But either way, holding on is much the bestoption!

Glad you're here, and please let's keep plodding on through this together, arm in arm.  It'll get easier.

Suzy 

SYRRose

From: SYRRose

Mar-16

Thanks Suzy! Day 5 and it’s been up and down but I haven’t smoked. Coughed less today as well. Just ate way too much! I’m giving myself a break this week. 
 

we are NON SMOKERS! Good job!!! 
 

rose 

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-16

Hi Katie,

Well I used to be the most determined smoker I knew and now I'm the most determined NON smoker I know.  I'd love to be more measured about things, but I'm starting to think I might be a bit 'all or nothing' (which seems to be quite tiring for everyone, me included).  When I smoked I think I was better at hiding my flaws - I had an excuse to get away and mutter quietly whilst dragging on my filthy ####, but at the start of Week 2 I seem to be speaking my mind at more or less the the same time as losing it (when people say "be yourself" I am pretty sure they don't mean "be irritable, needy and obnoxious").   I am hoping - as is my patient and wonderful partner Mike - that this is a temporary thing, and I do remember feeling like this at the start of a long quit a few years ago. This gives me hope that it WILL all be ok, but at the moment I feel like a bit of a loose cannon.

Lovely that you remember the Waltons, and I'm sure you're right - 'bad' emotions were discouraged on TV and in life, and certainly in my family.  It's not a great recipe for health, is it?  As for therapists finding it hard with their own families, I think you're right there too.  I worked with a GP the other day on medical student exams.  I've known her on and off for years through work (and thought of her as supremely calm and unflappable), but literally all she could talk about in the breaks between students was how awful home-schooling had been and what a miracle it was that she hadn't punched - or worse - the kids or her husband. 

Listening is a hard thing to learn - we all want to put our two penn'orth in, especially if we feel attacked and then get defensive. One of the facilitators on the courses I work on puts it really simply, that most of us have two eyes, two ears, one mouth - and that it would be a fine idea if we used them in proportion!  Not many of us do that, I think.  

I'm really sad that you didn't feel properly listened to when you needed it, though.  I didn't listen properly to my son - I'd been brought up with a kind of benign neglect, and just kind of imagined that that was how it was done and that everything would be ok.  When I look back now, though, the signs that he was asking for help were there - I was focused on outward signals of 'happiness' and achievement and they were all good, and I just didn't ask the right questions.  

It sounds as if you're coping really well with balancing work and childcare.  I've been self-employed most of my working life so it was much easier for me - I still needed help though - but I'm hoping that employers have had to get a bit more flexible over the past year?  What is it that you do, if you're happy to say, and have you been looked after properly?  I hope so.  I do know a lot of people who've fallen through the holes in the Government's safety nets - we did too, a year ago, but we've now registered as a business which means we've qualified for help for the later lockdowns.  We would have gone bust without it.

I'm very sorry to hear about the pram theft (naughty birdy indeed!!) but I have to admit that I love ravens and crows. I know they're dreadful and destructive, but they're just so clever, so bouncy, and actually so family-orientated.   I love seagulls too - which probably puts me in a minority down here in Holidayville - but I can't help that either.  They are so extraordinarily adaptable, and such consummate fliers too.  I had a seagull steal my pasty once (how Devon is that?), and with the crumbs that were left in the greasy paper bag I made friends with Mister Crow, who I think STILL actually recognises me when I walk on the beach.  Ok, I might be kidding myself there, but I'm a newbie non-smoker so maybe you just have to say 'there there' and humour me? wink

Actually, it's enough that you see me as a non-smoker - I found that really powerful and inspiring, and I might even be getting to the point where I think of myself as a non-smoker too,  rather than a recent quitter.  It's definitely feeling easier now that Hell Week - and toothache - have passed, and you're right, there seem to be some other March quitters now.  It's lovely to talk to people at the same stage, but please don't go away - you and four years are really inspiring!   Can you remember what you liked about smoking, and/or why you thought it was a good idea at the time?   Also, what changed your mind?

Please don't feel you need to reply in a hurry, though - I'm here every spare minute because I'm in the early stages of quitting, but you've got lots of other stuff on, I know, and you've also done this already.   But in the meantime, thank you so very much for being there and helping me, and I don't think I could have have done it without you.

Suzy x

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-16

Well done, Rose!   Day 5 and you're already coughing less - what a wonderful sign that your body is feeling better and healing itself.  

I have also eaten too much today - lately I've been planning healthy meals (and actually losing weight!) but I had to work today and it all fell by the wayside.  And once it fell, it really plummeted - I had chips and then I thought, well if I'm having those I really need some mayonnaise, and THEN I thought, well, if I'm eating fried potatoes and mayonnaise I may as well wash it down with a glass or two of wine or, hey, maybe even the whole bottle because after all it's quite moreish, and I'm pretty sure there's some chocolate somewhere too...

A disaster of a day, diet-wise.   I'm not even sure I want to get on the scales tomorrow, because I doubt they'll be telling me anything I want to hear.  But I didn't smoke, and that really is the main thing.  I can adjust the diet tomorrow, but if I'd smoked, it would be much harder (if not impossible) to adjust THAT. 

I'm glad you're giving yourself a break - right now, staying smoke-free is the only important thing, and good job you too!

Suzy  

Cazza2468

From: Cazza2468

Mar-16

Hi Suzy

falling off the diet wagon is ok for while. Can’t have too many balls in the air at one time!  I need to get on that wagon that’s heading to the ‘cut down on the wine’ depot.  It very hard.  Even after a year I look forward to a little hit at the end of the day. I think it’s my reward for another day of not smoking.  I think you could cut yourself some slac for at least the first 3 months. Of course upping the exercise is always a good idea ha ha 

You must be 9 days now. Double figures about to engulf you.  You are a hero

caz

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-17

Appreciate you coming back every now and then to offer your wisdom...Rrrr exercise have not being doing well in that department for the last week, reason being My orthotics were being fitted for new shoes, got them back yesterday so now there is no excuse... Congratulations on your firm grip on your quit, hope it rubs off...

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-17

Well done on your quit so far...love that you are so determined so early in your quit... must be double figures now... 

Cheers

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-17

Hi Rose,

Congratulations on your quit, five days is great...

SYRRose

From: SYRRose

Mar-17

Thank you so much! Hope your quit journey is going well. 

TOP