Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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My pleasure Lori,
Good morning Anthony!
You must be getting very excited and maybe a bit nervous too. I’m so happy for you and proud of you! Someone wrote here that they had read about hip replacements being one of this most gratifying and life changing procedures that one can have done. I have heard and seen the same thing. Will be a bit tough the first few days but in no time at all you will be up and fully at ‘em and I bet with such great relief and no regrets! Aren’t you so happy you will get that new lease as a non smoker? It truly will make a difference with your improved lung capacity and the new hip!! You will be dancing circles around and about! I may have to hop a plane and come dance with you!! I really am excited for you Anthony. I will never forget your calm interception early on in my quit when I put out an SOS once. You wrote “I’m here, you’re not alone”. Though I don’t know you, I swear, I could hear your voice and this wave of relaxation and calm and rationale came over me. I’m telling you...that posting before smoking really does work. I wish I would see folks do it more prior to smoking instead of after. I also know I’m guilty of that too, so I say that with no judgment. I also know, that in the moment I caved, I allowed the junkie a bit more room on the dance floor than I ought to have and there was a little voice in my head planning and scheming and I just did not stand up to it. If I would have mustered the strength from my wise mind even to come and post first, well, it likely would not have happened. So for all reading this, if you do nothing else through this quit, make the commitment to yourself, truly commit that you will come here first and wait. Maybe I’ll write that in the NOPE pledge today too.
Anyway...got sidetracked. My good energy is coming now to fill your week Anthony with lots of love and well wishes and protective spirit these days before for you. You will be fine and I’m much less worried since you have this past month of your quit to empower and strengthen you too!!!
Where abouts is your photographer friend from here? Has he been gone some time and living there now, or just visiting Down Under? I spent some time out under that gorgeous Worm Moon last night and it was incredibly renewing.
Lovely to get a glimpse of your handsome buoy (haha see what I did there) and the excellent lettering! You must have a steady hand.
CONGRATULATIONS on 3 weeks!!
That’s some good smoke-free time you’ve got under your belt. Proud of you! How is it feeling at the moment?
That’s great Mike has just quit too, means you can really get the smoke out of your lives. Yes there will be triggers to come but they do fade as you overwrite them with new associations. Each time one pops up just smile to yourself and say ‘I don’t do that anymore’.
My swim this morning was wonderful - just so nice to be back at the lido, everyone looking so happy. It’s a lovely 1930s lido, 50m, with lots of space around it (where we now get changed as we’re not allowed to use the changing rooms). I only managed 4 lengths as it was 9 degrees and did feel quite a shock after such a long break. Looking forward to going again tomorrow!
My daughter is all better thanks - she does tend to bounce back quickly and was full of beans today. One of her favourite games at the moment is to chuck something on the floor (her pooh bear, a packet of tissues or whatever) and then exclaim ‘poor pooh bear!’ or ‘poor packet!’
I’m feeling a bit ambivalent about the end of lockdown - how about you? Seeing lots of people meeting in the park suddenly made me feel like I should be arranging to see people, but I don’t know if I want to. I think I’m just a creature of habit and it takes me a while to find my new routine when the rules change...
Ok, going to read my book a bit now.
Hope your week is off to a great start Suzy.
Quit 4th March 2017
I know so little about the USA! I can place most states on a map, more or less, but I have no idea of what constitutes the upper Midwest. Wyoming? Nebraska? Iowa? Please tell me more. My best friend's brother lives in Georgia (Savannah) and loves it. I've always been a little bit tempted by Tennessee, myself - Nashville in particular, where I become (in my dreams) an overnight country singing sensation. I might have left that a bit late, but hey - and also Louisiana, because I like prawns and I can speak French. Yes, it really is that simple and shallow.
I can understand you wanting to visit Bath - wonderful buildings and lots of Roman history - but why Halifax? It's not generally on the tourist trail, but maybe you know more than I do? As for Ireland, I want to go there too and can't quite believe I never have, given how close it is. Maybe we will meet up there one day!
As for narrow-mindedness, I think things have got a whole lot worse here since the referendum of 2016 where we decided to leave the EU. The Leave campaign mostly focused on anti-immigration, and hate crimes went up almost immediately afterwards and have stayed high ever since; I think we've become a lot less tolerant and more inward-looking, and I find it very sad.
Glad your interruption was so nice - it's great to find people you can really talk with about things that matter to you. I lived in France from 97-99 and loved the culture and the people, but ultimately I really struggled with not being able to express myself fully. I could get by in most practical situations, but there was no nuance or philosophy. Jokes too were a problem - I went to the cinema to see a comedy, and laughed at least 20 seconds after everyone else did. I never went again.
Thanks for the encouragement, Lore - it really does help - and hope you're having a good day too.
Thanks for the photo Anthony - another absolute stunner - and really glad to here that the pre-op checks are going well. Lovely that you got to see your friend too. Stay strong and smoke-free, my friend - this really is worth it!
Haha, yes I did see what you did there and my buoy is indeed very 'ansum (as we say here in Devon). As for having a steady hand, well if you look very closely you might see the shadow of my first attempt, post gin, in red ballpoint pen. Some things really are best done sober!
Thank you for the fanfare and the congratulations. Three weeks must seem like small potatoes to you, so thank you even more for remembering how hard it can be sometimes and for taking the time to cheer us all on. You have made a huge difference to my motivation, and I'm not sure I'd be here bowing and basking in the praise if it hadn't been for you. Thank you.
So glad your swim was wonderful, and I think four lengths in nine degrees is amazing. Nine degrees?? That's only slightly warmer than a fridge!
Very glad too that your daughter is feeling better and making you smile. I can imagine you saying 'Poor mummy!' when you have to pick everything up, but even if you're too patient for that, she is learning empathy with every throw. It's lovely to visualise, and how wonderful it is that words on a page can so transport us.
Oh yes, end of lockdown ambivalence - it IS a real thing and I definitely have it too. I was going to do so many things during it (like writing my bestseller-to-be - which I've been planning for about 20 years), and even though I haven't done it yet I feel sure that if I just had a bit more time... I do also feel quite comfortable with a smaller, cosier, less sociable life. I've enjoyed spending more time with Mike, cooking, reading, watching telly, and just not having to plan ahead so much. I know a lot of people's circumstances are different and it's been a struggle, but there really is a lot that I'll miss.
Hope you have a good week too, and that you don't have The Fear tomorrow!
Good evening Suzy!
Well, if you can place most states on a map you are doing as well as or even better than many who live here!
The Upper Midwest would include Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, and Illinois. Some would include North and South Dakota in that as well, but some would argue about it. Wyoming is definitely the West. Nebraska I believe would just be Midwest. Same as Iowa. I grew up in Michigan. Beautiful state that I don’t miss at all.
Savannah is fabulous! I’ve been there a lot and love it. One of my favorite places in the South is there, the Bonaventure Cemetery. I love the Wildlife Refuge that is close too. I love there are Alligators in the wild in this country for some reason, lol. The Spanish Moss, the swamps, its very interesting to visit for sure, the South is. I think you would be struck by the...shall I say economic disparity you would see all over the country, but in the South in particular.
Mmmmm. Leaving the EU. I can’t speak a lot to how that is for folks, obviously, but I can tell you it saddened me to see it happen. Yes, I know the movement you speak of and the intolerance, and well, frankly, it’s awful. We have the same thing here as you likely know. Hate crimes on the rise. Ugh. Honestly, it is one of the reasons I’d like to leave. Permanently. Where I am now is definitely the last stop for me and I don’t think I could live anywhere else here except possibly Seattle again, maybe parts of California. I’m trying to be careful as I don’t want to start any controversy. Goodness knows that is easily done nowadays!
I will write more soon. Right now we just had our dinner delivered and I’m quite hungry! I want to know so much more about France! And I will explain my desire to go to Halifax.
Ok...back now and will be lazy and just continue. First, I know very little about Halifax, UK, but have been to Halifax, Nova Scotia. I like the name and I like places that are not the big tourist attraction areas. I don’t know much about it really other than watching the Netflix show “Last Tango In Halifax” which I realize was filmed a variety of some places around there, but the countryside is stunning in that whole program. Every time I watch it I drift off and can imagine driving around that countryside. So, no really good reason. Not even as close as your reasons for Louisiana! I like to go places and mix in with the people and learn about way of life there.
So, I’m not totally clear on your time in France. Do you mean not express yourself fully because you felt culturally you didn’t fit in? I’m not familiar much with French humor either. Not like British humor which becomes somewhat familiar through shows that are popular here anyway.
Also, every person I’ve spoken with from England so far has not been to Ireland! Why is that? It is so close. But, I guess we have the same thing here, really. Plenty of people I know have seen more of other countries than our own and it seems travel or holidays don’t often involve somewhere close. Or is it the weather? What is the weather like where you are? When I lived in Seattle I had some friends from England and they always said they felt right at home with the grey and rain. Is your area more sunny? Maybe that is hard to answer!
Well...yes. Meeting up in Ireland certainly sounds fun! I would definitely be game. I will keep you posted about my next Spring plans.
My pleasure on the encouragement Suzy. It also keeps me mindful of the struggle. I don’t want to become complacent with my quit. Have some fears around it really. Plus...it’s just good to talk with you!
Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday! Did you do any special thing to celebrate the 3 weeks?
Hi Lore, and thanks for clearing up my confusion over West and Mid-West. I'm surprised Ohio and Michigan are Upper Mid-West though - they kind of look more Upper Central-East to me, and Michigan is surely almost in Canada? You would know much better than I do, of course! I think I'd love the Lakes, but I wouldn't be so keen on the cold.
I haven't seen Last Tango in Halifax - I remember hearing good things about it though, and will look it up. I also like to meet real people when travelling rather than just go to the tourist traps (although I do like nice hotels and restaurants too!) This last winter just gone, Mike and I were going to travel in the campervan and do a bit of volunteering, but Covid put paid to that idea. Maybe this year. There's a fantastic website called Workaway which matches volunteers with hosts. My son did three weeks on a French smallholding a few years ago - it sounded like really hard work physically but it seemed to do him a lot of good mentally. Animals, fresh air and exercise are very good for the soul, I think.
Re. France, the difficulty in expressing myself was nothing to do with the people or the culture - it was entirely a language barrier, and when I said I can speak French, what I really meant was that I can speak a sort of French. I can get by, but I don't have the vocabulary to discuss life, the universe and everything.
I remember feeling at home with Seattle weather too. It's marginally sunnier here in the South West than in the rest of the UK, but it still seems to rain quite enough!
Talk soon I hope, and thanks again for being there.
Good luck with the op, Anthony - I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to seeing you here soon.