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Kristin's Quit Story   Quit Stories and Journals

Started Apr-20 by Kristin1996; 231 views.
Kristin1996

From: Kristin1996

Apr-20

Hi everyone, 

My name is Kristin and I am 24 years old, I have been smoking since I was 21. I know 3 years of smoking is nothing compared to other stories, but I really want to get ahead of this addiction and quit while I am still young. In the past year it was mostly cigarettes, but before that, I was highly highly addicted to the juul, smoking 1-2 pods a day, it was terrible. I have tried to quit maybe 50 times and have been able to go multiple weeks at a time without it but then always cave around 2 weeks or when I feel extremely anxious. 

Today is day 35 for me without nicotine which is the longest I have ever gone, but for me it just isn't getting easier. Today I was extremely close to leaving my work to go buy a pack but forced myself to look in the mirror and say no and then write down why I don't want to get back into it. I honestly miss it, I miss it driving to work, on my lunch break and the thing I would look forward to once the work day ended. 

I never thought my addiction to this chemical would become so bad that I would be on a forum, I always thought my mind was stronger than that where I can start and stop as I please. I need help on how to stop missing it, how do I convince my mind that there is nothing to miss and to stop thinking about it constantly? 

I am quite literally driving myself mad. Oh and I am a closet smoker, there is not one person who knows I still smoke and am struggling to quit each day so I feel like I am doing this alone because I am too ashamed to admit I didn't quit until very recently. 

Any help or suggestions you may have would be amazing. 

-Kristin

blackbird912

From: blackbird912

Apr-20

Huge congrats on day 35!!!
Hello fellow closet smoker!  And now you are a recovering closet smoker!!   Don’t feel bad and especially do not feel ashamed.  You did not know you could possibly get THAT addicted, nobody ever thinks they will EVER get addicted..  Nobody knows about addiction better than addicts.  For the record I have been a closet smoker for the past 15 years, at least.  I have quit a hundred times!   The only thing that draws me back to smoking is that first puff.
I am on day 11.  Yippee!!   I have decided to take on each new day.  I am not going to promise I won’t smoke again because I have quit so many times I don’t honestly know if I can recover.  
I hope you like it here.  I have gotten some really great guidance and support in just a brief amount of time.  
 

I look forward to chatting with you more!nEnjoy your evening.
Chris

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Apr-25

Hi Kristin,

Congratulations on your quit! It’s never too late to quit and it’s never too early either :)

It’s early days but things WILL get easier the more time you put between you and that last cigarette. It’s great you could look in the mirror and fight that crave. Maybe for now just try to accept that you miss smoking at those times of the day when you were used to having them and maybe try and switch up your routine eg a walk in your lunch break? As addicts we have to rewire our brains to get free from all the old associations, it takes time to heal but it does happen.

Take it one day at a time. There are lots of good articles on this forum that can help strengthen your quit so I’d recommend lots of reading.

Wishing you all the best,

Katie

Quit 4th March 2017

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Apr-27

Hi Kristin,

I would reinforce what Katie said about reading the quit info on this site so that you can educate your mind on the pitfalls of smoking, then you can arm your self talk to refute all all attempts by your mind to sabotage your quit.  if that makes sense?

Congratulations on your quit of 35 days, you must be strong  to have lasted this long without support, and congratulations on taking this initiative while you are so young.

Kind regards

Anthony

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