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What makes you start back smoking?   Introductions/Newcomers Nook

Started May-8 by Fearit2021; 968 views.
Fearit2021

From: Fearit2021

May-8

I still haven't quit smoking, and have tried to spend time today reading here. 

One of the things I see a lot of is people who have quit, sometimes for what I think is a good amount of time- a week, a month, 3 months, etc (which I would be elated to be at that point). Then, they start back up again. 

I'd really appreciate if many of you who have quit and started back up, especially repeatedly- would let me know what caused you to do so after getting through what I would think was the hardest part? 

Was it not-so-hard for you to make it through that first week or month? 

Hard or not, when you tried to quit again (whether succeeded or not), was the next time as hard as the first? Not as hard?

I only want to go through this once and want to write a list to hang different places of the things that trigger the urge being so strong that you went back to smoking. It's something I can even take to work with me.

I have to say, this is the best place I have found over years of looking, to even give me a small ray of hope that I WILL do this.

What an awesome group of people!

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

May-9

So speaking for only myself it was the thought that I could have just a puff or one cig. This was the junky thinking. Every time I did this I spent the days plotting how to get another. Who do I know that smokes? Can I casually run into them? (This was at work) then eventually the plotting was TOO MUCH, so I broke down and bought my own. 
 

After I found this forum and read and understood that I was an addict and that I CANT HAVE one Puff Ever! I didn’t have that notion to smoke as I did in past quits.

Yes I definitely had the craves, and I nearly lost it about  4 or 5months in. I had such the desire.....I had the cigarette in my mouth and the lighter ready to light it. I finally talked myself off the ledge, got on here and posted. Then jumped in the shower! This was the hardest day that really stuck with me. I had something to do, went and did it.....came home and took a LONG NAP! I woke up and felt better (not great) but I got through that day, everyone here was VERY VERY SUPPORTIVE AND HELPFUL. In my past quits I didn’t have the support I needed and met people that was in the ahead of me and around the same quit date here and we connected! 
 

So I know you are scared......it is like losing a friend.  But if you had a friend that repeatedly poisoned your food slowly and YOU KNEW THIS, would you eat the food?

Fearit2021

From: Fearit2021

May-9

Thank you for the reply. The fact that you were 4-5 months in makes it even scarier, I think- that the urge could be so strong after that much time! Was there something in particular that made that day worse than others, that you came so close?

I justify my smoking in that it's the only thing I "waste" money on. I don't go out- ever. Just the local store and to get gas and cigarettes. I don't eat at restaurants, etc. I'm a minimalist, so don't spend money on something I don't need, just consumables and necessities. I guess I could say it's the only enjoyment I have, though I am to a point I don't really enjoy it anymore.

Since I just bought cigarettes Thursday, my mind is back in the want to quit mode. But I am seeing a pattern that once I start getting low on packs, I start doubting the decision to quit, or maybe I doubt simply that I can quit.

Yes- I'm scared! It feels so stupid to be scared. So many people have quit and lived through it. lol 

I think to myself that if I only had to endure withdrawal of it all for say, a week- I know I could do it. But to think this takes so long to get over is frightening. 

Again, thanks for your post!

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

May-9

To answer the question about my almost relapse, there was nothing going on except the pandemic and being stuck in my home. But I don’t think they were a factor. My good friend on here has had 3 people in her life pass away that were very close to her, she could’ve thrown in the towel but she persevered and is now One year smoke free! 
 

You are justifying your spending money on something that kills you? Hmmmmm. Until you are admit that your an addict to yourself and others....you will ALWAYS find a reason to smoke. 
 

Make up your mind to quit soon. Doesn’t matter how many smokes you have. If you justify that it’s the “only money you waste,” then it doesn’t matter if you EVER SMOKE THEM. You can actually throw them away! 
 

So decide if you want to be a survivor or a a prisoner! I wish you the best! I hope I haven’t been to blunt, but I am known for that.....  I apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way. 
 

But do this for YOURSELF, it really really is a life saver in many many different ways! 
 

Eve 1/30/2020

oxanquits

From: oxanquits

May-9

Hi, your message reminded me about another discussion which happened on here about future tripping: https://forums.delphiforums.com/quit_smoking/messages/6476/261

please read it because I can't explain better.  You're not alone, it happens one day/hour/minute at a time to everyone and the fact that someone slips doesn't mean the same will happen to you. Even if it happens you will learn a lot from it, and there is nothing to be scared or ashamed of. You do it until it's done! There are a lot of people on here who are quit for 1, 5 or 10+ year, pay attention to their example too, although they probably don't post much anymore, but there are such people.

I would suggest you to give it a try, unfortunately it seems rare to quit from the first time.. but if you really want to (and I can see you do) you can be the one.

Being minimalist is a great lifestyle, if you can live without consuming services everyone can't live without - you as well are well prepared to survive without cigarettes. Can you think of something you can spend money on (preferably nothing high in calories), which gives you enjoyment? You can use it as a reward for a smoke free day/week/month. You would spend money on cigs anyway so you don't lose anything, but you can gain some new experience or feelings if you do something new instead and it will make your quit more sticky.

I forgot to add the answer to the main question: I quit for 1 week-1 month usually, before I post on forum, and always the reason I started to smoke was stress I thought I experienced (like some problem of my family member, or something unpleasant happened to me, or just a trip - I used to smoke on the road, because I find it stressful). Those were triggers which would make me smoke easily, always. But now I can see I allowed those situations to make me want to smoke, it was justification which I accepted "yes, in this situation it is ok to smoke". Look for those triggers while you prepare, and imagine how you don't smoke when this trigger appears, do whatever it takes, cancel appointment, go to sleep earlier. etc. At least at the beginning.

Fearit2021

From: Fearit2021

May-9

Oh, I know I am addicted. And I don't mind blunt at all. It's better than misunderstanding what someone is trying to tell you because they tip toed around a subject, and I appreciate bluntness. 

I should have used Justify in a past tense, as now, I would like to stash the money and get new carpet in my house and more money in my savings and that goal could be met very easily if I quit smoking. 

Maybe a list of possible triggers isn't such a good idea since an urge could hit with no trigger at all and I have to concentrate more on dealing with urges than what triggers them!

Thanks for the reply!

boylant22

From: boylant22

Jun-2

Hi there!  I have tried to follow along with some trying to get ready to take this journey and was thinking about you and wondering if you have quit or set a date?

gkim

From: gkim

Jun-6

May I say that you definitely want to quit or you wouldn’t be on this site reading these discussions. There’s never the right time but there will come A TIME when you just had enough. I hope that time will be sooner than later. 
I was also so afraid to quit. I thought what would I do if I can’t smoke. Let me tell you - so much freedom not smoking. I used to stress about when I can have my next smoke, which was usually pretty much right after the one I was smoking. There’s no winning in smoking. We all know where it will lead. 
I just hit seven months smoke free. It’s short of a miracle. I still get that urge off and on but no way in hell will I give up my seven months. I think about what smoking will eventually lead to - cancer or walking around with an oxygen tank. No thanks. That’s what keeps me from going back. 
I hope you will bite the billet and quit! You are stronger than you think!

Fearit2021

From: Fearit2021

Jun-6

I haven't quit yet and I haven't set a quit date. Although I've read over and over about setting a quit date, that part hadn't even crossed my mind, really. I just figured when I quit, I will just run out of cigarettes and not buy more. 

I know there's always excuses to wait and I have plenty of them. The last 10 days or so have been uncomfortable and things are coming up in another week that have raised my anxiety pretty high. 

I haven't not quit because of it, but the upcoming will certainly put me in a position to need every bit of strength I have to not go back to smoking during that week. 

I keep pretty busy at my job and hardly smoke at all there because my mind and hands are busy. The week of the 14th, I will be "not busy at all" per se, so I have already decided quitting is off the table until the following week. 

I have been wanting to do a lot of reading and get to watching those videos and there simply hasn't been time, or if I did, I would fall asleep sitting here watching them because of exhaustion. 

With that said, the week of the 14th, though I am sure I will be smoking that week, I will have time, as I will be at home for the week, for the most part. I'll do the work in between sleep breaks. 

I have been practicing different things. An example-  I smoked while driving. I don't now, just in the last 3 weeks. To me, that is an accomplishment.

I would like to know, though, when I do quit- what to do with the action of smoking that I won't have anymore?  What to do with my hands? Twirling a pen just doesn't get it. I don't want to replace smoking with eating, but think I am doing that already. I am smoking significantly less, but eating significantly more. If it's crunchy- it's sort of satisfying. But then, I have a cigarette. So, AFTER eating is a hard one as to what to do. 

Replacing a bad habit with a good habit- something to do with my hands. I don't know if the hand to mouth is part of the situation or not-yet. 

I had mentioned possibly going back on the chantix, and though I still have some here, the Dr advised against it.

I've thought about the mini nicotine lozenges, and have those as well, but would really like to do cold turkey, as I know people can have a hard time getting off of the lozenges/gum as well.  I will have them handy though, just in case I feel like I just can't go one more minute without buying cigarettes.  They are expired, so it should be a lovely experience.  relaxed

I appreciate the message from gkim as well. The words make me feel hopeful. 

The biggest freedom from smoking for me will be not worrying about if I have enough cigarettes to last till I can get them again. They are an unusual brand and not many places carry them. The other freedom will be the money saved, as they are at 105.00 a carton right now. All of the things I can save that money for! And, I know I can't retire unless I quit because my income would be way too low. 

I find it amazing, the power of cigarettes and the mindset. I can honestly say that if I were in the desert and had a choice between water and a cigarette, it would be a hard decision, I think. That's pretty pathetic!

The prison of keeping my physical distance from people because I am afraid I smell like smoke is another positive point. 

I had the light bulb moment that smoking the cigarette doesn't really do anything because the wanting of another one is going to come back again and again, so what am I fixing by smoking that cigarette. Like gkim said, thinking about when you can have your next cigarette, pretty much right after the one being smoked, though I am not really a chain smoker, I sure understand that! 

I'm still very scared of failing at it. I need to read on the tools for the physical part of the addiction, the action of smoking. I'm pretty sick of inhaling the smoke and the taste isn't so great anymore, either. 

Lubbercat

From: Lubbercat

Jun-8

Hi, haven't been on here for the past week because I slipped again after being quit for 4 weeks.  This time, it was anger that got the best of me!  Normally it is the want/need for time to talk to my spouse who smokes, or it is because I am out with friends that are smoking and feel left out..........it is always something!

I really think that having a plan for when different triggers happen is the key.  One of the hardest things to learn in quitting is new ways to deal with different situations.  For the most part, I always found the quitting easier then trying to mentally prepare for quitting.  That being said, I do try to change my routine when I am new in a quit........Having a "routine" set up so that I have something to do in the morning instead of going out to quit seems to be huge for me!  Once I get to work, I don't normally smoke there anyways.

Let us know when you plan to start your quit.  You will get lots of support on here

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