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September 2021 Ex-Smokers    Quit Buddies Unite

Started Sep-3 by slowblumer; 18853 views.
Diana (DianaSaigo)

From: Diana (DianaSaigo)

Sep-29

Was getting worried about you!  Glad to see you are still fighting the good fight!

Diana

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Sep-29

Dear Diana,

No need to worry, my nickname is the 'comeback kid' lol, thanks for replying, I have just been for my walk (6Km) and feel a lot better now I ran into my quit smoking counsellor and she said she would follow me up soon and that I could ring up anytime while she's at work, so that's a relief, I'm not getting any support at home (smoker) because I have refused to buy her cigarettes. Oh well, hope she gets over it real soon. Any way it's only 0815 Hours here and all I have is a Grow commitment today 12 Step program, the piece of program I am using is "We grew inattentive to God's presence and natural order in our lives" and how that relates is to my way of thing if he is the master designer of our lives, and we are made in God's image I couldn't imagine him wanting to kill us prematurely. Cigarettes are EVIL.

Sorry to get so serious, but can you see where I am coming from?

Kind regards

Anthony

Diana (DianaSaigo)

From: Diana (DianaSaigo)

Sep-29

Hey there!

You have to do what you feel works for you!  I am pagan...so think quite a bit differently about that!   That being said...everyone is on a journey in life...if your path includes a 12 step program...and God...then great!  it has worked for tons of folks!  

hmmmm...not sure about the Mrs situation...I believe quitting smoking is a very personal decision...that cant be forced...or coerced...but I also look at it from a junkie situation...and go well, i will stop enabling this person..am sure what you thought was hell before as she smoked like a chimney around you...is bound to get worse...as we women tend to do the opposite of anything...when we are being stubborn...just saying..

are you going to do the pledges?  cause in my quest to create a new me...kinda been shutting my computer off...lol...been used to you doing them!  i will do tomorrow now...since in your part of the world it is tomorrow

BigBoz4him

From: BigBoz4him

Sep-30

Well I have already slipped. As ashamed as I am to admit that. I should, and will expose to you, and this group, the main reason I have for smoking, despite the knowledge and plans I have to associate with the deep need to quit nicotine.  It is my wife. When we fight, which we do often, it makes me so distressed, depressed, angry, and out of control that I continue to go back to self destruction of drinking and nicotine. Before this recent attempt to quit smoking I had created another section of plan that I failed to mention to you.  It is an emergency plan to escape from her at any possible time.  This is a gym membership I got to 24 hour fitness. I also packed everything in my truck for mountain biking as these are two things that I love to do and I thought it would be a healthy way to handle my stress. The problem I am having is that this stress is not intermittent, it is continuous. It lasts several days and I carry it with me everywhere I go. I have read and watched several videos to try and combat this, mainly focusing on the topics of stress relief and how to not let things bother you.  Its funny because I will be feeling so healthy physically and mentally when I quit but then she is mean to me and my psychological health deteriorates immediately and stays that way for days. I know how important it is to avoid triggers and have plans to combat them but I am at the point to where I truly believe that with her I will never quit.  Any ideas??   I am however going to attempt a quit again on 10-1-2021. I could write a novel on the reasons I want to quit. Please help me. 

Dipo (diposs)

From: Dipo (diposs)

Sep-30

Hi BB, 

No worries and don't be too hard on yourself. I think its great that you admitted relapsing (openly in the forum) right away and recommitted to quit again. I do think relapse is unavoidable - the question is whether you want try quitting or not? Please don't loose hope.

Yes, I do wish problems go away once we quit smoking, but the truth it is part of life and we unfortunately have to learn to deal with it with cigarettes - one day at a time. Fighting / arguments is definitely a trigger for almost everyone (drinking too). Best to avoid all of it and take deep breaths instead.

 I truly believe that with her I will never quit.  Any ideas?? 

I'm sure you can. But maybe not during the first quit. We all need to learn how to deal with all of this without ciggaretes.

Maybe when the home situation is not so tense, you can tell her that if there is any arguing/ fight, you need to step out of the house for a while?  

Hope you're all calmer by now and ready to quit again

Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Sep-30

Your life is not going to change, you are changing inside of your life.  Consider that the stress you carry around is reduced and even eliminated when you quit smoking, making you a better person to deal with your life.  Write the novel.  Post your chapters here.  Document your progress and note the changes around you and inside of you here on this forum.  Create a New Topic about your quit and update it periodically as often as you like.  Many members of this forum have done that and it has helped them as well as others who are seeking guidance in their quit who may be going through the same or similar things as you.  That is a great idea.  If you feel that it will help, do it.

       

Lee.T

From: Lee.T

Sep-30

Take a deep breath and look outside and enjoy what you see. Think of all those people who haven't asked to be in terrible conditions they in being non smokes yet God gave us a body with no floors yet we chose to smoke. Think of how quickly we can heal compared to others in worse situations. Cherish what you have and know how much better you going to feel fighting something more simple than what others have landed up with not by choice. You can do it. Enjoy being on earth and what we have been given  to see and enjoy freely everyday without the unwanted bad habits that have crept in.?. 

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Sep-30

Hi there,

She's cool, No, I won't be doing the Nope thing, I have to many commitments at the moment.

oxanquits

From: oxanquits

Sep-30

Uuuf, I can feel you. There was and is a person in my life who would make me smoke, regardless of my mood the minute before we speak or meet. Fortunately, not partner, so we didn't meet daily, but close relative I care about, so couldn't avoid. It also became my excuse to smoke, I felt that it is ok to smoke after we meet or talk, because I felt bad. I guess It’s common "that" person or situation :) and that's already something to think about, while you're preparing to new quit, try to get new perspective about who is triggered, real you or nico-dependent you.. 

What helped me, not sure if there is any occasion you can do similar, is taking a break from communication(minimize it) with anyone who would let me down, at the beginning of the quit at least. Once you feel more confident there is better chance you can feel ok with what triggers you most. I still get the same feeling with this person after 6 month quit, but I don't react in the same way. You need a lot of time to heal and to learn new behaviors, so be patient, it might not come from the first time. Don't stop trying. Try to come up with something relaxing and effortless to add to you emergency plan. Maybe even something you can do when your wife is around.

  • Edited September 30, 2021 5:53 pm  by  oxanquits
Mercy (mercy164)

From: Mercy (mercy164)

Sep-30

Hey!

  Good to see your face.  I'm back....again.

Mercy

2 days

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