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To Paul and anyone else interested
I ran across this affirmation today. Don't remember who posted it but it applies to me in a big way.
The secret of success... you have to want
to quit more than you want to smoke.
Once you stop thinking that you are
depriving yourself of a cigarette and
realize that not smoking is the reward,
you will persist.
I have this tacked on my wall at eye level so I see it when sitting at my desk.
I hope all is well today with everyone.
That is very true and the essence of quitting. Without this you most likely not succeed, and if you do manage to quit anyway lets say because of immediate health threat, you will be miserable thinking you have lost something and yearning for it every day.
I think the key word is deprivation. No matter what your circumstances are, if you feel that you are being deprived of smoking you will never get over the obsession, even if you have quit for a period of time.
One week and going strong.
Well done! You can do it.
Strong work Andrew!
How’s it going? I like your new pic!
I love that too; pausing and reflecting on the fact that not smoking is NOT deprivation.
There is a lot to be said for learning to sit with our feelings. It’s an art really, and takes practice. In our culture it isn’t easy to do, and feels unnatural and uncomfortable initially. We live is such an over consumeristic culture with deeply ingrained expectations for instant gratification. I’m not sure where along the road it became this way to the extent it is…? I recall my folks as being quite different. They knew the value of waiting for things. Then somewhere along the way our culture in general shifted. Perhaps it has something to do with the advent of instant coffee and microwave ovens . The main thing they have taught us is “we can get or make what we want faster!” But is it better? Not in my opinion. Then, along come services such as Amazon! Woohoo! Now we can get our stuff delivered same day! At the expense of all the small businesses struggling to stay alive and make ends meet of course. But who cares?! We, individually, get what we want now!
The point I’m trying to make is, that culturally, and subtly, over time, we have become these beings that live on such a superficial and self motivated level in many ways in our day to day lives. It may not appear that these things have had a negative impact on who we’ve become, but they have. They have taught us that the things we want in life are instantly and readily available. I believe our day to day lives have soared to this plane of not really allowing ourselves time to process, to think, to feel. On the surface they are conveniences we view as making our lives simpler and better. Those simplicities come at an overall cost of making us into beings that stay on this plane not really needing to slow down in so many ways and not needing to work that hard to acquire what we think we want or need. All of our thoughts and actions carry over into making us who we are. Living mostly on autopilot, not needing to do much else. So why would we sit with, just sit with, how we feel about things? We have unlearned how to.
Smoking is a HUGE part of that instant gratification for us, or so we think. It takes a lot to rewire and unlearn those knee jerk responses and reactions to so many things. With nicotine we didn’t have to! Anxious about something? Have a smoke. Ahhh. That’s better! Mad? Have a smoke! That helps. Just get some really good news? Oh boy! Let me have a cigarette! That one really boggles my mind now. But this is what we did. We didn’t even allow ourselves to enjoy those moments without feeling we need to inhale some burning leaves to really top it off.
Im a believer in when the urge strikes, and for me it occasionally still does, the best thing to do is look at the urge to light up square on and just stare at it for a minute. Think about what is underneath that superficial desire for instant gratification. Feel those things and be with them. Roll with them. Let them flow through. Process. It can be done without a smoke. It just takes allowing ourselves the grace and time and space to do it.
I feel like these thoughts make sense though came out a bit discombobulated. I’m gonna go sit and think about it more without a smoke.
Keep rolling! You are doing GREAT!!!
I love this Anne: “now it’s more like a conversation with myself”.
A conversation we didn’t allow ourselves to have before because we automatically reached for a smoke to deal with or process what we were thinking or feeling. Now we get to really know ourselves without that veil. So great, right?
Excellent post! Discombobulated, not! Your message is clear to me.
Immediacy has become the norm. Today we can get what we want with less effort than before. Amazon, streaming, bill pay, instant communications such as facebook, twitter, texting & email with smart phones in our pockets. Technology has taken over our lives and there is more to come as we progress into an increasingly remote world, disconnected from one another. Work at home, never needing to go to the office, zoom medical care, colonization on distant planets and much more to come.
I've always viewed smoking as a way to isolate because most people don't smoke today. It is all too often our break times at work or home are spent smoking in a designated place. It doesn't matter if it is 40 degrees below zero outside, we still smoke. It doesn't matter if the kids complain about the smell in the car, people distance themselves from us because we stink. Sound familiar? So many examples that I could fill this whole page.
Holding off from getting another fix is deprivation.
Deprivation implies loss of control. No one wants to admit that they are out of control. That means that we are unable to face up to the fact that smoking is insane. Any addict will tell you they can't help it. Defeat, surrender and reckless behavior to name a few.
It's so easy to run to the convivence store and pick up a pack of smokes for immediate gratification. I wake up each morning and sit of the edge of my bed, eyes closed and meditate on what I want out of my new day. Smoking dominates my thoughts. Am I going to cave in today? Absolutely not.
Hello fellow quitters,
In 49 days, on July 23, 2022, I will complete my tenth year as a nonsmoker. I smoked for 36 years, everyday, 28 Marlboro 100's red.
Since quitting I:
Didn't smoke 100,884 cigarettes
Increased my life expectancy by two years.
Was it hard? The first year was tough. Being my year of firsts, (first phone call, first coffee, first beer, etc) was pretty tough. But each time I overcame a first I grew a tiny bit stronger.
I was so happy on my first anniversary, proud of my accomplishment. My wife and kids were happy and disbelieving, afraid I would relapse. But I didn't. I won't.
What was fundamental to my quit? The following:
Allen Carr's "The EasyWay to Quit Smoking"
4 first weeks with the 21 mg patch (I only used it for 28 days)
My quit counter, that I consulted several times each day.
I never think about smoking, it hasn't been a part of my life for a very long time, I never wish I could have "just one".
Set yourself a date within the next seven days. On the chosen daytake the step and never look back. Don't wait for perfect day, it probably won't come.
Wishing everyone here success on this journey.
I total agree with your. Get rid of Deprivation and replace it with REWARD !!!
It definitely is, you are so right Loreficent. Mine often start out with 'Are you crazy???',,,lol.