This community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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You wrote me a few weeks ago
I'm glad you are updating.
I will lend you my advice from my experience. I know that some people here found the lozenges helpful, so I cannot speak for everyone, but in my personal experience and the scientific viewpoint, weening yourself by using lozenges is just prolonging the withdrawal and can be torturous because you are starving your brain bit by bit instead of just cutting off the supply and start the healing and do the withdraw at once instead of suffering withdrawal over weeks. Statistical evidence show that the patches/lozenges/pouches are not very successful at helping people to stop smoking, let alone getting them off nicotine.
It's like telling an alcoholic to gradually drink less vodka every day until they ween off of alcohol. No difference.
My advice would be just cut it off.
This was my response to the above post from you regarding the use of pouches to wean my addiction. Thanks for the wisdom.
You are right. I am only prolonging the inevitable. The final word in this whole process is accepting the fact that there is no other effective way to tackle this except to eliminate the nicotine 100% from my life. I have always known this to be the truth. It was the same with my dependence to alcohol some 5 years ago. "Half measures avail us nothing" as they say in AA.
I wish there was an easier way to do it, but why torture myself any longer? Either make up my mind to X smoking (per your screen name Xvaper) or be prepared to continue on as if I don't care. Well, I do care, and I won't allow myself to give up.
All the physical consequences are easy to accept but the mind games that us addicts play are lifelong challenges that can't be ignored even for the most disciplined.
Again, I will pick a new date to stop all use of nicotine. That will be a commitment that I must make. No more excuses Andrew. Just do it and feel good about it.
There is no better time than the present.
This a post that I sent as a private message to you recently, I don't know if you got it so I am reposting. It was a thank you for hosting the site.
I have been meaning to reach out to you for quite some time. I've enjoyed your many posts on this site and I really appreciate folks like yourself who are committed to others who are fighting for their freedom from smoking. I have been at war with my addiction to nicotine most of my adult life. It's been a long time coming, having tried numerous methods to quit only to surrender in the short term to my addiction. I have fought and won over other serious addictive maladies but by far this has been my biggest challenge. I am currently smoke free for only two months but know in my heart that this is my time to finally end the insanity. I've been visiting Delphi for over two years, but not until the past few weeks do I feel that I have a solid chance to truly eliminate cigarettes from my life.
I really enjoy reading and posting here. I not only benefit from everybody's stories but really love to share mine too. I gain strength in offering support and encouragement to my friends on this site. It is important to know that there are people who understand.
I am grateful for people like yourself who care about others enough to spend time and energy to help. Benevolence is so rare today in our society that seems to have lost the way to enlightenment of the soul. What happened? Nobody seems to care about their fellow man anymore. You are about others. That is an admirable trait because you touch people in a wonderful way with your conversations. Thank you from all of us.
I too care about others and lately have been pumping people up with supportive and positive replies. Getting lots of great feedback for my efforts. You know what I mean. It makes me feel good to help and keeps me grounded in my journey to freedom.
Looking forward to reading your insights and affirmations in the future.
My latest is “Dance with this gift called life”.
Thank you for cheering me up this morning with this post which is still the way I feel... Though I am not near anywhere close to quitting the lozenges. I am just being honest. I don't like that I am using them. But I still like using them. It is complicated, I'm afraid. I hope to get back to this mindset! For now, I check in on here to gain wisdom and strength from those who have had success quitting. You are doing really well Andrew. I commend you on your efforts and progress! Keep it up!!!
Good morning Andrew,
Wow, the only dog you’ve had. Of course you are still grieving! It’s a huge loss. He sounds like a super fun dog. Glad you’re not filling the void with a smoke. It changes nothing. At this point you would have regret on top of grief if you were to smoke.
That’s a lot of musical talent Andrew! Amazing! What a fabulous way to fill a void, not only from not smoking, but, with anything really. And also to celebrate life! One of the beautiful things about getting older is, who really cares what others think about you dancing wherever you feel inclined? There’s some old saying, not sure if I remember it verbatim, but it goes something like:
Sing as though no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, love like you’ve never been hurt.
I love it. It’s been attributed to Mark Twain and Satchel Paige, and others. I’ve also seen it attributed to a Buddhist saying. Not sure if it is really known who coined it, but it’s still good advice and a very lovely way to live. Speaks to being in the moment and that each moment is new.
Hope your day is great Andrew! How did the tile project go?
I feel your helplessness. You can't seem to break loose from the addiction. Not even for a day.
Your statement about lozenges: "I don't like that I am using them. But I still like using them." is what Allen Carr calls conflict of wills and he further says that willpower alone. does not work for quitting smoking (lozenges n your case). He illustrates the myths that we believe and that keep us using. The book goes beyond the "I need to quit mode" and explores the lies and deception that we tell ourselves which keep us smoking. I got a lot from his book it is well worth reading.
It would drive me crazy negotiating each day when I was going to use the lozenges. when I wasn't and if I did use the mental anguish would be unbearable.
I'm a black and white guy meaning it's either on or off. There is no middle ground. If I am going to quit smoking, I will not smoke at all unless I relapse in which case, I won't go back to quit mode until I am prepared to fully quit. That may be days or weeks out, but it is a promise that I make to myself. I hate breaking promises, especially to myself.
Stay honest, even if may be embarrassing and self-loathing. You are only human and need to lighten up on yourself. I say, you will get it when you are ready. Believe me it took decades for me to wakeup.
Thanks Andrew. On my break at work but wanted to share with all of you some lyrics which are helping me reduce my lozenges intake.
I am talking to the lozenges:
Oh simple thing,
Where have you gone?
I'm getting tired and I need something to lean on...
Oh tell me when
You'll let me go...
I don't know how much longer I can go on...
Without you, I may be blue
But perhaps that is already how I feel about you
Sorry peeps gotta cut this short I gotta get back to work.
work, work, work
when do you play?
the lozenges will never let you go unless you let them go
let go, let God
ask for help and you will overcome
Oh Andrew- work is my play! I am catching up on making too many bad turns in my life! Having bipolar disorder, I was hospitalized in my 20s and 30s. I never married, had many broken relationships, got let go of various jobs, never owned a home lol, etc. It sounds like I am throwing a pity party, but I no longer regret the life I lived the way I used to! But now... On the right medication, I am stabilizing and working towards a position in Cosmetics management. And to be a Cosmetics manager, I need to put in the work!
But I do hear you Andrew. Play is necessary too! Hopping on this forum is my playtime! I am feeling excited tonight! Whenever I would spend time in hospital, I would hang out in the smoking lounge... Smoke with other patients and watch trash TV. I remember there was literally a grey cloud in that little room. No ventilation and just a bunch of us commiserating and romanticizing our mental health. This was all through 1996-2006.
Now I am working on my mental health. I used to write tonnes of poetry. So those lyrics are about cigarettes. The cigarette is the "simple thing" I would always lean on. Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting tired.. I need something to lean on. It might sound like I am romancing the cigarette and I know I am, but melancholy is helping me! It's me and my "weird luck."
I will play here Andrew... And write another lyric for you all to see how I am coping with my quit. This is spontaneous now.
Oh tell me when...
I will let go...
I'm getting tired of this show...
I call my life...
But no one really knows..
How I rely on you...
My life is a show...
Til tomorrow! I reduced by 2 today. Night all.
I really appreciate your candidness.
Having been diagnosed manic depressive (Bipolar Affective Disorder) in 1986 I understand what you have been through. Over the years, I have had several severe episodes, I mean severe. I could blow you away with some my stories. Fortunately. I have been stabilized on meds for over the years.
I like yourself have led a not-so-normal life. Couldn't stay in one place very long. Traveled the country looking for what I can't tell you. Spent countless months in mental health venues. Short term employment history, attended 5 different colleges with no degree, married a woman I met in one of the "venues", divorced 5 years later. Never had any children, one of my biggest regrets.
Enough of that stuff.
Currently married to someone who "rescued" from near insanity some 15 years ago. I now live a predictable and peaceful life. Actually, I very much love my life today. People see the positive energy in me. I am living a renaissance of 'my life. Each day is savored and I take nothing for granted.
Quitting smoking has been a huge challenge for me. I have fought several other addictions and won but smoking has been the worst of them all. I have learned much about myself in this process. I am glad I found the Delphi site; I really enjoy interacting with everyone all over the world with the same issues.
Creativity is so important to the soul. I encourage you to keep writing from your heart. I love writing, art & music and have been creative most of my life. I don't know what I would do without my music on Utube. As you may know I love to dance and can be seen in public moving with the music blaring in my earbuds.
One has to find those positive outlets otherwise we "dry up" inside, like my flowers if I don't keep them watered. We need to feed our souls and spread our spirit out to the world. Am I making any sense?
Good day (night)
Andrew... Thank you for sharing! I really want you to do some form of public speaking ... Not just on addiction, but also mental health and using art forms as a way to deal with symptoms. You have come a long, long way. Your story helped to keep me on track this morning. I almost caved to smokes not just lozenges. I actually made it to the gas station and parked my car in front. Literally salivating and fantasizing a smoke not a lozenge. I have a lot going on. You are right about what you said yesterday. I need to play. My work and newfound go getter mentality has me wound up. When I get this way I want to do do do. And then I become anxious when I have to tick things off my list. For now I will end with another spontaneous lyric!
I can get on just fine without you...
Pray for something else to do...
Bake bread or something new...
To become I must just do...
Only bit by bit to get rid of you-
Nagging me and rushing me to be perfect
But today deep down I knew
That I would win and now I am finding something new... Perfection is hard to do
And so I will bake bread and eat it too...
This is not the end of me...
But the end of you!
Good day all.