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Irritability   General Chit-Chat

Started Jul-21 by Jerthie123; 416 views.
Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Jul-21

Hello all...

Denim shared a valuable piece of information last night. It is a tip that seems obvious but I take it for granted. She said that when we quit smoking we can expect to feel anxiety and irritability. This is how I feel when I am really cutting back on nicotine lozenges. I feel like my brain is tied up in knots, and that the only thing that will loosen it up is another lozenge. Five minutes ago I felt irritable. Every other hour I am anxious. I can never seem to feel content. I constantly feel like I have to be winning at everything, smashing things, kicking ass at every facet in my life: diet, workouts, finance, housework, career, social life, etc.

Lorificent said in one of her posts that there was a missing piece in her life. And that gradually she realized that the missing piece was quitting smoking. This is me 100%. I feel I need nicotine lozenges to motivate and energize me to succeed in life... All its facets. But nicotine lozenges are what is holding me back from being all I can be and living truly my best life!

For what is a healthy weight, a fat bank account, a promotion at work, etc. if it was all achieved with constant addiction to nicotine lozenges? It's a lie. It was never my hard work and discipline but the aid of a substance that is "not allowed." If I was to win at life with the use of nicotine lozenges, I feel like I cheated on the way up!  No. No more lies. No more masks.

I am not your typical picture of worldly success.. Though I do strive to be! I want more out of life. I want to live a life that I feel was robbed from me due to bipolar disorder. Now that I am on the right medication, I can slowly see my new life! All of it... Travel, nicer furniture, a higher income, etc. But if I achieve it all using nicotine, where is the true success?  The victoires would feel like lies to me.

So Lorificent, I am finding my missing piece! Slowly, slowly, one moment at a time! Thank you again for that wonderful insight I will keep in my back pocket. And thank you again to Denim for reminding me that feelings of irritation on the quit journey are part of the process of letting go completely!

Good day all.

candrew

From: candrew

Jul-21

Jerthie:                                                                              Thursday, July21 - 3pm

I just read your most recent post. 

What I hear is clarity. Self-awareness is part of growing and your ability to make positive efforts in making changes for your life. In your heart you know what to do but it feels like an impossible task to make and stick to your decision. 

Personally, it took my almost dying to figure out that I was going down the wrong path. It was a no brainer since valued my life more than the destructive nature of smoking. Thank God I woke up and started "smelling the roses". 

Regarding your belief that using nicotine is an aid in your desire to win in life. This is a fallacy that you know is a lie. Using nicotine absolutely does nothing for you. Yea, you might gain a little weight, but so what. That can be overcome with a healthy lifestyle. 

Don't ever believe you cannot achieve sucess in your life. Everything is possible with the right attitude and effort. Imagine yourself as having the power to achieve anything you desire. Stand tall, look forward, set your sights and go for it!

I know you can do it, have confidence in your ability to make this ever- important commitment for life.

Good day (and more to come)

Andrew

candrew

From: candrew

Jul-21

Hey Ann - How are you doing, I haven't talked to you in a while. I trust all is well. I've always enjoyed your inciteful posts. You have helped me in the past and I want to thank you.

I am doing remarkably well. With only 2 + months smoke free however I feel a power of positive energy that excites me and contributes to a strong commitment to really get serious about my smoking.

I'm tired of giving up on a whim. This is serious stuff. I have so many other things in my life which are high priority and cannot tolerate my smoking like a fool. I have been denying so much about the negative behaviors that have kept me down Almost like a spiritual awakening. It's time to make some big-time changes. 

I am having fun responding to posts. Especially to the new people who are starting on their journey to a smoke-free life. It helps solidify my commitment I have a newfound energy that I never imagined possible. I exercise each day pushing myself more and more.  I am refirbing the house with kitchen upgrades, landscape creations, painting, fixing things that don't work and lots more. I have a flower garden which gives me a lot of pleasure. All kinds of neat stuff.

Enough about me. As I remember you have quite a long-time smoke-free. How is that going?  Do you still have strong cravings like the beginning of your journey? What do you do to counteract those uncomfortable times? Everyone is different and so goes their approach to fighting that "I got to have one" feeling. Just one and we all know where it leads us.

I think I am rambling. I try to keep my posts brief but ran over with this one.

You take care.

Good Day

Andrew

CC to Loreficent
Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Jul-22

Andrew ....

Thank you for your vote of confidence in me. Yesterday at work, I smoked four cigarettes. I felt terrible afterwards but it happened. My resolve just left me. Even the lozenges weren't doing anything. Anywyay! I am not giving up. I threw the rest of the pack away and will just continue with using lozenges and my pattern of cutting down to quit. I am sorry it's not a positive post... But I encourage anyone who feels like taking that one puff just for the heck of it... NOT to. On with my day!  Going to the gym now!

candrew

From: candrew

Jul-22

Quit the sorry sh**. You are getting it slowly but surely - personally I would have smoked the entire pack, then I would say NO MORE! You are torturing yourself every time you fail and put another justification in front of you. I can feel the pain and anguish. My mother used to say Honor thy Self, I'll never forget that. You too should give yourself credit for doing what is right and continuing your fight. You are winning with every punch at a time. Keep fighting as if your life depended on it,

You will succeed...........

Good Day,

Andrew

CC to Loreficent
Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Jul-22

This response makes me feel hopeful!  I am not craving nicotine this morning. But I will not quit the lozenges just yet.  Slowly, I am getting it. Thanks for the sympathy and encouragement Andrew! Hope you are enjoying your days. Sounds like you are!

Hi Jerthie,

Reading your post made me reflect back on my first year trying to quit.  I always felt like something was missing and there was nothing filling the void.  Not food, company, alcohol, exercise, fun...nothing.  That void continued on for a long time and then one day (without me even thinking about it), it was GONE.  No void, very little craving, no lost "friend" or feeling of loss... took a while though.  It was a journey for sure and I never thought that feeling would go away.  I actually can't even go back on this forum and read my posts from that first year because I was a different person then and I don't want to relive those feelings of discomfort.  But just know, it does pass and go away....it just takes time and you can do this.  I smoked for 35 years and was a complete nicotine addict... push through and plant your feet firmly to get yourself through those rough times.  And if you give in, just start again with even more determination.  

Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Aug-1

Thank you Cindi. It is definitely a void feeling I have when I don't have lozenges or smokes. I don't know if I will ever get to your peaceful state of mind. I am afraid of that void. God bless you!

Believe it or not it can be done.  It is just a matter of time going through all the pain.  That void is really frightening and feels diseasy (don't even think that's word...lol).  Not easy pushing through it but just take it from someone who came out the other end ... it's possible.  We are here rooting for you!

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