Jenny... That is so good. I understand how you feel about being a closet smoker, being able to stay smoke free when you are around your family and loved ones. I too, can stay lozenge free if I am doing things or if I am around people. When I am by myself and bored, I tend to want a lozenge! 

I am really glad you did not ask the people you passed by for a smoke. That is something I could see myself doing easily. You are doing amazing. Keep going one day at a time. Like Anne said, it will get easier as long as you don't smoke. You are doing great!

Hey Jenny!

How fantastic to have a vacation! Why the hell ruin it by sneaking around and being preoccupied with getting your next fix? I understand the levels of desire (imaginary) and rationalization to do that. I also understand the arguments for and against that are going on in your head and that you feel won’t stop completely until you smoke. But I’m gonna call BS on all of that. You are going to also. Seriously. Let it go. What day do you go back? Commit to making it to that point and let everything else go. You will not get this time with your family back. You could possibly succeed at sneaking off without them knowing and polluting yourself at various points throughout the day. But you would know. Now I’m no psychologist or even any kind of armchair therapist. But I can tell you that some of the underlying issue is your low level of value you are placing on yourself. I believe that is part of the reason you feel you are dependent on being around others to be successful with not smoking. You don’t need to guard against anything external better….you need to guard yourself better. Why? Because you’re worth it. You deserve to free yourself from that vicious cycle of feeding the addiction. It is pure addict behavior and thinking to think you need others present to stay quit. That little voice starts conniving and planning every single chance it gets. It’s doing it’s job! The addict piece has been trained very well. I’m not a believer in that piece going away easily. I do believe it can be retrained. I also know that piece is outnumbered by all of your other facets, all of whom do not want to smoke and are not addicts. It’s just that the addict piece kicks and screams the loudest . I think I’m going off a different direction and I don’t really want to… I want to stay focused on my point of you embracing where you are, all of it’s messiness and inner chaos, just embracing it and focusing on the value of you. Do this for you. You have the keys, the power, the resolve, the intestinal fortitude, the magic!  It’s all in there Jenny. Dig deep. 

Well done!  You are in command.

I hope you have started to feel those peaceful periods where you actually forget about smoking.    This is the reward for quitting and it will grow and grow to 24/7 - as long as you do not smoke. Not even one puff. 

Stay with it - you are going fantastic!!!  Congratulations.

Remember that smoking increases anxiety. It gives you something else to worry about. Try to rest your mind without the use of cigarettes. This is easier said than done, but it will help you, promise. Anxiety is a difficult emotion to feel, but once again, remember that the smoking will heighten the anxiety. So try to relax and even if you still feel the anxiety, know that it is okay to not always feel okay and that this too, shall pass.

Anne... This post of yours is helpful to me! How beautiful... To take it minute by minute and hour by hour... Moment by moment ... I have steadied myself at 6 lozenges a day, down from 12. I feel good.

Hello Feafee78 I am here for you, and you are here for me! I just joined and is my first day That I didn't buy cigarettes. I am lost where to post where it shows your name and comments.

Hello this is Malibugirl69, Iam so grateful to be here!! I am lost where to post my daily journeys and to chat with others, help thank you! Feel free to email me please!

Hello I am so grateful to be here, but I don't see my name, or where to comment. Could someone please help me!! Thank you Malibugirl69

Hi Malibugirl69. Welcome! It is very nice to have you here! This is a good place for you to be, trust me. It is extremely helpful for support, encouragement, and educating yourself on quitting smoking and sticking to your resolution! This is the thread you will be posting to. It is a little quiet tonight.

I suggest you read through this thread and you can get a sense of what others are going through, and hopefully that will give you sense of both direction and connection! I am off to bed right now, so I will keep my message to you a bit shorter. But I will check in on you tomorrow. Take this journey one moment and one step at a time. Have a good night!

I will be going to bed, but before I do, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. You are stronger than you think and smarter than you know, and are loved and cared for. It may be really tough to feel what you are going through, I know what a nicotine craving feels like. What I suggest you do, is take that angst and put that energy into being still, sitting still and then just letting that feeling wash over you and pass. Easier said than done, but you will see that you really are stronger than you think. One thing I do that helps me a lot is to write out all of the emotions I am feeling. I hope that this helps you in some small way. I also pray and let that give me the feeling that I am not alone and that it is all being looked after by God. Will check in on you tomorrow.