Hello warriors! Long story short: I quit almost a year and a half ago, haven't had a single puff, and don't intend to. But still, I am sometimes haunted by the notion of smoking. The allure of it persists, dimly, but still. I'd love a word of reassurance!

Hey Martha... One whole year smoke free! Lady, that is more than just a small accomplishment. That is huge! Remember that romancing the thought of a cigarette, even if for just a minute is normal. Most of us have smoked our entire adult lives. As more time piles up for you with your quit, you can accept that thoughts like this one will happen from time to time. Give yourself grace. And don't try to deny or fight the thought. Just let it pass through you without taking any action. We are all human. And you are doing amazing. You should be so proud!!!

Perfect words for me Jerthie, thank you!!

Hi Martha,

How wonderful to read on your success quitting!  I have been not smoking for 3 1/2 years and once in while, I have the thought of “cigarette”.  The next thought is “not anymore”  and I go on.  It is just a memory, not an addiction, calling to me.  Of course we will have a memory of it, no use denying you were using/addicted for several years, every hour, every day.  You quit!  You came thru the rough seas victorious!  You don’t give up sailing, you just enjoy it more!

"It is just a memory, not an addiction, calling to me." Love that so much, and thanks for your wisdom!

Hey Martha!

Lovely to see you here! I’m very happy that you are doing so well.
Don’t be too discouraged by those fleeting, vague thoughts of smoking. I think they are just a natural part of the process. You noted the allure is “dim”. Do you remember the first few weeks of your quit? How we felt like there would be no end to the desire and the feeling of deprivation? Those thoughts and the desire certainly weren’t dim in that phase. I think taking note that those thoughts and the desire have paled in comparison to earlier in the quit is what is important to focus on, not the fact that they haven’t disappeared completely.
Keep doing whatever you are doing day to day and don’t fret too much that there are vague memories and at times even subtle longings for what we once held in such romantic esteem. We built an entire emotional coping mechanism and attachment to smoking; a psychological dependence. 

Having those occasional thoughts and pale desire,  or reminiscing in a subtly romantic way…those things are just evidence you are still on the journey. Don’t worry about them too much. I think one day we will say to ourselves “wow, I haven’t thought of smoking at all in almost two years!” Then we will carry on as we do today…grateful and happy that we left smoking in our past. 

Ahhh. Susan…that is the perfect way to see it “It is just a memory, not an addiction calling to me”. I love that too. Gonna carry it in my pocket, thank you!

You are so welcome! 

Thank you Lore!  "Evidence that I am still on the journey" -- that's perfect. And also reminds me that everyone's journey is unique.  It's not helpful to compare my progress with anyone else's. 

I debated posting, because I know I am so blessed to be past the incredibly hard work of giving up smoking.... I wondered if it would seem, well, kind of whiny to talk about occasional urges. But I am so glad I decided to post, because y'all have given me renewed confidence and gratitude:)

Martha

Oh, never debate posting! I think it really helps keep perspective when others chime in. There is also validation reading other’s experiences, and hearing their experience helps normalize things for us. As far as whining, never. I can tell you’re not the type. I don’t think anyone on here whines. Some of us get a bit stuck on something for a bit. I know I can get a thought in my head and perseverate on it and it will be in there spinning until it is a much bigger issue in my mind than it needs to be. Once I come on here and write it out though, poof! A lot of wind comes out the sails and I feel much more balanced again. Wasn’t that long ago I was trying to rationalize bringing a pack of my old brand to Lisbon with me “just in case”. Writing about on here really helped me bring that thought in for a landing and unload it. 
Saúde á viagem!