I wanted to check in and say hello to everyone. I have 25 days and feeling a lot better with the cravings. I'm going a bit mad as we are having a 4 day heatwave here, and it has been 105 degrees out. One thing, though: it kept me from thinking of going out and getting smokes. For real.

Take care all,

Mercy

Hi Mercy!

Huge congrats all your days!! 28 now? The heatwaves have kept so many people inside. We had an insane rainstorm in California right at the start of my quit in January that really helped me through my first 3 days. We take whatever help we can get! Right?

Looking forward to seeing you around!

Jenny

I heard about that. I heard it was a hurricane? We could use some rain. I made a month yesterday. I cant belive it. I will make a post. Thank you so much for writing. Good to meet someone who understands my crazy sense of humor!

Mercy

1 month

Hey Jenny,

Are you having additional weather anomalies during this month of your quit?  Rain, mudslides, Hurricane?  Doesn’t it make you thankful you don’t have to go out in the weather to have a smoke?

If you quit in Janauary, you would be not smoking for at least 6 months.  That is awesome!  Are you having any cravings for the last month? I know you went on vacation and didn’t smoke.  Look at you laying down the foundation of a non-smoker!  

Good job!

Mercy,

Hurricane turned tropical storm was a week or so ago. I think the rain storms we had in January were more destructive, really. They certainly lasted longer! We had more than 100 trees come down in my county. It was crazy and certainly a good time to stay inside.

How're you doing?

Jenny

Thanks, Susan! Weather in California has been a bit odd, lol. I’m up north, but have family south who got some of that tropical storm fun. We’re built for earthquakes, not this kind of thing. I’m so, so happy I won’t be trying to go out to smoke as the weather turns yucky again!!

I’ll have 8 months not smoking on September 4! I’m pretty excited to be here. I still get cravings when I get emotional, which is happening a lot these past few days. My daughter is leaving for college this week and she’s my baby.

I keep reminding myself where I’ll be if I try to have a few and how much I don’t want to be right back there wishing I was here. I’ve always loved that saying, however it was actually phrased. 

Jenny

Im ok. I had a really hard day yesterday. I almost was tempted to buy a pack. I just went home and I soon forgot about the craving. 

I am tired and stressed this week and that is when I blow things up. The nicotine keeps me going so I have my worst cravings when tired. Other than that, my life is the regular chaos it always is lol

How are you doing? 

Mercy

Mercy,

I know the feeling of thinking of buying some, deciding against it, then the relief that comes later when your happy you didn’t. It always amazes me how I could so easily go the other direction and have horrible regret instead. 

I’m struggling a bit. Cried myself to sleep more than once this week. Really not dealing well with my daughter leaving for college. She’ll be in Massachusetts, so not really easy to see her and she isn’t a great communicator, so I don’t know that we’ll get any calls. Hoping for texts, though!! We’re flying her over tonight.

My kids have always been my top reason for quitting, so this worries me. Really gotta get me focused on me and quickly. I did NOT enjoy being a smoker. It wasn’t all about them, they were just the driving force, I guess. Especially at the beginning. I’ll be ok. Just gotta push through these first few rough weeks that’ll be the worst of the crazy emotions. Focus on my dog and cats. One less cat, though. She’s taking one of them with her. I’m gonna go cry some more, lol. It’s ok, we have 4 cats (I didn’t think we could have too many, but turns out we could) and the one she’s taking really is mostly hers. I’ll still miss her.

I better go find something to distract myself. Don’t want to be all noticeably depressed for her last day home. I hope your week of regular chaos stays at a steady level!

Jenny

Jenny, thanks for sharing. I too, know how good it feels to win over a bad crave wave, and walk away from the angst knowing you didn't smoke, in my case use a lozenge. Sorry to hear you're feeling so sad and having to cry yourself to sleep. When we get that low in mood, eventually the sadness leaves and we lift up. I recommend a few happy dances around the house to remind yourself of how you have been eight months smoke free! You have gotta feel proud of yourself and so happy that you are not smoking through such challenges, because we all know all too well that smoking changes nothing but having to deal with the anxiety that we are smoking. It is so great to hear that you would rather cry it out than smoke it out. With the lozenges, I feel like I will always be using them at a low dose, or just use them in only extreme moments of stress or anxiety. Am I in denial? Keep on keeping on Jenny. You are doing really well.

Hi Jenny,

  I am sorry I didn't get back sooner. I have a stomach flu. :(  I understand the fear of kids leaving the house. It can be very hard. My daughter is not a great communicator either, so even though I see her, it can be extremely hard to talk to her and not misunderstand each other. I can hurt badly at times.

   My main reason is her as well. My mother died from asthma and smoking when she was young, and they were close. It also shocked me as she was 59. I still miss her. My mom and I were best friends. I am not ready to leave my daughter at 59 if I can help it. 

I have now told you my family history. It is wrapped in pain, but I hope that pain will motivate me to change. How are you doing? 

Mercy