Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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First of all, huge congratulations on almost two weeks' smoke-free. Secondly, I truly think that finding this Forum and posting here will be the thing which can, with a lot of hard work on your part, make this your final quit.
My heart went out to you when you describe how you've been a 'closet' smoker for so very long. It must have torn you in two to be putting on a pretense all the time - even worse when you knew that your family were aware of what you were doing. Every fibre of your body must want to quit and I just know that each day you go without smoking, your self-esteem will be so much higher.
I love the idea of using your smooth rock as a talisman and distraction from smoking. Here you will also find many, many more tips on how we can succeed in our quits. You can choose to join a Group here. I think you said that you quit in November, so that group is now called 'NOPEembers 2017' and you will see their thread on the left under the grey heading of 'Quit Buddies Unite'. However, you can post anywhere you wish on the Forum and if you're more comfortable joining the other new-comers, post in the 'Welcome December 2017 Ex-Smokers' thread, again on the left but under the heading of 'Introductions/Newcomers Nook'. Read as much as you can on the Forum - an educated quit is a successful quit!
The best way to deal with your party is to pull up every ounce of determination you have and swear to yourself that you will not smoke a day at a time. This does, of course, include the day of the party when it comes around. Post here whenever you feel shaky and need support. Stress goes with entertaining and it is inevitable that you will feel tempted to relieve this stress by smoking. I can assure you that, although we have for many, many years (52 on my part) thought of cigarettes as our friends who helped us through difficult times, we were totally wrong. I can now handle any situation - happy, sad or stressful - better than I did when I smoked. This is due to the huge amount of self-respect and love I now feel for myself since I quit. Boy, if I can quit smoking - I can do anything!!
So, if you want to succeed, keep in touch with us here. Post often and read whenever possible. Time and patience are necessary for us to quit but it's quite incredible how, looking back now, the time I have been a non-smoker seems to have flown past. You will never regret quitting but you would regret smoking again. That I know for a fact.
Have a lovely smoke-free day.
Welcome to the forum. Education on nicotine addiction and support are both a very important park of the process of quitting. This place was a lifeline to me and can be for you. As a former closet smoker I feel for you. It's an exhausting life style keeping the addiction under wraps. Anyway, keep your chair pulled up and read and post. You may like to join a few others who quit in November, just click on the NOPEembers `17 link below. Also check out all the links in the Welcome December 2017 Ex-Smokers thread. There are wonderful articles and tips.
Thank you for the links to these articles and for your support. Some of the things that were said in the closet smoker articles really hit home for me. So much so that I cried... I really thought I was alone in my secret habit. I will keep reading and learning. Feeling confident today. Thanks. (And I will check out the November group for posting).
Thank you so much for your understanding and support. I am feeling good today. So happy to have found this site. I will check out the NOPEember group for posting. I will "rock on!" (Reference to my talisman rock. Lol).
You are not alone in having been a closet smoker. I dug up this thread you might like to read through. Getting the nicodemon off our backs once and for all is truly liberating.
I was a closet smoker - I found refuge behind grocery stores, in far away parking lots, back alleys; any place where judgmental eyes would be minimized.
Funny but many smokers cite the social aspect as being a reason they started smoking - I found it isolating.
I am glad I don't need to live a life of shame - one big reason why not smoking is so great
Thank you for that thread. I see myself in ALL of them! The paranoid driving afraid I'd see someone in the car next to me I knew... Windows open and heat blasting in the dead of winter... I even had a towel handy in my car to put over the controls on the door so I could open my window in the rain without getting the electronics wet... I would even be so paranoid about seeing someone I knew while smoking in my car that I'd only take a drag when the car coming toward me was a safe distance away. I could write a book on how to be a deceitful, lying, selfish person in order to get a nicotine fix. I am/was the master of it. It is truly exhausting. I am just so tired.
Listening to you and Steve talk about it brings back the same kind of memories(nightmares really). Whenever I went out to dinner or away for the weekend, I would always end up smoking by the service entrance with the cooks and maintenance workers or hiding behind a trash bin in the back of a restaurant so not to be seen. I even turned down invitations because I didn't think I would be able to go smoke.
Nicotine addiction makes us think less of ourselves and powerless to change. Check out ex-smoker Many's story of transformation.
Hi - I remember those car days - going for a midnite drive, 1 a.m. drive, 2 a.m. drive etc ... Freezing my hands off because I had to keep the window open and stuff like that.
I used to go out to the shed in the garden. A friend once commented, "you go in and out so much, just like a smoker!" - ha ha!
Getting confronted by our dear children and disappointing them and ourselves.
Get out of the rut! It only gets better. Good luck!
Quit October 26, 2014
I can relate to your pain, one time many years ago I made it a whole year smoke free, and because of my arrogance I thought I had control of my nicotine addiction instead of the other way around and I started allowing myself to have one here and there “socially” before long I was back full swing to a pack and a half a day. I was so ashamed of my failure that I hid it from my nonsmoking friends and family for months to hide my shame until little by little they all found out but I continued to try to isolate myself to smoke as much as possible to try to escape the mainly self imposed ridicule I felt, even though very few people actually ridiculed me at all, but we are our own worst judge and enemy, so hang in there, I know it’s hard to find support as a closet smoker but that’s what we are here for! Keep taking it one hour and one day at a time!