Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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Welcome to the forum. Education on nicotine addiction and support are both a very important park of the process of quitting. This place was a lifeline to me and can be for you. As a former closet smoker I feel for you. It's an exhausting life style keeping the addiction under wraps. Anyway, keep your chair pulled up and read and post. You may like to join a few others who quit in November, just click on the NOPEembers `17 link below. Also check out all the links in the Welcome December 2017 Ex-Smokers thread. There are wonderful articles and tips.
Thank you for the links to these articles and for your support. Some of the things that were said in the closet smoker articles really hit home for me. So much so that I cried... I really thought I was alone in my secret habit. I will keep reading and learning. Feeling confident today. Thanks. (And I will check out the November group for posting).
Thank you so much for your understanding and support. I am feeling good today. So happy to have found this site. I will check out the NOPEember group for posting. I will "rock on!" (Reference to my talisman rock. Lol).
You are not alone in having been a closet smoker. I dug up this thread you might like to read through. Getting the nicodemon off our backs once and for all is truly liberating.
I was a closet smoker - I found refuge behind grocery stores, in far away parking lots, back alleys; any place where judgmental eyes would be minimized.
Funny but many smokers cite the social aspect as being a reason they started smoking - I found it isolating.
I am glad I don't need to live a life of shame - one big reason why not smoking is so great
Thank you for that thread. I see myself in ALL of them! The paranoid driving afraid I'd see someone in the car next to me I knew... Windows open and heat blasting in the dead of winter... I even had a towel handy in my car to put over the controls on the door so I could open my window in the rain without getting the electronics wet... I would even be so paranoid about seeing someone I knew while smoking in my car that I'd only take a drag when the car coming toward me was a safe distance away. I could write a book on how to be a deceitful, lying, selfish person in order to get a nicotine fix. I am/was the master of it. It is truly exhausting. I am just so tired.
Listening to you and Steve talk about it brings back the same kind of memories(nightmares really). Whenever I went out to dinner or away for the weekend, I would always end up smoking by the service entrance with the cooks and maintenance workers or hiding behind a trash bin in the back of a restaurant so not to be seen. I even turned down invitations because I didn't think I would be able to go smoke.
Nicotine addiction makes us think less of ourselves and powerless to change. Check out ex-smoker Many's story of transformation.
Hi - I remember those car days - going for a midnite drive, 1 a.m. drive, 2 a.m. drive etc ... Freezing my hands off because I had to keep the window open and stuff like that.
I used to go out to the shed in the garden. A friend once commented, "you go in and out so much, just like a smoker!" - ha ha!
Getting confronted by our dear children and disappointing them and ourselves.
Get out of the rut! It only gets better. Good luck!
Quit October 26, 2014
I can relate to your pain, one time many years ago I made it a whole year smoke free, and because of my arrogance I thought I had control of my nicotine addiction instead of the other way around and I started allowing myself to have one here and there “socially” before long I was back full swing to a pack and a half a day. I was so ashamed of my failure that I hid it from my nonsmoking friends and family for months to hide my shame until little by little they all found out but I continued to try to isolate myself to smoke as much as possible to try to escape the mainly self imposed ridicule I felt, even though very few people actually ridiculed me at all, but we are our own worst judge and enemy, so hang in there, I know it’s hard to find support as a closet smoker but that’s what we are here for! Keep taking it one hour and one day at a time!