Hang in there, Robin.  I lost it days before 9 months on a previous quit, too.  Looking back, it seems like one of those times when my brain and body were going through cessation changes again.  Overall, though, I felt so much "better" and thought it would be ok to smoke.  WRONG.    I'm in there with Liz...I still feel "something missing" and don't yet feel like my old self.  I still feel like my "quit self", which gets on my nerves occasionally.  I finally realized that with all things--if I wanted to get good at something, it took practice.   Cessation is no different.

For me, some of the mood stuff was there anyway--I just used smoking to numb it.   Menopause, kids, work stress--who wouldn't want to smoke, eat, drink wine, or get crabby as hell!  The smell and the cough are strong memories that are keeping me quit.   I had a cough and shortness of breath during allergy season that was SO scary.

Hang in there!!!!  I'm finding these cycles are temporary and they ARE cycles.    It's taken me a while to accept/tolerate the downward mood/want-to-smoke cycle.  If I hadn't blown it before, I would be at more risk right now.  I notice that I avoid stress and people when I'm on a downward part of the cycle, and my family has had to adjust.  At the end of a tough day(s), I just tell them I'm sorry but I can't cook or whatever.  They've gotten used to it.  Kind of the same at work...I avoid the phone and stressful people as much as I can during a downward cycle.  Eventually, I come around and hit the upward part of the cycle.  That's been my experience so far.  I bet Andrea knows what I'm talking about.  

I've wanted to quit my job at least twice since I stopped smoking, wanted to quit my husband, and fantasized about a different life.  I keep coming back to the place where I love my life.  I can also now look at a pizza and not want to eat the whole thing.  Just one piece.  

I also saw a 65-ish year old woman blow past me on a hiking trail recently.  It pissed me off that I ever smoked.

congratulations!

I am glad things are going well

I get it

i am still my ‘quit’ self too.

i feel impatient but have committed to giving it a year to settle.  I believe it is worth it. It sheeeeeeeit!!!!

I do know what you're talking about, Jean. You describe it so well. Thank you. 

Thanks, Andrea.  Sounds kind of wordy, now that I'm looking at it, again...but geez.  Cessation can be such a beast.

Good job, Leigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Hope you're doing ok, Robin.  Sending best wishes for navigating The Beast.

Hi Jean!

I have not been posting much but do read! I am glad to hear you are doing well! I am doing better than the last time I checked in!

Congratulations on SEVEN MONTHS, Jean!!!

Another month down the road.  You're doing great!

Have a wonderful smoke free evening!

Hugs,

Andrea

Thanks, Andrea!