So, I joined in May of 2013.  I stayed quit for a year.  Then, I relapsed.  For only two weeks.  Thank God.  Then, I quit for another year in June of 2014.  Then, I relapsed again.  Then, I quit a few days ago.  September 2015.  I know that September will be a September to Remember!  Which is what I want to call the September group.  LOL.  But, honestly, I do still want to smoke.  I just know, intellectually, that I cannot do it anymore.  I'm 33.  I smoked for 20 years.  I was having chest pains.  I have a baby.  I cannot afford to keep smoking.  Plus, I do feel much better when I'm quit.  And, I know that my wanting a cig is just the addiction talking.  Its so powerful.  Icky 3's are upon me as I'm at day 3 again.  But I know, this too shall pass.  I thank God for the time I have quit.  Its been a rollercoaster, but toally worth it.  I love you guys and I love this forum.  It always helps no matter what.  Peace and blessings to you all. xo 

Since this is a journal, I'll vent.  I'm feeling very RESENTFUL this morning.  God, help me.  Amen.

Hi A.

Don't  feel bad about your feelings.  You are in the first two weeks and feeling will be all over the place from anger, sadness and crying to being proud.  Be kind to yourself, it is so normal, loving and hating what you are going through.  Hold on with all you have.  Do whatever you need but don't give in.    

Thanks Marge

((Alex)) ~ You have the right mindset...a September to Remember! It's almost six days of freedom for you.. Before you know it you will be through hell week and onto heck week. Keep all of these reasons to not smoke close to you and fresh in your mind. Cigs do nothing positive for us other than make ussick, drain our bank accounts, imprison us on the ferris wheel of nicotine withdrawal, rob us of our self esteem, make us smell, and the list goes on. Keep reminding yourself of this, pledge NOPE, read/read/read, and post/post/post. Feeling resentful and every other emotion out there is normal. We used to hide our emotions behind a veil of smoke. Truly experiencing them and surrendering to the cessation process isn't easy...but you can and will do it :-D

Hugs and love,  Jenn

Thanks Jen!  Can't wait to put up my dot.  Yippee!

I started smoking when I was like 11 years old. I thought it was so cool.  My dad smoked.  I thought he was so cool too.  He smoked Kools.  I can't believe it has taken 22 years to be rid of this terrible addiction.  This should not be allowed to be on the market.  It is a terrible thing.  I am so angry.  I know I made my own choices, but not really.  Stupid tobacco companies.  Stupid greed.  Anywho...

I got one week!  Yay!  So happy to be free again.  I did have some smoking thoughts this morning, but nothing I couldn't overcome with the help of this forum.  Thank God for you people.  I was thinking too...I think that I like support groups because I get to talk about myself all the time.  I am so self-centered.  Yikes!  I may need to start reading or something.  LOL.

More venting here!  I'm just sitting at work listening to people work while I'm on this forum and having chest pains.  It is absolutely hilarious to me that I still want a cig after all this.  Ugh.

Here are my reasons to stop smoking:

1.  My daughter

2.  My husband

3.  My life

4.  My lungs

5.  My health

6.  Hope

7.  Love

8.  Fear

9.  Meeting my grandchildren

10.  Meeting my great grandchildren