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Alexandra's Quit Story   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 9/23/15 by alEXsmoker (afrancis333); 57262 views.

From: alreadysick


Alex, ya'll are so fortunate to have such a great quit group. My July group rarely posts. I guess they are doing so much better than me and don't need support as I do. I'm happy for them if that's the case. I am still working through 46 years of bullcrap done to me by the nicodemon. It's a physical and psychological horror story. I still hate mornings, and I still have cravings throughout the day. 10 wks. tonight and still not a happy person. I still feel so tired and sick most of the day. Plants died on the back porch because I don't sit out there anymore. I'm behind in housework as well. It seems like my whole life revolves around this quit. I think that's fine to a point, but after all this time I should be at least back on a fairly normal schedule. I do go to the gym on a regular basis, but that's the only thing back to normal. My family is still supportive, but I think it reaches a point where they are thinking that life needs to move along.

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I'm so proud of all of you!


killed the beast 7/9/19


From: alexisfree


Good job Michele!  I'm so glad you posted this.  I was thinking a similar thing this morning.  Like, I'm going thru the motions of life, but hardly anything is getting done the way it used to - it is quite discouraging.  I just had a co-worker ask me if I was going to do my job today (in a nice way, but I've been basically just trying to stay smoke free).  My June group from 2014 or 2015 was a similar case to yours - never really posted after we moved to Delphi - I don't know if any of them made it or not.  My guess is, the nicodemon got them.  We are very fortunate to be miserable and smoke free today.  It beats being miserable and smoking blush I'm honestly considering going to my doctor to talk about this depression if it doesn't lift.  I know some people went on Wellbutrin for a while which helped them with their quits.  I may try it.  ANYTHING to stay away from the sickarettes.  I'm so over those pack of jerks.  I'm proud of YOU!!! kissing_heart

Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


(Yeah, I see that, loving the new username sugar plum...)

Apparently yesterday was the day for it -- me too. Not weepy or anything, just a medium-sized depression hole. "I'm worthless" and the like. Thankfully this is a lifelong thing and I know to ignore the thoughts and give my depression monster a hug.

And the not getting hardly anything done. I'm super ready to get back to life too, tearing my hair out over here, but not at the cost of my freedom.

Alex (alexsmoker3)

From: Alex (alexsmoker3)



Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m not alone - yay!  Yeah,  I read in my journal  this morning that there are some things that make me feel like a real monster. And then they suggested to pat my little monster on the head LOL. I like the way that you put it about giving your depression monster a hug. I had some good self talk yesterday -  telling the young version of Alex that she’s OK and she is loved and she is perfect just the way she is and I will take good care of her from now on. It was very cathartic to say the least.  Off to yoga now!  xoxo


From: alreadysick


Can I adopt you as a twin to my 37 y.o. daughter? She would love you and have a blast with you! LOL

Msg 469.263 deleted
Alex (alexsmoker3)

From: Alex (alexsmoker3)


LOL - yes definitely! blush  Yay!  Mama Michele heart_eyes_cat

In reply toRe: msg 265
Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)


Hello Ladies,

   Some days I am a slug, some days I am the energizer rabbit, some days I am Sybil, others the monster from the Black Logoon. What is happening to my brain ?  Then other days I feel at peace, which is lovely.  Hoping for more and more peace filled days.  Proud of us all, ladies.