Meredith (GettinFree) said:

Even when we think everything's okay. ;)

Yaasss!!! 

Remember Alex, all is well.  Feelings are not facts.  You are feeling sad now, but this, too, shall pass.  Just make it to bed time.  Just make it to bed time.

Oh, honey.. *huuuuuugggg*

Thank you 

To Alex

Alex you know u can get tru it just don't smoke, stay in the moment and breathe and breathe again.

Think of how well you are doing. My first couple of weeks dont even ask me how I got tru them some days I just stayed on the sofa only got up to do what I had to do. Days I just cryed. All that is in the pass now I look forword to the future been nick free just like you will be.

Mary 10 months

Thanks Mary!  Yes, I cried a few times yesterday.  I guess I'm healing.  This is the HARDEST thing I've ever done, but I know it will be worth it.  I love my quit this time.  I NEVER want to let it go.  Now, to deal with life...that's a whole new ball game!  Thanks for the reminder to breathe - I forget sometimes.  Deep breath....

Hey Kiddo,

Sorry I've been out of the loop. 11 weeks today, and this past weekend started like I was at 3 weeks again. Irritability, impatience, cravings, you name it! I changed my name(duh) to try to change my attitude. I feel like maybe I'm starting that last icky 3 early. I am SO proud of you. You are doing amazing! I knew you would of course. You always figure out your problems. Anyway, I still love ya' girl, so hang tight and I'll be around.

Michele

Killed the beast 7/9/19

Hi Michele

Look at you 11 weeks you go girl keep going I know that I used to say to myself just get to 12 weeks and it will get better then I learned to just stay in the moment and day we will get there.

Mary 10 months

Okay, time to post.  I've been kind of "self-willing" it lately.  I started to feel freedom from the addiction so I haven't been as diligent about posting here like I should (you know, to maintain my balance).  Last night was ROUGH.  Baby girl couldn't nurse because she was stuffy (first day of day care on Tuesday and she already has the sniffles ).  So I used the bulb syringe on her nose to suction out the mucus and she was so mad.  That was at midnight.  Then, my 4 yo woke up and we read stories for a while.  So, I finally get the older one down and the younger one was still fussy.  So I drove her around for a while - she finally went back to sleep around 2:30 AM.  When I woke her up at 6:30 AM she was so mad - she did NOT want to get up and get dressed this morning for baby school - she wasn't having any part of it.  THEN when I got to the day care the lead teacher was just so standoffish - she's been like this since Tuesday - I guess maybe she's just in her "zone" of working with the other babies, but when we were at our other school, the teachers let me hand my baby to them; this lady doesn't do that.  And since my baby was fussy this morning, she really needed to be held - I didn't want to just put her on the floor!  I think I'm just grumpy because of lack of sleep, but I'm over protective of my little ones and I don't want anyone mistreating them.  Although, lack of eye contact with me in the morning doesn't really constitute mistreatment of my child - I'm just very emotional I suppose.  In addition to all the little "pings" from yesterday ("pings" are my brain thinking she wants to smoke, but she's stupid and not allowed to tell me what to do anymore) - WHICH I successfully combated - AND the girls needing so much of my attention...I guess I'm just worn out.  I took a hot shower this morning and said several prayers before I got my day started.  I think that is the only reason why I've made it so far today - and its only 8:47 AM!  LOL!!  I think, also, because I'm trying to combat my weight gain too (joined Weight Watchers again) - I'm just overwhelmed.  Plus my boss is out sick (she's been out all week - it's not good - so we've been praying for her) - so its hard to get direction when you have no one directing you - however, I think I've been doing pretty well taking the initiative this week - all things given.  Maybe I just need to sleep in tomorrow morning and give myself a break.  I still have another client I work with on the weekends, but maybe I can do that when the girls go down for a nap tomorrow...hmmmm...we'll see.  Okay, that is all, I just really needed to vent I guess.