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Alexandra's Quit Story   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 9/23/15 by alEXsmoker (afrancis333); 43076 views.
alexisfree

From: alexisfree

Jun-8

Brenda!!!

How are you my love?!  I've been CRAZY lately.  All the dark thoughts are coming and I'm so sad about the state of our nation.  I wish I could individually go around and hug everyone who is hurting.  I have no desire to smoke, but I know if I allow anger and sadness to permeate my thoughts much longer, I may do just that.  grimacing I'm coming on here to type as a healthy alternative to smoking or drinking or having evil thoughts.  I so badly want to fix the world's problems, but I know I am only one person.  The bright eyes I used to have from childhood have left me.  I used to think, "all people are inherently good."  Now I think, "this person is evil" or "that person is evil".  It is not good.  I prayed several prayers this morning.  I did my meditation (kind of - best I could with the two littles).  I'm starting to feel relief, but I am angry.  I'm sad about how my daughter may receive hate from others.  I know the answer is to "be the change I want to see in the world".  I don't know how to properly love people when I hear their ignorance.  I hope God will reveal to me how I should be.  And soon.  Much love!  xoxo

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Jun-9

Dearest Alex,

   I understand your sadness and grief over what is happening in the U.S. and all over for that matter.  It breaks my heart also.  I think we are all going through an overwhelming and unsure time in our lives and our history, but I think most people, myself included, long for a nation and world that is united, where all lives matter and people can live their lives with respect and dignity.  I hope with all my heart that the people who talk and show hate and prejudice are few and that the rest of us will triumph. I believe the only thing we can do is to not let hate take over our hearts and to hold people that hate accountable for their crimes against others.  I wish that I too could fix things and make them better or had the answers to a better life for all, but all I know to do is to be the best person and friend to others that I can be.  I hope your beautiful daughters never have to feel hate or disrespect.   What a wonderful world it would be if we all treated each other as we want to be treated.  I hope that the minority of people who hate don't take away the rest of us' hope for a better world where we live as one race of human beings.  Don't let their hate change you, Alex.  Don't let their hate make you feel less or make you smoke.  Remember who you are.  A beautiful woman who loves her family and is just trying to make the best life possible for them.  I, for one, refuse to let the haters infect my soul.  I believe most of us want the same thing.  I wish you peace, Alex, as I wish for all of us.   

alexisfree

From: alexisfree

Jun-12

Brenda (1sept19) said:

I, for one, refuse to let the haters infect my soul

Amen!  I'm glad you said this.  I want a beautiful soul.  I will strive to keep on loving.  It is hard, but I remembered yesterday that Jesus told me to forgive 70 x 7 times.  I will pray for strength and guidance.  Love you Brenda.  I'm so glad we're both still here.  We're coming up on 10 months soon!  :D

DbAnne

From: DbAnne

Jun-12

Hallelujah!  Amen!!!

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Jun-21

10 months coming up very soon !!  I didn't think I would see this 10 months ago.  My counter says that I have not smoked almost 12,000 cigs ??  I must have done nothing but smoke. hushed So glad to be free from that.    How are you doing, Alex ?  I don't get on here like I used to but I think of you often.  I hope everyone you know and love is doing well.  I am taking life one day at a time in many ways and working to keep my spirits up.  Some days are better than others.  I hope you are finding peace.

12,000 cigarettes =60 cartons WOW!! Nice Job! You definitely are no sissy!! Your quit story will definitely inspire others and give them the hope that they can do this too by taking this long journey One Day At A Time.  relaxed 

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

alexisfree

From: alexisfree

Jun-21

Brenda!  I’m so glad to hear from you!  Yes 10 months of freedom for us!  I’m so proud of us - we must have quit on the craziest possible time.  What we have gone thru, ANYONE can quit smoking.  I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANY EXCUSES NEWBIES!  Hahaha.  I’m so glad we have our friendship.  I think of you often too.  I tell my mom about you too.  She’s probably having similar feelings to you now.  Do you have any children?

I posted an “In Memoriam” piece for my father for Father’s Day in the Washington Post.  It was super expensive, but very healing.  I needed to do that.  I’m grateful my husband was supportive of that.  If you’d like to read it, it’s here:

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?n=joseph-francis&pid=196370776

Will you tell me about your husband?  I would love to hear about him and your experience and love.  
 

Love you Brenda.  

alexisfree

From: alexisfree

Jun-21

Debbie you are an amazing inspiration!  I just love your energy.

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Jun-21

Hi, read your tribute to your dad! Very beautifully done! Loved it and also cried, because of the love you had for him! So nice to hear about a father who was their for his children. 
 

My dad, not so much, my Step Dad was great and also a man of few words. Generation? Maybe. 
 

Anyway great job on the upcoming 10 months mark! It’s a hard road to travel!

Eve 1/30/2020

alexisfree

From: alexisfree

Jun-21

Thanks Eve!  Congratulations to you on 6 months coming up!  

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