Yeah I'm finally ready now.  Big sigh...

Scared.

Tired.

Restless.

But I am ready.  

I didn't make it thru yesterday.  I'm starting right now.  2:38pm ET.  11/19/15.  Here we go...

I'm ready for all the crap that comes with smoking cessation.  Bring it on.

This is a helpful article.  Here's my renewed list of why I want to quit.  Or why I did quit and want to stay quit:

1.  I want to see my daughter grow. 

2.  I want to be a good example for my daughter.

3.  I want to be at peace.

4.  I want to be guilt free.

5.  I want to stop worrying about lung cancer.

6.  I want my heartburn to stop.

7.  I want to meet my grandchildren.

8.  I want to stop lying to my husband about this.

9.  I want to be healthy.

10.  I want to be smoke free.

Great to hear that you have started a new attempt with full vigor ... Just focus on not smoking today... You know very well that next 3 days are going to be terrible, just be prepared for it and don't be surprised... You already know how we deal with first 3 days... distract, drink ice cold water, do everything but not smoke... Unfortunately I wont be available for next couple of days to poke you... I'll check on you next Monday.... All the best, just sit tight, close your eyes and go through the physical withdrawal, I am sure that on Monday you will be in a better position...

Thx youdi!  I'm just hanging on.  I've locked myself in the house for today.  Just to be safe.  Does "youdi" = "you die"?

I've been following your posts and feel badly for you.  It's difficult enough to stay quit for days, weeks, months, but for you to stop for hours, days, or one day and start again is true punishment on yourself.  You begin the withdrawal and struggle with the craves then smoke and need to start all over again.

I feel sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your mind and craves.

One day it will straighten itself out and you will be able to hang on to the quit.

Laura 9*

Thanks Laura my mind is truly a bad neighborhood. But I trust that it will work itself out. As long as I keep quitting it will stick eventually. I'm hoping today is the beginning of a long and healthy quit.

Hahaha.... no Youdi is not You Die ... Friends fondly call me Youdi.. 

Hi Everyone, 

Checking in on this lovely Monday morning.  I made it thru the weekend without a cigarette.  I must admit that last night my anxiety was thru the roof!  I was praying my butt off.  But it worked.  I'm happy that I made it thru.  It is crazy to me that this addiction can permeate every bit of my being.  It was so elusive that I could not see that I was not making the choice.  My addiction was.  I NEVER want to be in that position again.  I am hanging on to this quit as long as I can.  For today, I'll just take it one moment at a time.  I love you guys so much.  

Alex

P.S.  I will also add that I was feeling guilty while smoking, but then thinking the smoking would help my feelings of guilt, but it wouldn't because the thing I was feeling guilty about was smoking.  Ugh.

Great going Alex!!!! 

Thanks Youdi.