Thx youdi!  I'm just hanging on.  I've locked myself in the house for today.  Just to be safe.  Does "youdi" = "you die"?

I've been following your posts and feel badly for you.  It's difficult enough to stay quit for days, weeks, months, but for you to stop for hours, days, or one day and start again is true punishment on yourself.  You begin the withdrawal and struggle with the craves then smoke and need to start all over again.

I feel sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your mind and craves.

One day it will straighten itself out and you will be able to hang on to the quit.

Laura 9*

Thanks Laura my mind is truly a bad neighborhood. But I trust that it will work itself out. As long as I keep quitting it will stick eventually. I'm hoping today is the beginning of a long and healthy quit.

Hahaha.... no Youdi is not You Die ... Friends fondly call me Youdi.. 

Hi Everyone, 

Checking in on this lovely Monday morning.  I made it thru the weekend without a cigarette.  I must admit that last night my anxiety was thru the roof!  I was praying my butt off.  But it worked.  I'm happy that I made it thru.  It is crazy to me that this addiction can permeate every bit of my being.  It was so elusive that I could not see that I was not making the choice.  My addiction was.  I NEVER want to be in that position again.  I am hanging on to this quit as long as I can.  For today, I'll just take it one moment at a time.  I love you guys so much.  

Alex

P.S.  I will also add that I was feeling guilty while smoking, but then thinking the smoking would help my feelings of guilt, but it wouldn't because the thing I was feeling guilty about was smoking.  Ugh.

Great going Alex!!!! 

Thanks Youdi.  

Hi Alex,

Nice to see your meter up and running.  One moment at a time, then one day at a time.  You can do this.

Thanks Marge.  I appreciate your support very much.

Just posting to check in today.  Its been a little sticky.  I saw a friend of mine smoking outside my workplace earlier.  I joke with him saying, "Give me one!" and he laughs, but part of me kind of wants it.  I guess I should stop pretending/playing about that.  Here's to another day smober!  xo