Hello Anthony,

Sorry about the slip. Listen. You know the drill. One foot in front of the other my friend. Dust off and keep on truckin’.

Does your wife show no interest in quitting? It seems to me it might be helpful for you to have that support and would benefit her too. I can’t imagine going through this and living with a smoker. I’m stepping out side of what may be respectful boundaries here, and apologize for that, but am going to anyway. You guys are gonna have to sit down with pen and paper and make some game rules. Post them where you both see them all the time. There is nothing that will get her there but her, and we all know that, but you need stricter boundaries with her on it and better support and limits for you.  I know this sounds harsh... you do know the tricks and have the tools but having them perpetually under your nose is a set up for a slip. 
More later as I’m at work, but, I care very much for your success and believe it is doable....just very hard with the situation you are in. How can we help you set some healthy boundaries? We are all rooting for you!

Hi Tiny,

I'll take your advice and use a lozenge, and the get up and go when you get the urge is good advice also, I will follow that. This morning I caved yet again, but I've only had the one (if that aint enough) I am using the lozenge now I popped one in when I read your post, It's a vicious cycle if you let it get hold of you, I am determined to nip it in the bud, You don't know how much I appreciate your support, I really need it, I feel like I am the solitary person on a deserted island surrounded by packets of cigarettes with no way to turn, I will climb this mountain with every fibre of my being, to that smoke free rarefied air. I do a walk of 7-8 Km 5 days out of 7 and swim the other two days with a friend- a non smoker, the exercise is good and a distraction, today I'm going to spend in the garden weather permitting, and push a mower around that's after I capture (Photo) the sun rising over the horizon, so I have a plan, for today tomorrow is my swimming day, and a walk, I forgot to mention I try to exercise every day at home as well so it's not like I am sitting at home dwelling on my next smoke, the  key is distraction as you said, keeping yourself occupied, hey heck it's a new lifestyle we are embracing, the possibilities are endless. Thanks for your support TinyBadger.

Kind regards

Anthony

Hi Loreficent,

My wife and I  have had this conversation over and over again she shows no inclination to stop smoking, but abides with my request to not smoke in the house, and if asked hides her cigarettes so that I don't see them and trigger off a want. but apart from that she is inflexible to all persuasion regarding quitting, and she has a heart condition. It's like a death wish, In response to all efforts to persuade her she will say I'll cut down and I applaud her for that statement, but I am yet to see any evidence of that plan succeeding, I am trying to set an example but keep falling into the trap, I will just have to socially distance myself from her while she keeps up this behavior but at the same time be supportive when she shows an inclination to improve her health. Thanks for your support.

Kind regards

Anthony

Dear Anthony,

I’m sorry to hear the wicked voice won you over.  I feel your disappointment, your weariness.  There is no magic.  It is really 99% mental perspiration.  Your partner smokes because your partner HAS to smoke.  That is what defines addiction.

I was just reading messages in the Sept string.  You and your partner were both trying to quit then.  It seems your partner got weary and gave up trying, yet you didn’t.  You both don’t have to be in sync for you to do this.

You don’t have to be nicotine free yet, only smoke free.

Time to make this quit journey yours, totally and uniquely, Anthony “Jatchat” Turner’s journey!  We are here to cheer!  You are an inspiration!

Oh dear...I’m sure that just adds to your sense of anxiety and worry too!

Ok...well...We are here for you. It is so admirable how you come and share your experience and keep getting back on the horse and I hope you always will do that. You help us a lot too you know! 
Hang strong today and I’ll check back on you later!!

Thanks Susan,

I was using Step 2 patches but have gone back to step 1 + lozenge at times when I need it, though I have been using the gum, I can imagine life without cigarettes and it paints a rosy picture, I will have to hang onto this hope. I guess your right about my wife, what is going to turn her? The dentures are real I do need them I will save up for them after I get my orthotics fitted and new joggers. When I think of all the damage done to my body after 40 years of smoking I could cry, still we have to work with what we have. Thanks for your support.

Kind regards

Anthony

Thanks Lore,

I will try to keep faithful to my NOPE pledge today, and thanks for checking in today

Kind regards

Anthony

Of course Anthony. Together we can do this. Slow and steady friend. Like Susan said...just keep the patch on. And don’t stop trying. One day something will click and you will be looking back at several months. Hopefully your wife will too. 
Back soon!

Wise advice

Hi Anthony, I know that I can also fall at anytime, so I will not judge. The only advice I can offer is that I did find it easier to quit not using the will power alone..I read repeatedly again and again things that make sense to me, so that they penetrate my brain, to strengthen the understanding that cigarettes do absolutely nothing for us whatsoever. You have a  challenging situation of living with a smoker who won't quit, but that should not discourage you. I am going to spend a few days with a friend who smokes and I will have to face that challenge because I will always have smokers around me even if not living in my house.

My aunt's husband quit 20 years before she did. She refused and had no desire to stop. Then finally she started being breathless when going up the stairs (she is a super active person) and  went to see the doctor. He took and showed a her an Xray of her lungs. She came out of the Doctor's office and never smoked again. Try, try again. Its clear you really want it, so I bet you will finally succeed.