Whoa....I didn’t realize you had smoked that much. I smoked about 15. Sometimes a pack. I’ll look when I go to the store and see how much here, but For some reason Marlboro was cheaper. Tiny...you really are Montana! Isn’t that where those Marlboro commercials were made? It was always mountainous and pretty.

Oh, yeah. In morning before I went to work I'd smoke 6 in an hour and a half. I was a very heavy smoker. Before I really quit, I had to wear patches at work because I simply could not get through 5 hours not smoking. I was smoking and wearing a patch. My golly, I was not doing well. I started on marlboro reds, then moved to camels for a while then whent to marlboro smooths. (A really light menthol) I had a surgery planned and I was so scared I smoked a pack between 5 and 11 pm. That's why this is such a big deal to me. Im not saying it's any harder for me than for anyone else, but it is hard because i constantly had a cigarette in my hand. You should've seen my fingers. Gross. I never smoked inside so my place all night was the deck. I justified it by saying I was playing with the dogs and getting them out and about, but I knew deep down that it wasnt about that. I hated myself for being so weak. The addiction had a hold of me and I felt so powerless. But that wasnt true! I had the power to choose what to put to my lips, what kind of air to inhale. I have the choice every second of every day wether to smoke or not. Sure,I get weak and ask for help. But I know in the end that it's not really what I want. I don't want to smoke. I am an addict whose brain is rewiring because it's been bathed in garbage so long that it thinks that swamp is normal. I'm going to end this cycle and fight as hard as I can to stay smober. I know I can do this. I know we can do this. 

Great idea, I have done it in the past, I have one in front of my computer saying "I choose not to smoke"

Wow Tiny,

You have come a long way, keep up the good work..

Well thanks! Now if only I could make it so I don't think about smoking anymore ...

That is gonna happen for all of us! All we gotta do is not smoke. Hahaha! No seriously, that’s true, but I also know the feeling of it sounding old at times. But...we are in it to win it! 

Have you noticed I like this little muscle arm lately??? Well...it is better than this: 

Well my emojis never show up here, so consider yourself lucky.

Distract distract distract, I find this very effective, doing something that I find gives me meaning and purpose passes the time so effectively, I find to energise myself I do exercise and even though I exhaust myself it gives me those pleasurable endorphins that give me satisfaction, drink water, ice cold water, establish goals for yourself which you can direct your energy towards and so gain traction, something you can measure your progress with. The nicodemon finds ways of redirecting your thoughts when your hands are idle, these are just a few thoughts that spring to mind.... hope they help, but you probably know this stuff already through your quit journey so far.

Three days Quit, Yeay!

Kind regards

Anthony

A view from our Showground looking up the Shoalhaven River

Don't you ever think that I can't learn from you! I am learning so much here snd that is you included. You are right about the distraction. Just keep moving, you know what they say about idle hands...

Ah! the morning mug of coffee, off to see my Physiotherapist this morning, I wonder what she will say? I have only exercised one day this week because of my knee, and getting slack, using it as an excuse me thinks. into my fourth day and love seeing these days stack up, no cravings, I  am using Nicabate strips a thin layer of plastic looking material that you place on the roof of your mouth where it dissolves releasing Nicotine. I have run out of lozenges and gum. 

Take care you guys how precious are our quits, guard them with your life...

Kind regards

Anthony

Another view of the river from the same spot as previous