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First 10 days review   General Chit-Chat

Started 5/6/20 by Musivore; 120640 views.
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

5/29/20

Ahhh...a near perfect night.

I decided to walk with no music for a while now. Sounds like Portland is scheduled for phase 1 reopening  June 12th and I want to embrace as much of the quiet evenings that remain as I can. Nice too as like my daughter said about me “thinking in music” is true. Tonight was not a night for thoughts. It is a night of warmth and breeze and darkness and shadows dancing across the spaces, leaving comfort for my mind that somewhere there is light.

I did startle as I neared the curve by John the Agave. The city must have restored a street light that is nearly hidden by a very large tree and it flicked on just as I entered the corner, filling the pavement with shadows of leaves darting and moving quickly in the breeze. It was one of those instances that for a split second my mind didn’t register what happened and it quickly filled it’s vacant space with the thought of that scene from the movie “Ghost” where the guy who killed Sam met his demise and the little shadow spirits come up from the pavement to whisk his spirit away into eternal darkness. Yeah...thank goodness that thought passed quickly! It was replaced just as quickly with this unexpected beautiful display of light play on the pavement and my thoughts went to days gone by of dance floors and mirror balls and the comfort of a Tequila Sunrise followed by a late night drive home in my old Camaro being guided by a full moon....ahhh...Summer Nights....they will never grow tiresome or old and there will never be enough of them. The thought of sitting down on the curb to have a smoke was so strong I put my hand to front jeans pocket. Yes, it was a moment of void and reminiscing and let down. But it was enough to break the spell I had for likely several minutes been under and to bring me back to walking around the corner. There, in all his glory... as if waiting for me to hand him a Tequila Sunrise, was my friend John. Appearing strong and tall and steady, and I could almost hear him whisper to me on the breeze, calling for me to step out on the dance floor...

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

5/30/20

Knew I had to take either my music tonight, or stop and get smokes to go check. When I got there I was glad I hadn’t chosen to smoke...

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

6/4/20

Morning has broken, like the first word...

Hope for another smoke free day...?
Good job Portland. Good job. Together we are stronger in ALL things...

Here’s hope to no kind of smoke at the end of the day.
 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

6/6/20

Today is D-Day.

Wow... when I think about the struggles in the past 76 years...

How far we have come in many ways, and how few steps we have taken in so many other ways, it is unsettling. We managed to be such a tremendous force and ally in the liberation of so many in a profound anti-fascist movement. Yet...we remain so profoundly accepting and unchanged in so many other ways. I’m left to wonder what advice those that died on the beaches of Normandy would have for us now? Would they raise their fists and cry for change? Would they be standing at the ready to be called to the streets on their own soil? 

Just because we quit smoking does not mean we must stop thinking. To all of those that fought before us, thank you. You have liberated me enough to make healthier choices for myself in many ways. 

Today John still stands and he gives me hope and peace as I continue on my journey as a warrior for, with, and against other demons, of which nicotine is only one of many. Perhaps in reality nicotine has so far been the most easily defeated. 
Whatever your battle today...stay strong and believe we are stronger together. 

livtoswim

From: livtoswim

6/8/20

well said! 

Your a very nice writer. 

Have a nice week

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

6/9/20

Thank you DJ. 

Mostly ramblings from a fellow addict, caught up in constant thought and reflection. Sometimes pertaining directly to smoking, sometimes indirectly, and sometimes not so much at all but coming from a need to express, often that which smoking suppressed. Never intended with malice. Always with the hope to provoke thought, inspire strength, console, or comfort...and largely to be taken as a distraction from smoking for others and distraction for and from myself as well.

Msg 5840.106 deleted
Elizaquits

From: Elizaquits

6/10/20

Lore, 

Beautiful. 

"For it is not, necessarily, the truth of memory that is important. It is but a picture of that which is needed."  This reminds me of Richard Hofstadter's "memory is the thread of personal identity, history of public identity". 

Have you finished the pack/ready to come back?

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

6/10/20


Hey thanks...I’ll have to read that.

Didnt finish, smoked 8 total and threw them away next morning. So...

Yeah, I’ll write more about it soon.

Thanks for checking in. You are doing great!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

6/11/20

I did check on the Agave (aka: John) last night and he is STILL tall. So, glad to see. 
How you doing still off the patch? 

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