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First 10 days review   General Chit-Chat

Started 5/6/20 by Musivore; 45902 views.
Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

Ah don't worry Eve, you didn't scare me. Was just surprised to read the cravings continue for so long. I'm a little naive about what lies ahead currently, but will read up.

And thanks for being concerned enough to unscare me relaxed

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

5/6/20

Ha! I wish that were my name...It is a nickname bestowed on me by my friends who see me as formidable with certain things, so I thought, ok, I can be that with smoking.

Name is Lori. Your turn now....

DebraAnne60

From: DebraAnne60

5/6/20

Wow, you should write a book.  Your descriptions are phenomenal.  I also quite cold turkey, just over 4 months ago.  I didn't experience anything like you did.  Gosh, I don't think I would have made it if I had.     

I can't imagine what your 3rd and 4th month will be like but I hope you write about it. 

Cheers! 

Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

Hi Debra

Thanks for saying that, everyone is lovely here. It's no wonder this place works.

Glad your quitting was less painful than mine. I think I'm just a big baby though, and my body didn't respond too kindly to the fact that I was depriving it of something it never intended to be deprived of, right to the day it planned to killed me.

Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

Hi Lori, nice name 

I am Shak. I started using Musivore on another website, where it was more important to be anonymous. But I have grown to like the name and possibly the anonymity, so feel free to use either.

Anyways, nice to meet you. You all do such a great job on here, but I have been looking around and you truly are one of the real proficient, knowledgeable, helpful and straight-talking stars on here

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

5/6/20

Hi Shak,

Well nice to meet you too! I like Musivore too.

Thanks for the compliment. 
 

Where are you? I think in the UK? 
 

So, as far as kids...long story, but I had my daughter at 42, and she is awesome. Keeps me young for sure! I also have a stepson who is now 25. My daughter’s dad was married before me and we had gotten together when my stepson was near 4. He and I split up when my daughter was also about 4. I’m really close still with my stepson. His dad was a smoker when we got together, but a doctor and quite ashamed of smoking. He insisted we hide it from his son (Adam). So I went along with it. I initially hid it from my daughter too. Well, anyway, that doesn’t work. In hindsight I never should have tried it, but hindsight is always 20/20, yes? So when Adam was about 12, I came out of the closet as I knew he suspected and I was increasingly uncomfortable attempting to “hide it”. Adam was most angry with my dishonesty. It upset him about the smoking but it was the dishonesty that most bothered him. I learned a lot from that! His dad insisted still on not being honest and Adam and I both learned a lot from that!

I say this because you mentioned 3 young children. My advice would be to be very honest with them about smoking and let them learn from you about addiction and the struggle to be free from it. I talk much with both my kids about it and I really know that neither will ever smoke.

Are you their dad or mom? Either way... make better choices than I did initially with talking with them about it. There really is no way to hide smoking except from other smokers. 

DebraAnne60

From: DebraAnne60

5/6/20

You make it good or bad - hard or easy, its all in your mind.  Have you read Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quite Smoking.   Here is link to download.

http://prdupl02.ynet.co.il/ForumFiles_2/15119301.pdf

I found this book to be very helpful with the psychological aspect of quitting smoking.  

Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

Great advice Lori. Again. And thank you, as I will remember this should I ever become a smoker again. 

I am their dad, and they are 3, 4 & 10. I think I've hidden things pretty well from the younger two (up until now, I have thought like Adam's dad, hoping I could hide things until the problem goes away magically one day. But it doesn't, you are right). I think the eldest knows. He knows about his mum (mom to you) too I think - I have unfortunately led her astray, towards ashtrays and lingering smells, but she too is now 3 weeks nicotine free (and coping well). But yeah, I need to be honest, I can see that now, but as Adam's dad would most likely say to you, why go there now I've quit?

  • Edited May 6, 2020 5:03 pm  by  Musivore
Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

I've heard so much about this book Debra. I didn't realise it was a free resource?

But thank you again, I have so much to read. I hope to get round to this also as it has helped so many people relaxed

Musivore

From: Musivore

5/6/20

Forgot to say Lori, UK is spot on. Well worked out.

Ok, so I can't tell from your writing if you are from Canada or the US? Judging by your bedtime last night though, I think East Coast either way?

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