Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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You know...Fireflies are about as magical as anything I’ve seen. Kind of like slow moving little stars that can be caught and held and then released to carry on their journeys...Them along with the bioluminescent plankton on the warm sandy SE coastal beaches on a hot summer night....some pretty impressive stuff in our world, yes? Nice things that bring a break and renewal....and magic. Yeah...there are things that man just cannot create. Which adds to their beauty and my sense of hope and wonder.
So, I think my first day quit was February 23rd, but that should be adjusted to the 24th. I’ll see if I can go back in the February Quit tab and find out for sure. Truthfully I haven’t thought about it much this month. Days morph into so many thoughts, each one a celebration in it’s own way.
My schedule isn’t “normal” either. Not for work, for sleep, for eating. Lately I have to remind myself I have to eat. Quitting smoking for me definitely did not trigger any hand to mouth replacement. I’ve always been a healthy eater too with no desire for processed junk food, so that helps I think.
No, I don’t really have a time now that sets off a feeling to want a smoke. There are moments when I stop and think, yeah, it’s always there, but then I realize when I’m thinking that, I hadn’t had that thought for a day or two. Still have some situations that provoke the desire I guess, but they are generally self induced and I think about it that way.
Been off the grid so to speak for a few days, doing a lot of reading and walking. Been with my Boy up north again till yesterday. Learning about fermentation. He makes some fascinating and tasty stuff. Waiting for my Kombucha to get to the right place and am going to do a secondary ferment with some fresh berries. It’s gonna be pretty tasty. Still...it isn’t Fireflies.
So...yes...another day not smoking and closer to something. Not sure what, but, enjoying the journey. Sounds like you are as well.
“Try to enjoy the ride as this is about much more than quitting smoking. It requires us or at least gives us the opportunity to dig deeper into who we are and who we want to be, it's life-changing, builds self-esteem and gives us increased empathy for others that struggle in this and other ways. (Mod Dee)”
So...here we are at Summer Solstice. For those struggling with the quit process here in the Northern Hemisphere, you have a tad bit longer to struggle today. For our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, yay! A bit less time to struggle today. Such is the Yin-Yang of our lovely and dying planet. Awww...sorry for that bit of a downer there folks. But, rejoice! For we are doing a small part by not smoking to prolong the life of our home as well as our bodies that we inhabit. And it is not too late in many other ways, but I can’t relate them directly to smoking...or not, so y’all are spared those thoughts.
Either way, it is a crazy time for sure. I spent some time looking back into the February tab to see my exact quit date as I wasn’t one to mark that time down in another way. Time is so relative really. This was reinforced for me when I found the date (February 23rd but now acknowledged on the 24th) and read through that entire tab after. Wow. Who knew where this Virus was going then? Who knew the added turmoil and awakenings and adventures and joys and humbling happenings that would occur over the next few months? Who knew of the restless and struggling moments to find release and or peace that would ensue as the world displays it’s own struggles?
Though I’ve stumbled a couple of times, would I still choose this path? Yes. A resounding yes from me, and I hope from all of you too. It is only us individually that can define and refine our journeys after all. I do love the quote from Mod Dee that is above. There is so much there applicable to so many aspects of life, yes?
Yeah. This has been a ride that has been and is about far more than quitting smoking. Is it necessary to carve out the points that relate? Is it better to just accept the ride for what it’s been and will continue to be? Who really knows where our journeys will take us? Isn’t this the most grand part of it really? The unpredictability, the trials and tribulations, the small successes, the still and wondrous and peaceful moments... and yes, all of the unexpected surprises be they small or profound and life and love altering.
We need another and, perhaps, a wiser or more mystical concept of time. Removed from Universal Nature, we live by complicated artifice and survey life through the glass of only our own knowledge and see thereby the whole image in distortion. Acknowledging Solstice and Equinoxes allows me to keep a form of humble and needed balance, and reminds me that none of us control time, and none of us are really in charge, but rather we live and are alive because of the mercy of and grace given us by others.
So, yes, hanging onto the small decisions we make for ourselves, like smoking or not, has great value.
Congratulations to all still on the “freedom path” of quitting. It certainly does give the mind much more room and time to wander...
Happy Solstice All.
Amazing creatures emit 100% of their light! The most efficient light producers!! I have not seen this bioluminescent plankton!!! Sounds amazing!! Also a must see is the Aurora Borealis someday!! I got these cone lights to hang in the trees. Like the last ones, I thought they wud be warm light but these are flickering! Kind of cool. Do not put out much light but the effect is ethereal. Love!! Makes me happy.
So Feb. 24th it is.
So you are going to be the mad scientist in the Kombucha lab!!! Love it!! Berry blend....delish!! Good hobby and great accompaniment to your walks!! That stuff has the most unusual fizz.
Hope you survived the work weekend and have a beautiful smoke free day !
I love that quote, too. I've been trying to make some changes in my life. Normally, I walk the dogs on a fairly flat landscape. Recently, however, I decided to challenge myself and my dogs to a more vigorous walk, up and down some very large hills. I'm not incredibly in shape, I admit. I sweat and pant and am utterly exhausted. I have noticed that I'm getting faster every day and when I come home and sit in my backyard listening to the leaves rustle, I feel a sense of peace. It's like I take a deep breath and take in the world as it is. I don't worry about the day or tomorrow, I just am. I feel like the world is so full of facts and news and quick moving information that we all forget to just sit. To ponder and observe. You, loreficent, in my opinion are an observer and a ponderer. I like that and I want you to know that while my writing is not on par with yours, I appreciate hearing your thoughts and hearing your ideas. This was long winded and rambling, but I just want you to know that I support you and am eagerly watching your progress. Nice work.
What you just wrote was very beautiful...and kind.
Though that is a very sweet compliment, it isn’t about writing being on par with anyone else. Just writing what you just did...how you felt when you sit quietly in your yard. Didn’t that feel good to put that down?
Yes. I am a pondering person. But there isn’t any special or necessary value in that. It probably drives some people insane. Since quitting smoking I seem to write more. Mostly just thoughts that come into my head and stuff I wonder about. Writing is a way of doing it out loud. It is a way to let out some passion I guess. Like I said...maybe it is just what smoking suppressed. Instead of going off and thinking things while smoking I write some of out. So, essentially, it is mostly natter.
Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. Just trying to stay in the very present moment lately. Anything else right now is...too much. Been listening to music and walking. Reading a lot. Trying to navigate our new “normal” world and just kind of glide through it all as unscathed as possible, and with as little foot print as possible.
So glad you are here and so happy to see your progress too. And your hubby! So good. To us and wearing out time, yes?
To us! I'm happy to wear out my time with you. I think that smoking suppressed some of my creativity. My photography has greatly improved. I kind of think that I'm more in the moment now. Like you, I love music and reading. I have been reading the Canterbury tales--i love classic literature. Suddenly I feel like I have much more time on my hands and am more motivated to keep myself busy. I'm more engaged with how I feel. This is such a weird thing to go through. It's empowering in a weird sort of way. I'm not really sure how to describe it other than I'm learning more about how I think about things, how I see things. I think I might be getting to know myself in a different sort of way. How can smoking change my perspectives and behaviors in such a way?
I have a lot of thoughts on that. The simple answer for me is that the nicotine level drops, the addict wants a fix, so the rest of our mind kind of tunes out and goes into seeking mode to satisfy the kicking screaming teenager?? So...as we start to tune that part out more when we quit, or whatever method we use to quiet it, we are more aware of the other parts of our minds that we largely ignored before because everyone knows it is pretty darn hard to ignore a kicking screaming teenager, right?!
Yeah...smoking suppresses lots of stuff. Not just nicotine cravings.
Man...I just wrote this huge reply that I actually ended up apologizing at the end for the length of it and hit post and instead of posting it POOFED and is gone! Argh. What ever. I’m off to walk now as the sun sets, (Vampire!) so am not gonna try to recreate it. Will see if it is here tomorrow and if not, will see if I can remember what I wrote and try again. Who knows. Maybe it is somewhere else!
Mmmm. All creatures are amazing to me. Seriously? There really hasn’t been one I’ve encountered that doesn’t fascinate me and set my mind off on some trajectory or another. Yup. Even those tremendous cock roaches that are in the South when I lived there, you know the 3 inch long ones that fly? Not that I’d want one on me, but they certainly don’t mortify me or gross me out. Not like some people do! Lol!
Somewhere along the line, my daughter has developed this irrational fear of spiders. I’ve not told her, but I find it disheartening and sad. Hope she grows out of it. I usually just let them be if they are in the house but now I have to catch them and put the, out when she is here.
So, yes...the SE coastal beaches, particularly the barrier islands, are pretty amazing. I used to camp a lot by myself. Went to a place once off the coast of Georgia called Cumberland Island. I missed the Ferry, but there was a guy with a boat that did private runs out for cheap so I did that. Oh man. Most memorable boat ride in my life. These Dolphins swam along side, frolicking and chattering. Those adorable perpetual smiles they seem to have. I knew then it was gonna be a memorable trip. There is some structure there, famous in it’s own way, but mostly the island is actually National Wildlife Refuge. The camp sites are 100% primitive, a long hike in, and very far apart. You have to walk a bit to get water and it is not what most people can get past their nose to drink. But...ahhh...the beach. Nothing like it. All refuge and protected sea turtle nesting site. To walk along there at night, along that white sand...knowing what is just out there in the water. That whole wondrous and thriving and near celestial part of the planet. My mind and heart could just wander for hours even now thinking about it and remembering those nights I spent there.... I’d give about anything to go back Right. Now.
At night I got out of my tent and had my little head lamp on and there on the ground were thousands of these tiny tiny spots of iridescent green lights. Almost the color of fireflies, but so tiny. And all over the ground. Not hovering and floating. So I got down on all 4s to see if I could figure out what they were as they moved. You won’t believe this, but, they were the reflections of thousand of tiny spider’s eyes in my head lamp! Well, of course I ended up afraid to move because they were everywhere and then all I could think about was how my moving and stepping was inevitably going to...yes...squish some. I felt in that moment so very out of place and invasive. It hurt my heart. They were so precious, and who knows what role they have in that fragile ecosystem.
Yeah. There is some amazing stuff to notice.
I could see the Northern Lights where I grew up. Not as spectacular as they are from other places certainly, but still, with an otherworldly air and presence enough to make me know it isn’t all about us humans. Hmmm.
So...sorry so long. Will write about this Kombucha soon. Yes! The effervescence is unlike other drinks for sure! So glad you noticed that!!! That SCOBY is a living thing and that special process makes the bubbles different and exceptionally peculiar, yes? None of that CO2 cartridge BS in my drinks! It is just about being patient and letting the process roll.
I did learn that cigarette smoke is BAD for SCOBYs. Yeah...how about that. Read about it today. Added it to my list of reasons to stay quit!