Hosted by Terry (abquitsmking)
Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
46551 messages in 956 discussions
Latest 12:01 AM by Nope62
Latest Apr-18 by freetobeunme
Latest Apr-18 by freetobeunme
Latest Apr-15 by Loreficent
Latest Apr-14 by blackbird912
14169 messages in 739 discussions
Latest Apr-19 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-17 by oxanquits
2386 messages in 200 discussions
Latest 9/7/15 by ModDee
3805 messages in 257 discussions
Latest Apr-16 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-12 by Cocoa60
77 messages in 18 discussions
Latest Apr-16 by Madpoet1962
1049 messages in 63 discussions
Latest Apr-13 by Eve1973
39634 messages in 3166 discussions
Latest Apr-20 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-20 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-19 by Loreficent
Latest Apr-19 by KatieKat84
Latest Apr-18 by Jatchat
Latest Apr-18 by Jatchat
Latest Apr-17 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-17 by Jatchat
Latest Apr-15 by Eve1973
Latest Apr-14 by Loreficent
Latest Apr-13 by Anne2020
Latest Apr-13 by Jatchat
Latest Apr-12 by blackbird912
Latest Apr-12 by boylant22
Latest Apr-11 by BlueDahlia29
Latest Apr-10 by overdoze
Latest Apr-10 by oxanquits
Latest Apr-9 by oxanquits
Latest Apr-8 by Eve1973
Latest Apr-7 by oxanquits
Latest Apr-7 by overdoze
98564 messages in 196 discussions
Latest Apr-19 by BlueDahlia29
Latest Apr-19 by KatieKat84
Latest Feb-20 by Jatchat
Latest 6:07 AM by Cocoa60
Latest Apr-20 by KatieKat84
Latest Apr-14 by amfsmokefree
Latest Apr-14 by Louise Angelo (LouiseAngelo)
Latest Apr-13 by euknight
Latest Apr-11 by Cocoa60
Latest Apr-10 by Loreficent
9476 messages in 126 discussions
Latest Apr-20 by blackbird912
55099 messages in 14 discussions
Latest 5:55 AM by blackbird912
Latest Apr-20 by Loreficent
Latest Apr-20 by Loreficent
Latest Apr-20 by SusanK1960
Latest Apr-20 by gkim
Latest Apr-19 by gkim
255 messages in 33 discussions
150 messages in 74 discussions
77 messages in 6 discussions
140 messages in 129 discussions
More5/6/20
Forgot to say Lori, UK is spot on. Well worked out.
Ok, so I can't tell from your writing if you are from Canada or the US? Judging by your bedtime last night though, I think East Coast either way?
5/6/20
I agree, there isn’t a good reason to go there now. But you should always be honest when they get older and are curious about smoking as most teens get. I think if we can use our experience and teach them through honesty what the addiction is like then all these years we spent smoking won’t be entirely in vain. Well, they likely are but something good may as well come of it. Teens don’t often listen but you can be a good example. Times are different too. When I was a teen in the upper Midwest (Michigan) we had a smoking are in my High School. Now kids are taught much more truth about smoking.
That is fantastic that your wife and you are both quitting! You could really use this as something to come together and celebrate with. Not to mention encourage and keep each other accountable with. Be honest with her too and let her know you have moments of doubt and reluctance. She likely does too and it may be helpful to you both.
Just don’t think putting it off is going to make any difference and you would just start back to end up wishing you were where you are. Keep going. It gets a lot better pretty quickly. The time is going to go by regardless so make it good time.
Have you shared the forum with your wife or is it better something for just you? Either way, stay close to here for a few weeks. All the data shows that success rates are higher with support whether you are cold turkey or using NRT.
Honestly, I still romance the smoke at least once a day. But I don’t want to be a smoker again. It just was not that good in so many ways.
I like breathing better and smelling better and not having the struggle.
I am in the Pacific Northwest, Portland, Oregon. I’m just a night owl. I did grow up in the Midwest though. Have you been here to the US? I’m told the PNW climate is much like England.
5/6/20
I've not been to the US yet Lori. But I do hope your weather is better than ours, as it rains way too often here. That does really make is appreciate the good days though, and we go all out and celebrate big time for easy and every sunny day and that makes living here worthwhile. That plus the abundance of culture. You been to Europe ever?
What's the north west like? Sounds pretty cool up there to me, and I've certainly heard a lot about some of the big cities around you.
My wife has been solid. But she only ever smoked a small proportion of what I did. She is coping well and doesn't need this forum. It's not her style anyways, as she prefers talking and watching stuff to reading and writing like I do. But you are right, we have helped each other by displaying (often fake) strength when the other person has had a moment of weakness.
5/6/20
I just had a fairly intense craving again, and I tried to take note of the sensation. The urges can take different forms, but the one I had just now is similar to the waves I experienced in the first 10 days: it built to a crescendo fairly quickly and the more attention I gave it, the worse it felt. And if I listened carefully, my heart was racing (with desire? panic? hope? desperation?)... I was also struggling for breath; it was almost as if there wasn't enough oxygen in my surroundings to allow me to take my fill in any satisfactory way, and this could only be rectified by breathing in the sweet smoke of a deliciously burning cigarette.
5/6/20
“You make it good or bad - hard or easy, its all in your mind”
Mmhmm. That about sums it up.
5/6/20
Well, Shak, you know that saying “fake it til you make it”? There is truth to that. Sound like you’ve each found your individual way of coping and still are able to support each other. Have you seen some posts from others on here who live with a smoker? Wow. I don’t envy that at all. My partner smoked as a teen then wisely stopped. He is tremendously supportive and encouraging, as is my daughter. I never smoked in the house or car so those weren’t triggers for me. I did avoid my back deck for the first couple of weeks. Hell would have to freeze over for me to give up my morning coffee, so I just had it in different spot. With the early light now and warmer mornings I have been back on my back deck with coffee with no problem. I did reach into pocket the first 3 days I started going back out there in the morning even though I hadn’t smoked for over a month! Speaking of programmed. I think that is another think for me to dislike about it actually. I definitely feel I’ve regained some independence with quitting and am not as automatic in functions. Nice.
5/6/20
That sounds familiar. You articulate it clearly. It does sound a tad similar to a mild panic attack and that makes sense too. The addict part of the psyche is pretty manipulative, and not always on a completely conscious level of awareness. “What on earth! How am I supposed to do this without a smoke?!”
The first couple of weeks my cravings were so mental. I actually wrote on here wondering if that was normal. Then after a while, I started o get that physical part you described! It took my breath away. It was rather awful. I found if I stilled myself, and slowed my breath and cleared my mind I could almost see this separate part in there that was akin to a spoiled teenager. My wiser self wasn’t caving or listening so that part had a little tantrum. Now I can separate it pretty easily and actually watch it. I know this sounds a bit like a horror movie (some parts of my life are close!) but it is true. We all have a variety of facets to our psyches and I believe it is possible to get to know many of them as individual pieces which allows the core wise self to have recognition and manage them.
You did well! Sounds like you rode the wave and were able to piece it out after.
I also have read on here from many folks about the emotional side of this. Many have spoken about how they have come to realize their smoking masked their emotions for a long time. That makes sense to me too.
Coming to terms with it as an addiction has allowed me to really see the force of it and I am often humbled by that addictive force. Not in the sense of giving in to the craves, but humbled by the sheer force of the addiction itself. Definitely not to be underestimated.
If that happens again, just take a mental step back and watch it play out while doing some deep breathing. It will pass.
Nice work.
5/6/20
Wow Lori, you articulate it so beautifully and comprehensively. I have learnt sooo much and recognise all that you write about your teenage tantrum... I am keen to read the account you wrote before when your cravings actually happened, and learn more, but it's the middle of the night and I woke for a cigarette...no, I mean water... So I will be kind to myself and sleep and find the post(s) you refer to tomorrow
5/6/20
Wow. I just reread this. It’s true...right up till our deaths it’s grip would be tight. I’ll try to find this Dear John letter that’s here somewhere. It’s a tad corny, but when you read it it will hit home.