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First 10 days review   General Chit-Chat

Started 5/6/20 by Musivore; 46651 views.
euknight

From: euknight

Jul-29

Lore,  

I can’t believe you have Vitex!!!  Maybe a different variety...Is yours like a 20x20 shrub that blooms lavender??  Wow....what a cool ecosystem!!  First time I saw one was in an old cemetery ( (love old cemeteries) Anyway, when I found some I decided to prune into trees.  Huge things and to keep pruned is a job for sure.  I am hoping they will eventually reseed in the wild.  They do produce volunteers that really take hold of the ground.

Yes definitely very far from coastal areas.  No worries there.  Do you have more cats than Calvin?  You mentioned fur babies.....

Yes, spilling gas on myself is a given between the mower, tractor, Mule I am always putting gas in something or torching brush piles!  One set gas, one set diesel. Actually, I may do one tonight since it has been so overcast.  I actually could smell the faint scent of burning somewhere last night and thought it was a good idea.  My friend and her daughter are coming over again.  She had to work on her classroom and needs to sit in the spa with a jet on her back.

Bridgett Jones is a series of movies.  She is a scream.  I feel alot like her at times although may not appear to resemble her on the outside......Those different parts of ourselves...you know.  I’m like you...seeing smoking in movies does not bother me.  Ironic tho....when I smoked it was always an excuse for another.  As far as root reasons I smoked in the beginning has to do with the dark side that basically wants to destroy me however it can.  I am standing up to that shadow today and saying....No More.  Light will suck up this darkness as it always has, as only it can and will. Victory!!!

Need to feed the pups before girls arrive.  Have the best smoke free evening!!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-29

Yes! It has deep purple- blue flowers and looks like a huge shrub if you let it get that way. Supposedly not as invasive as Butterfly Bush is here. It’s lovely stuff. It is a pretty varied ecosystem here in this part of the state for sure. Central part very different with High Desert, lava fields, different critters too. Just the other side of the Cascade Range. That’s where I was on the Rez. My neighbor has a little shack up near Mt Hood that he lends me. Very rustic. No cell service, no indoor plumbing. He does have a small generator there but I don’t use it. It’s off some dirt Forest Service road. Up high and good hikes close. Getting to be time for the Alpine Meadows to peak soon so I love going this time of year. There are lakes to swim in up there too. Cool but not as cold as the ocean. Will be nice. I’m gonna go by myself for Sunday overnight. Takes about an hour and a half to get there. Anyway...got sidetracked thinking about the plants over there....

I am gonna have the best smoke free night yet! Went and got some ice cream, my favorite from Trader Joe’s called Coffee Blast. I don’t think I’ve had any ice cream since quitting! Had Sorbet once but not ice cream and I’m very excited to sit on my deck with my book and a big big bowl of it! Yay!! Soon as it cools off a bit! 
Oh...yes! I have 2 other kitties. I call them “the babies” but they are a little over 2 now. Calvin’s brother died 2 years ago. I had raised them with an eye dropper as their eyes weren’t open when I rescued them. Was pregnant with my daughter. His name was Sweetums. Big ol’ ball of love that spooned with me every single night for 16 years. A few months after he passed I saw a picture of one of the babies on the Humane Society website and left work early to go get him. Got there to find out he had a sister!! Well, I sure wasn’t gonna split them up. So now I have Hugo and Maisy. They are spry and so so funny and loving. Now Hugo spoons with me most every night. He is a big and very fluffy Silver Tabby with isotope eyes, a color I’ve never seen really, and he gets very hot to sleep with. Maisy is very very curious and playful. She is the best female cat I’ve ever had and I love her a lot. I have always preferred males as they are more affectionate but like I said I couldn’t split them up. It turns out she is very different than other females and so so lovey! They have been very kind and sweet with Calvin. Oh Peggy...he is so very frail. Really is just a wisp of the boy he used to be. Has not had an ill spell for about a month now and seems happy. His meow is a little croaky voice. I know one of these days he isn’t going to turn around when he is ill. He and Sweetums were completely inseparable so I will join their ashes when the time comes. I hate the thought, but he is very doted on and loved for sure. 
My daughter wants a big dog. I’m waiting on that as I don’t see me here full time in a few years, so she will have to be in a space and place where she can keep it while I soar around as Pat doesn’t want the full time responsibility...yet anyway. He is pretty tolerant and gentle and loves animals very much, so he may get talked into it, we’ll see...
Ok...have fun with your girls! Is this the one you used to smoke with that didn’t smoke last time? 

euknight

From: euknight

Jul-30

Morning my sweet,

Oh I love Massey and Hugo!!!!  So good to hear about them!!  I know what you mean about female felines but I finally had one that was very loving too!!! So cool it is the same Vitex!  That makes me happy!!

I can’t believe this fairy tale of going to the mountain meadows in peak bloom and a mountain shack???  Oh unbelievably fab!!!  Wow..lava fields.....you mean where lava flowed and took everything out?  Different plants ?  Is it rock or soil?  I have seen a lava garden amendment stuff so it must introduce some needed nutrition to the soil.  So fascinating about different animals over there too.

Actually my friend last night was my heavy smoker friend.  We had a long talk about my quit.  She finally noticed I wasn’t smoking.  Lol.  Of course she has been wanting to quit, cut down, then when Covid hit....started smoking her head off again.  Several lowering of the eyes in shame...man my heart goes out to them when I see that.  I guess it is part of the process.  She wanted to know all about it.  I was honest.  Told her it was hell and she is probably not going to like what it brings up but is all worth it.  Surreal really.  Still doesn’t bother me when she smokes.  Weird, I like the smell.  She first met me when I was quit before for that 4-5 years so has known me as a smoker and non smoker.

It was all good.  Except for Tab digging a hole in the over watered area of the yard!  I really don’t want to see that today!”  It was pitch black out there and we were talking in the pool for hours so she was over there being a busy little bulldozer bee........

Just another day in the neighborhood....Will respond soon to your work post.

Have a fab smoke free day!!!

Peggy

5-8-20

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-31

Hey Lovely Lady!

Just got home, and I have to say reading this is a great end to a very tiring day! Thank you so much! The visual of your sweet ever vigilant Tab digging in an essentially muddy space, yes? What fun for her! And you of course before you let her on the bed! Lol!

Glad to hear your friend noticed. I’m with you...My heart would have gone out to her as well. I felt a great sense of shame smoking, believe me. She is with a very kind and empathetic soul with you as her friend and it must be a great comfort to know she is just accepted and supported regardless and I bet it will inspire her to think of quitting. Especially since you were not acting as some ex smokers do; all self righteous, etc. I seriously doubt that behavior will ever be in your repertoire. How nice for you both to be able to have a heart to heart about it with kindness.

Well, Peggy dear... If that shack with no plumbing or power sounds like a fairy tale to you, rest assured, I will surely feel like a Royal Princess being there in that space! Ahhh...the glorious open space and wild and a hike to alpine meadows filled with a splendor of colors bursting in the sun...yes...in the Kingdom for sure is exactly how I will feel and I fully intend to bask in the glory of the creations with thankfulness and gratitude for the life I am living and the life that surrounds me. And when the darkness comes I will drink in all of  the richness of the heavens and know that if for only a day, I have connected with the greatest of things,  the most powerful and beautiful things that no manly acquired wealth or riches could ever possibly create or supply, and for a few brief hours will bask in the glory of allowing my soul to soar freely and fill itself with the sustenance needed to keep me aware that I am real and alive. Mmmmm. Yes, these are some of the things that make my life full and worth living and I carry them with them me always when I leave and always leave a part of my heart with these spaces in return and humble thanks. 
 

In the meantime until then...I have some work stuff to finish and my rounds for the night to make. Warm with a breeze...ahhh... though it’s not the Mountain yet, it will still be wonderful to be out tonight too. Moon is waxing and will give some nice light to calm the stress of the day. 
More soon...sleep well... 

Just looked at the temp...it is 84 degrees here still! Tent for me tonight, yay!!
 

In reply toRe: msg 217
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-31

Oh Boy.

So I got back kind of late last night to a message from someone that they are on the train, on their way here to PDX...to stay with me...FOR A WEEK!!! Wow. Needless to say, I am all out of sorts. This is the Ex’s Aunt who lives in California. She has had a habit of doing this over the years, just popping up to visit and stay a few days. She has not done it for 4 years but used to do it yearly and it was almost expected. She usually only stay a few nights. The last time she came she called from Roseburg to inform me she was 3 hours away and I was at work. What she didn’t tell me was that she had also brought her cat!!! Now...I love cats...but my cats do not like other cats visiting!! The whole few days in hindsight was a comedy of errors and mostly ended up rather fun. We kind of gave up on her doing this after she took off to Jamaica 4 years ago and ended up staying there like 6 months. She hasn’t traveled since she came back from there and no longer drives long distances.
She is on the train. On her way here. For a week. With me. WTH. 
Good news is she doesn’t smoke anymore for about 3 years. Bad news is...I sure the heck want to right now!!! So...Covid, work, Protests, and now...Unexpected and unplanned company for a WEEK!! Ack!!! 
Ok...I’m breathing and drinking my coffee and processing giving up my Mountain time that I just wrote about last night and was so in dire need of. Ok. Won’t smoke. But...man...this is the first huge trigger I’ve had in a while!!! I love her but...who does this?? Oh boy. Breathe more. 
OMG. Just wondering if I should have put this in the SOS! Haha! I am not going to go buy smokes over it for sure. I’m really not, but it is an SOS in other ways! For my sanity!! Oh boy. This just throws me for a loop. 
Ok. I’m gonna add. This really is a bit of a trigger. Last time I saw her we both smoked. She has been quit some time, but I’m still pretty new at this. More it is just this trigger of throwing my life and day to day living off track I think that is doing it than thinking about smoking with her. But...I am going to hang onto where I’m at. The fact that I can run again and feel so much better. She is not someone who will deal well with me walking off when I want to through out the day for an hour or two at a time, and I am not someone who is gonna deal well with not being able to do that like I have been. She is only 5 years older, and not decrepit, but isn’t going to be able to go like I want and need to for sure. This is gonna be a very long week...likely with a lot of ice cream. And ice water. Oh boy. 

CC to euknightEve1973
Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Jul-31

No! She is going to be a bundle of joy! She will be a huge distraction for you! Take her temperature every morning, and make her take a pee test ( just tell her for Covid testing.......this will entertain you and make you giggle). Then ask her to go on a hike with you, how old is she? Introduce her to the kombucha tea......explain that it will improve her bowel movements.....etc. 

Do any other weird things to entertain yourself so you won’t think of those triggers......should I wish you good luck? 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-31

Oh thank god Eve! Thank you!! I’m so glad you’re here!!! Ack!!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-31

She is like 62 or 63 I think. She is a total character!! She is having some health issues I know. OMG. She is a retired RN. Very kind person who worked Hospice the last 10 years of her career. We get along great but she really just kind of takes over. I’ve NEVER been with her a whole week!! And her and the Ex had a falling out years ago so she will be with me the whole week! Ack! 
Ok...So I have another batch of Kombucha to bottle. She can help me with that. Then what??? 
My daughter is laughing hysterically as she just got up and I told her Georgie will be her this afternoon. She is begging to give up her room upstairs and go to the spare room in the basement! 
I am seriously trying to gather my wits and rearrange a bunch of things in my head. Oh boy. 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jul-31

OMG Eve!! This is a woman who would immediately think peeing in a cup would be for weed. She uses medical marijuana. Last time she was here she left a huge stub of medical grade pot on the table on the patio and it blew off and then she couldn’t find it an hour or so later and come to find out my small dog had eaten it as I I noted she was staggering and lethargic and we ended up at the Emergency Vet and it cost me $700!!! Seriously. 100% true story. The dog weighs 8 pounds and that medical grade stuff is no joke. OMG. I am about to have the week from H-E- Double Toothpicks!!!

ALL I WANTED WAS MY TIME AT THE MOUNTAIN!

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Jul-31

Oh if she is a retired Rn, the pee test may not work on her. Oh boy....do you have any thing she can organize for you? 
 

if and when the time comes, and you need a break, ask daughter to take over and go for your walk! Even if around the block. Be diligent and remember you have already been through SO MUCH, your ex aunt WILL NOT make you smoke!

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