Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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Hey Lovely Lady!
Just got home, and I have to say reading this is a great end to a very tiring day! Thank you so much! The visual of your sweet ever vigilant Tab digging in an essentially muddy space, yes? What fun for her! And you of course before you let her on the bed! Lol!
Glad to hear your friend noticed. I’m with you...My heart would have gone out to her as well. I felt a great sense of shame smoking, believe me. She is with a very kind and empathetic soul with you as her friend and it must be a great comfort to know she is just accepted and supported regardless and I bet it will inspire her to think of quitting. Especially since you were not acting as some ex smokers do; all self righteous, etc. I seriously doubt that behavior will ever be in your repertoire. How nice for you both to be able to have a heart to heart about it with kindness.
Well, Peggy dear... If that shack with no plumbing or power sounds like a fairy tale to you, rest assured, I will surely feel like a Royal Princess being there in that space! Ahhh...the glorious open space and wild and a hike to alpine meadows filled with a splendor of colors bursting in the sun...yes...in the Kingdom for sure is exactly how I will feel and I fully intend to bask in the glory of the creations with thankfulness and gratitude for the life I am living and the life that surrounds me. And when the darkness comes I will drink in all of the richness of the heavens and know that if for only a day, I have connected with the greatest of things, the most powerful and beautiful things that no manly acquired wealth or riches could ever possibly create or supply, and for a few brief hours will bask in the glory of allowing my soul to soar freely and fill itself with the sustenance needed to keep me aware that I am real and alive. Mmmmm. Yes, these are some of the things that make my life full and worth living and I carry them with them me always when I leave and always leave a part of my heart with these spaces in return and humble thanks.
In the meantime until then...I have some work stuff to finish and my rounds for the night to make. Warm with a breeze...ahhh... though it’s not the Mountain yet, it will still be wonderful to be out tonight too. Moon is waxing and will give some nice light to calm the stress of the day.
More soon...sleep well...
Just looked at the temp...it is 84 degrees here still! Tent for me tonight, yay!!
So I got back kind of late last night to a message from someone that they are on the train, on their way here to PDX...to stay with me...FOR A WEEK!!! Wow. Needless to say, I am all out of sorts. This is the Ex’s Aunt who lives in California. She has had a habit of doing this over the years, just popping up to visit and stay a few days. She has not done it for 4 years but used to do it yearly and it was almost expected. She usually only stay a few nights. The last time she came she called from Roseburg to inform me she was 3 hours away and I was at work. What she didn’t tell me was that she had also brought her cat!!! Now...I love cats...but my cats do not like other cats visiting!! The whole few days in hindsight was a comedy of errors and mostly ended up rather fun. We kind of gave up on her doing this after she took off to Jamaica 4 years ago and ended up staying there like 6 months. She hasn’t traveled since she came back from there and no longer drives long distances.
She is on the train. On her way here. For a week. With me. WTH.
Good news is she doesn’t smoke anymore for about 3 years. Bad news is...I sure the heck want to right now!!! So...Covid, work, Protests, and now...Unexpected and unplanned company for a WEEK!! Ack!!!
Ok...I’m breathing and drinking my coffee and processing giving up my Mountain time that I just wrote about last night and was so in dire need of. Ok. Won’t smoke. But...man...this is the first huge trigger I’ve had in a while!!! I love her but...who does this?? Oh boy. Breathe more.
OMG. Just wondering if I should have put this in the SOS! Haha! I am not going to go buy smokes over it for sure. I’m really not, but it is an SOS in other ways! For my sanity!! Oh boy. This just throws me for a loop.
Ok. I’m gonna add. This really is a bit of a trigger. Last time I saw her we both smoked. She has been quit some time, but I’m still pretty new at this. More it is just this trigger of throwing my life and day to day living off track I think that is doing it than thinking about smoking with her. But...I am going to hang onto where I’m at. The fact that I can run again and feel so much better. She is not someone who will deal well with me walking off when I want to through out the day for an hour or two at a time, and I am not someone who is gonna deal well with not being able to do that like I have been. She is only 5 years older, and not decrepit, but isn’t going to be able to go like I want and need to for sure. This is gonna be a very long week...likely with a lot of ice cream. And ice water. Oh boy.
No! She is going to be a bundle of joy! She will be a huge distraction for you! Take her temperature every morning, and make her take a pee test ( just tell her for Covid testing.......this will entertain you and make you giggle). Then ask her to go on a hike with you, how old is she? Introduce her to the kombucha tea......explain that it will improve her bowel movements.....etc.
Do any other weird things to entertain yourself so you won’t think of those triggers......should I wish you good luck?
Oh thank god Eve! Thank you!! I’m so glad you’re here!!! Ack!!
She is like 62 or 63 I think. She is a total character!! She is having some health issues I know. OMG. She is a retired RN. Very kind person who worked Hospice the last 10 years of her career. We get along great but she really just kind of takes over. I’ve NEVER been with her a whole week!! And her and the Ex had a falling out years ago so she will be with me the whole week! Ack!
Ok...So I have another batch of Kombucha to bottle. She can help me with that. Then what???
My daughter is laughing hysterically as she just got up and I told her Georgie will be her this afternoon. She is begging to give up her room upstairs and go to the spare room in the basement!
I am seriously trying to gather my wits and rearrange a bunch of things in my head. Oh boy.
OMG Eve!! This is a woman who would immediately think peeing in a cup would be for weed. She uses medical marijuana. Last time she was here she left a huge stub of medical grade pot on the table on the patio and it blew off and then she couldn’t find it an hour or so later and come to find out my small dog had eaten it as I I noted she was staggering and lethargic and we ended up at the Emergency Vet and it cost me $700!!! Seriously. 100% true story. The dog weighs 8 pounds and that medical grade stuff is no joke. OMG. I am about to have the week from H-E- Double Toothpicks!!!
ALL I WANTED WAS MY TIME AT THE MOUNTAIN!
Oh if she is a retired Rn, the pee test may not work on her. Oh boy....do you have any thing she can organize for you?
if and when the time comes, and you need a break, ask daughter to take over and go for your walk! Even if around the block. Be diligent and remember you have already been through SO MUCH, your ex aunt WILL NOT make you smoke!
No she will not! She knows I quit and was very glad to hear it. It is my sanity I am worried about. I was just beginning to think and feel I had gained some ground with all the other stuff in life. This is actually likely to be another visit of a comedy of errors and fun, it really is, I’m just thrown off by the short notice. Had come back from my walk late and literally had a text from her saying she was on the train! So very much like her really. Pat is now laughing his butt of and saying he is gonna go stay with his Mom! My daughter just said “Have fun Momma!” Now I’m gonna go vacuum which is very therapeutic for me and go buy more ice cream. Oh...and half and half. She takes like half a carton in one cup of coffee!!!
Just stay close if you can Eve...I may need reinforcements!!! Or better yet...what is your address???