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First 10 days review   General Chit-Chat

Started 5/6/20 by Musivore; 43936 views.
xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-25

I agree, I can never be a none smoker. That's just impossible. None smokers cannot understand what it feels like, not just the physical addictive sensation, but the emotional tether that we created with cigarettes. I know a few heavy smokers who quit one day, cold turkey and had zero interest in smoking since then and some find cigarettes disgusting. I am clearly not one of these people. But maybe I will be some day.

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-25

Oh I bet the day will come when you have zero interest. And I think it is wise to remain mindful of where you’ve been too. I’ve seen folks who quit cold turkey many years ago and said they didn’t miss it pick it back up again, me being one of those. Had quit cold turkey before I had my daughter and it lasted nearly 4 years. Quit longer ago before that, Cold turkey also, in my mid 20’s for nearly 3 years. So now...I take that experience and knowledge going forward with what I said being I will always be an addict. Any addict is always vulnerable and I think it wise to just accept that and move forward with some level of guard up the rest of our lives. Yes...there are connections made that will always be there mentally.  Same with alcohol, Meth, heroin, whatever...even ice cream! Lol! Also from a physical standpoint we will always be “Exs” and never “Nons”. The current recommendation for anyone who is 55 years old and has 30 years smoking is to start yearly low dose CT lung cancer screening. Why? Because no matter how we slice it, physical damage is done and there will always remain that which is not reparable and we remain with increased risk for things the rest of our lives. Hard to hear, yes. But it can also be motivating to stay quit and stop continuing to do physical damage. There is some talk of after so many years our lung cancer risk is equal to that of a non smoker, but that is quite different than risk being the same as one who never smoked. Again... perhaps a bit of semantics. But anyone who thinks their body ever heals from our poor choices 100% is kidding themselves, which makes me keep my guard up. 
Edit: I was wrong initially X but put the link below with the recommendation. Have been doing more reading too and within that site there are different recommendations from others if you expand the tab that says “Recommendations of Others”.

In reply toRe: msg 432
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-25

Correction: Low Dose CT screening is different than what I said, sorry about that. Here is a link to the guideline:

https://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/uspstf/recommendation/lung-cancer-screening

Also this is a US preventative service task force guideline and it may be different in other countries.

euknight

From: euknight

Aug-26

Lore,
What a fabulous description.  Definately different than the Texas coast.  Much more WILD.  The caves and barnacles with creatures popping out....whoa....Definately like a syfy flick!!  Love it!! Puffins , whales, sea lions...wow.  Have never seen any of that!!  How cool you get pelicans in PDX!!!  So happy you have access to such a beautiful place.  Ewwwww. Sneaker waves...have never heard that term.

Yes I am better, thank you.  Very strong desire to smoke most the day.  Ick.  But I didn’t.  It is disheartening when I thought those would be gone by now.  Really gets me down at times.  But the swim helped a ton last night and tonight.  We may get some weather from Hurricane Laura.  They have called evacuations in TX and LA but have not issued them in Houston. The surge will be strong and much rain and power outages. Having to go thru all that with COVID is a lot.  So tomorrow and Thursday we shall see.

So sweet to send a shooting star my way!!  I saw a few swimming.  The space station was visible a few nights back.  I cannot seem to master the dolphin kick on the butterfly stroke.  It is really hard.!!  Maybe if I had a mermaid outfit it would help....lol.  Probably not.  So yeah I stick with the breaststroke usually.  Did some pool noodle stuff last 2 nights.  I also have free weights.  I like mixing it up!!

Have a beautiful smoke free night and day!!! Hugs to you and all the warriors!!

Peggy

5-8-20

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-26

Well friend, come visit and we will go to the coast. It is pretty rugged and so so pretty. I’m sorry...my grammar wasn’t correct there. We have Eagles in PDX but not Pelicans that I’ve seen. You can see Whales at the coast though. You don’t get to see a whole one all at once of course. But...in recent past there was a large one that washed up dead on one of the beaches. OR Dept of Fish and Wildlife couldn’t figure out how to get rid of it. Was way too big to haul off. So...they stuck some dynamite in it and...Yup. Google that. It does kind of make sense though. Gross. People complain about Sea Lions up near Astoria. They eat Salmon is why. Hmmmm. 
Oh...it does sound like a dreadful combination of the expected storms right now with COVID. Those poor people. Are they evacuating? And how do you put up shelters with COVID right? Very worrisome. Wow. 
I had a thinking about smoking day too! Moon phase??? Lol, of course not.For me it was Stepson leaving. And just...stuff. It was better this evening though.

So what do you do with the noodles? It sounds fun. And weights in the pool? Or is that out? And what was the smell the other night? I’m very aware of smells. Hence the essential oils. Love that you mixed your own! Daughter does that and makes some lovely combinations. She always smells so good. And they help a ton with not smoking for me. It really helps to just smell my wrist. Sounds weird and probably looks more weird but hey...whatever helps. I read somewhere once that about our sense of smell being so primitive but having the strongest and deepest connection to memory. I’m like you that I love the smell of  campfire. Not cigars so much but I love the smell of a pipe. Maybe linked to my Dad. I have his favourite pipe that he used the most and the bowl still smells of his tobacco. I leave it on a shelf in my living room. 

Typing this on my phone as forgot to charge iPad and it does help having new phone but like iPad better for long stuff!

Gonna try to sleep now. Miss Maisy is not wanting me too but she will settle down Huggy and Calvin are already out. Boys. Dog out too though. She was bummed to not go to the beach as she loves it. I love watching all the dogs there. They look SO happy! 
More later my friend. Glad you liked the star! It was a good one.

Big hugs!!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-26

I just watched videos of them blowing up that whale. So gross. It was ODOT though and not Fish and Wildlife...sorry I blamed them. Guess it stunk pretty bad and a huge piece flying smashed a car some ways away. They have a newer video with the original reporter on the phone talking about it. Hilarious. Now I want to know how often does a dead whale actually wash ashore? The things one reads about with morning coffee! 
Daughter and I saw a Sea Lion that had washed up on the beach when she was about 5. The look of horrified fascination on that child’s face. I have pictures of that. The smell was absolutely horrendous. Smells pretty bad to get pooped on by a Seagull by the way. That happened to her last summer when we were in Victoria with Pat’s mom. Took us a bit to figure out what the smell was and why it was following us. OMG. You could still smell it after her shower. She has PTSD now about birds pooping from above and is always looking up and warning me when we walk if there is a bird on wire. Must be what Seagulls eat as that was very bad. 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-26

Ok. So seems my mind didn’t wander to quite this many strange places when I smoked...? Not that I’m gonna start again, but it seems I recall having more “blankness “ in the morning. Which isn’t necessarily good. So I just read about why a dead whale would wash ashore. Which led me to articles about these poor whales that have lost their fluke and this scientist that follows them and documents their tailless lives. Think I better go back to bed and wake up and go see John. Just heard about another Agave bloom in SW PDX from my Nursery friend. So funny as the last one is only about half a mile from his house and he hadn’t seen it yet when I emailed him the pictures.  He isn’t sure where exactly the new one is, just the general area. Think I’ll plan a nice long walk after a nap and make it a quest. Take some snacks and all that. Gotta get my mind off of dead and maimed whales as it is getting depressing. These long stretches of days off are both a blessing and a curse for me.... Maybe new Agave photo coming with a little luck. If not maybe at least the most recent one has full blooms now. 

xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-26

Very well said. I am not of that age or total amount of years smoking but your'e right, we can't be in denial. Still it is good to quit at any time. It sucks that we always have to keep our guards up but there it is. I will go to the link and read it. How are you doing? 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-26

Hey there...

Im doing pretty good. I just walked for over 3 hours and didn’t find the Agave I was told about. So...perhaps the quest will continue tomorrow. Right now I think I need a nap and some Kombucha but in the other order. I’ve found if I have something with a bit of caffeine and then lay down right away for about 30 minutes the caffeine kicks in and I wake up feeling really good! Yes...another addictive drug. One I never ever intend to give up either. It’s good for you in proper amounts. 
So yeah, read the link to the guideline and don’t quote me as I last night blamed the wrong people for blowing up a whale so maybe I’m not to be trusted with quoting things right now. That ability should return but it appears to be on hiatus. Also confirmed as according to daughter who seems to recall I told her to get “whatever she wants” with my card she took to the store to get essential oils and spent like $60. So yeah. Brain fog? 
Yes...addiction. I’ve always thought it funny how a large amount of people will talk with disdain of the heroin user while they themselves are standing there with a cigarette dangling between their fingers. Hmmm. I do believe it is a physiological brain process that is susceptible to a plethora of substances, legal or not. And of course we have attached many emotions to it! For a long time. So...the rewiring process is not undone quickly, and likely not wholly. Or Holy. Ha! I will say...some of my language I’ve used in this quit process proves the not Holy part for sure. Some of my fleeting thoughts involving strangulation are also a testament to that....nobody I know personally so I doubt I will be in prison requesting cigarettes on Sundays. Actually...I can’t really imagine I’d ever physically harm anyone. Over quitting smoking. 
So daughter got me this Black Peppercorn oil that is supposed to help with not wanting to smoke. I think you mix it with other stuff. I will leave my little Apothecarist to the lab with it and let you know how it works! She also got me a tiny bottle of some locally produced Redwood Oil which is just to die for. So later I’ll take my walk smelling like a tree. Makes me think of Maleficent’s guard from the movie. The huge strong tree dude. Loved him. Fittingly called Balthazar. Was wanting to call daughter that if she had turned out to be a boy, but her dad said no. He never was much fun or very imaginative. 
Also...the best thing may be that daughter also picked me up a bottle of the Kombucha that Peggy loves that is Tart Cherry! 
So...there you go. I’m good. Didn’t smoke today so a good day so far. How are you???

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-27

Hey Lovely Lady...

Just read about Laura on her way in and is Category 4 over the Gulf. Article said it may even reach Category 5 by the time it hits land. Whoa. I’m very happy you are where you are. Even a 4 or a 3 is going to be so bad with Covid mixed in. Katrina hit as a 3 and was devastating. 
The article spoke about all the shipping channels coming inland and how it has turned the water brackish over the years, thus killing all the trees that would have offered some protection and causing a lot of erosion. It was pretty involved in the science of it and this is over simplification and of course is just one of many factors involved...
My heart and prayers go out tonight to the folks in Texas and Louisiana. There gonna need a lot of that and a lot of intervention from the Government after this. 
Stay safe Peggy and I hope all your family and friends are as well. pray

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