Yes, we do worry ...

You are in my thoughts and heart.....

Hi Susan...

So tell us!! Does it feel different with over a year now? Man. Can’t wait to be there. Well, only way to is through it right?

I had a pretty strong little knee jerk urge today at worK,  of all places, as I never smoked there. Would stop a few blocks away and smoke after, but never during the work day. It was a total knee jerk response to something that made me kind of mad, which doesn’t really happen often either. But it was such a clear thought when I hung up the phone with this person of “I want to go have a smoke!” Actually had a bit of tsunami! Ugh. I know it’s normal and we all go through it. I think I should go read that 8th month thread that is here somewhere. Didn’t you have a bit of this in this time frame too Susan? Well, I just told my colleagues I needed to take 10, which is also some we don’t do or have really is breaks. But I put in my AirPods, put on my eye shades, and didn’t have a cork! (Sorry...old Tommy by The Who reference there)  But I buttoned my lip and walked around the block. It’s a crappy neighborhood and our Security doesn’t like us to do that, but I would have felt sorry for anyone to mess with my 5 foot hiney in that moment for sure! Plus I figured I could outrun most of the addicts hanging around, lol! That’s not nice, and I’m sorry. They never bother me or any of us really except to ask for money or a smoke, of which I had neither. So...in the end, it all worked out and I actually was gone about 15 minutes and felt so much better and finished the day with lots of laughs. In the moment though...ugh. So, the moral of the story for me still is...keep the forum close (I wrote a brief rant to Jaka in another thread as he had mentioned feeling angry and it felt good to validate that for him and get it my anger off my chest) , keep music handy, be ready to walk briskly for a few minutes, and continue with the world’s best chocolate milk! 

Susan...I’m dying to know what it feels like now!!

Eve...I bobbed and weaved good today!

Tiny...you are not the only one that still finds yourself on the ledge and are never alone!

Peggy...we miss you and hope you’re ok!!

Oh now that's disgusting! He's shiny and blue, but he looks like a bloodsucker!

Well darn it. I don’ think he’d look so funny if I rotated the picture. I seem to have difficulty posting pics from my phone. Anyway...he was really beautiful Tiny! Striking Cobalt iridescent blue wings with the black. I’m not sure what he was but I have a PNW Insect book and I’m gonna look him up. When I find out I will tell you! I do know he was not a blood sucker! Those, as we know, are ORANGE. Let me see if I can repost his picture again and rotate him the way I saw him. Poor thing...
There! I’ll go back and delete the other one as I am not so Blue anymore either. Calvin will be ok again for a while. Day to day it seems with an 18 year old Kitty!

I have never seen a bloodsucker so I have no idea what color they are. Im glad your kitty is ok, I know how we all worry about our family members. I hate it when s puppy isn't at his best. I was doing my phone therapy today and cooper wouldn't stop squeaking his football and I couldn't catch him to take it away. That little miscreant! His brother just stared at me, like, good lord help me. How's the kombucha going?

Miscreant! I love that word! I call mine incorrigible. My shrink was cracking up last week as all of my kitties kept walking in front of the screen! I had to pause and go feed them. 
I will bottle my Jun tomorrow! Always an exciting thing for me. Ha. Simple pleasures for simple minds I reckon.

Well...we just had our first team member come up Covid positive. I guess overall that’s not bad since we’ve been working in it since day 1. Still...the rest of us are all just waiting for our number to come up. Sucks. Moral of the story? Continue not to smoke, wear a mask, wash hands a lot, do not touch your face. That’s the hard for me because of my darn glasses! Well. I’m gonna go take some vitamin D and walk. Try and get some of this stress out and not have Covid dreams tonight. Ugh. 
 

I hate the glasses thing too! I push them up from time to time without thinking. Not good. I'm sorry about your coeoy, and hope she'll be a ok. On the bright side, she's got you monitoring the situation! Makes you want to wash a lot, doesn't it? The quitting smoking helps too. Here at the hospital there are lots of covid positives, at least for a small town. They've activated a new area, for those that are too sick for the medical floor but don't need the ICU. That's so we can keep icu beds available because we only have 8. They are planning for the next wave...

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Thanks my friends for your well wishes, notes....Lore, Eve, Tiny, Susan...meant a lot.  Am actually starting to feel better today and have missed y’all.

Thanks for the following, Lore, because it is so very real to me....more than ever after last week.  Has made even the smoking small and trivial to me........

“The preciousness of life cannot be quantified in written words. It can only be felt deeply in our hearts and souls. Perhaps we are only as deeply aware of it in moments of loss of a loved one“

So I am so very sorry Calvin had an episode.  Could not find the deets yet but I see he made it thru for now....yay Calvin!!!  The sweetest crackling kitty ever. Got my cat fix at the neighbor’s this weekend while they were gone.  So quiet and soft.........long needed cat fix. 
 

 Was also sorry to hear about your co-workers test, Lore.  How is her case?  You know it is pretty tremendous she is the first after all these months.  Tells me you guys are doing a lot of things right.  So please REST in this knowledge sweet Lore and everyone else.  It helps my confidence, I know.  I got a test myself on Monday and am NEGATIVE.  Weird symptoms 2 days after the funeral and with everybody hugging, and tears flying, most with masks, some without.......well I just had not been to anything like that yet.  Actually that made me more confident that the precautions I take are sufficient.  Test easy now...drive thru, self administered and put in a vial.  No line, simple and result in 2 days.  I went to my CVS if anyone needed to know, thought I would share.

Thanks for agreeing with me about seeing Carys German Shepherd, Kiowa.  I will venture out that way, eventually.  Girls, I totally believe that dog’s crazy behavior was connected to the fact he could smell/sense the dying liver.......while he was never trained for that specifically.....I know he knew and felt powerless to do anything about it. Anyway...more later my precious ones.  Good to be back and thanks again

Hugs

Peggy

5-8-20