Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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Lol, see fun to think about it! Only thing I would suggest, don’t give daughter access to the money all at once, say she can have a certain amount after college is completed, a certain amount after masters degree (if that’s the plan) , and certain amount at 30 years of age. Of course school will be paid for and living expenses. But after 30, remainder of money be given at 40. She would be mature enough to handle. Just my thoughts, I know that kids seem more mature now, when I was younger. And my friends parents called me “the mature, head on straight kid.” Haha if they only knew.....
My thoughts on my other thread about letting another human treat me like that, was an epiphany. I was like wow so TRUE! This addiction is SO Evil! I know you are a VERY nice person, but one thing my sister pointed out, was since I quit smoking, I am a nicer person. I actually agreed with her, maybe I’m just letting go of “old” stuff as I get older, but I actually noticed this before she said anything. Have you noticed any difference in attitude?
Well I think you are back at work, when do you get your 2nd shot? Or did you get the other vaccine? I have today and tomorrow, then I’m back.....ugh. Kids going to start moving back on January 10th. Just curious of how many. No one will answer that. Then apparently we are supposed to be tested weekly. Not sure how that going to work.
Well off to do more work on my lil bedroom. Will send pics when mostly finished. The rugs being replaced will be last. Plus I have a lot of stuff in my head to decorate this room. Hoping to be done by end of month! GOAL SET! Lol
It is very fun to think about! I will admit, those fantasies have gotten shorter as I get older. Maybe is the reality sinking in of it isn’t likely to happen. But...as they say..”somebody has to win and it may as well be me!” Well...they also say, “you gotta play to win.” So I will get a ticket. Maybe today.
Yes, I’m back at work. Went last Wednesday and worked 4 out of the last 5 days. That wasn’t a good idea. By the end of shift yesterday my hand and wrist were swollen and red and very sore. Had to come home and ice. Elbow seemed good and that incision seems fine, but the wrist/ hand one not so good today. Off till Wednesday so will take it easy. Use the mouse a ton at work so I think that’s it, plus I’m right handed so everything else was that too. I get the 2nd shot around the 26th I think. Both Pfizer and Moderna are two shots. Moderna is a week longer between. A doc I work with is on a ventilator Eve. He is younger than me by 5 years. Is a little overweight but not a lot. Never was a smoker, no diabetes or high blood pressure. He has been on a vent a week now. This is one of the things that sealed my decision about the vaccine. Tons of people have been on a ventilator from Covid, but none from the vaccine. It was that thought right there. Our hospital is the “official” Covid hospital in town, though all hospitals have COVID patients. I still see all the other stuff like sprains , broken bones, lacerations, abdominal pain, STDs, etc, but 3/4 of the people I see every day have COVID symptoms. I’m kind of thinking it is a miracle I’ve not had it yet really. Our staff that has now outweighs those who haven’t. People are also not as nice as in the beginning. They used to say “thanks for being here”, now I rarely hear that. Just hear complaints how long they had to wait, etc. They don’t understand we have people out sick too. I haven’t worked full staff in months. Yeah, I’m gonna buy a ticket and when I win that big one, I’m gonna quit on the spot. No notice, just be done. I am done, I just don’t have a choice right now! Of course I say that, but I’d likely give two weeks notice. Is in our contracts to give 3 months, but I would not do that. You know what? This is the craziest thing ever , but there are moments when I feel it is also a miracle to not smoke! It is how I thought I handled the stress for years! But, there is proof we can handle a tremendous amount of stress and not smoke too. So I keep going, but every single day on the way home when I pass that one store....I think about it. Just one I say. And I keep driving. One day at a time. There is no reason in my mind after what I’ve seen every day that I should even think about it! None. Nada. Zip. Not one reason. But I still do. So, your epiphany, the one you wrote...man, that was powerful!!! It gave me a different way to look at it completely. No. I would not ever let any human have this control over me! Not man, woman, child. But this little pack of dried leaves rolled into little pieces of paper...has brought me to tears at times more than any man I’ve ever been with! What??! How is that?! Seriously? Me? On the surface I am one of the strongest people I know and I say that without reservation. Of course this isn’t true under the surface maybe. But I’ve stood up to some pretty formidable things, all 5 feet of me, and not run. Why on Earth do we let this one little piece of ourselves do this to us? Wow. Yeah. Your epiphany was very powerful.
As far as being nicer? After the first month or two, yeah. I’m more patient actually. Let me think about this question as it is a good one. Maybe I’ll put it out there like Nika did and see what other folks say. It’s a very interesting thing to ponder and might bring us some inspiration.
So it is a spare room you are redoing? Yes! Pics! You are getting good at that and your tree came through upright! So I want to see! Bummer you have to go back to work already! I know the feeling. Students back in the Dorms? In their own rooms? Are they teaching in person classes? I mean why bother paying for a Dorm room just to be on a computer?
Well...here is my advice... Practice Safe Six!!! (6 feet apart Eve. Where did your mind go?) hahaha!
Haha Practice safe six.....I will! Probably ask person to go in their room and shut door, or leave depending on room size. I’m thinking that when they do more studies of this virus, they are going to find a gene or something that either prevented people from being high risk or something that prevented them from getting it. I think a lot will be learned about this virus as time goes by. Listen I support your decision for vaccine, I don’t want you to think I don’t, I believe everyone has the right to choose, just like in abortions. Your choice, but I’m not going to push you in either direction, I can only say my point of view. Am I going to try and sway you......NO, you know what is best for you. Just like in quitting smoking, not everyone has the same experiences nor difficulties. Everyone is different therefore you know what is BEST FOR YOU!
Thanx that epiphany just came to me and I really empathize with the crying and the thoughts. But I’m not going to let that stupid lil white stick CONTROL ME any longer. It’s tough but we actually treated ourselves like Crap, and time for us to say NO MORE......NOT ONE PUFF EVER!
The pic has to be taken with my iPad, not my phone. Not sure why. Got a third of the ceiling done today, probably will need more because decided to do a different way once got it home. But that’s ok. Really happy how turning out.
Sorry about the hand. That really sux, but I’m especially mad that people are being rude.....seriously! I honestly expect everything to be backed up, out of stock or takes forever. No biggie (think patience has improved also) it is what it is. I can’t control or make it go faster.
Im sorry about your Doctor, Hope get better soon.
Yes you need to play lol......come on money!
That tree is the bomb!!, Too cool you won a prize too and not shabby!! Woohoo.....go girl!,
What? Key West has those trees? What about a trip to Key West?
No key west has a parade with body paint. I think around Halloween. Thanks Peggy, yes was extremely happy I won!
I’ve been thinking the same thing. More will come out about COVID19 as we go for sure. What I am wondering is exactly what you said...are there some who have some sort of natural resistance? Are there some (many, sadly) who have a genetic make up that predisposed them to severe illness? Back in May they started a huge antibody study where I work. Had 10,000+ people enrolled and we had blood drawn every 2 weeks. It was supposed to run for 8 weeks, or 4 draws total. What they were looking for is are those of us working in this for hours and hours a day getting small amounts and building antibodies as we go? They stopped it after 4 weeks because there wasn’t enough positive already to support the thinking. I have had hundreds of positive folks at this point. Some of them I’m in the room with them for half an hour with regular surgical mask, not even N95. I’m as careful as I can be for sure, but, when you’re seeing 40 people a day, you get tired. You touch your face to move glasses because they are fogged, etc. I don’t know. At this point, I’m chalking it up to a Guardian Angel maybe. But yes, there has to be something...Also, I know you support my vaccine choice Eve. I never questioned that or felt otherwise. Just as I support yours! Thank you for that. My month off gave me lots of reading time. And lots of just thinking time. When I got the text about the doc I work with it sealed it for me. He got put on the vent the day I went. He is a really good guy. Has 2 young kids. I just had that thought like I said, in all the studies and shots given so far, nobody has gone on a vent. I’ve had so many now that have and some that didn’t go home. I’m tired. We all are. I went in the back room yesterday and one of our RNs was sitting on the floor hugging her knees crying and said she just couldn’t keep doing this. It was so sad. And yes, it does suck that people aren’t that nice anymore. I try to step back and know they are tired too. But when you got some woman who insists she needs her results tomorrow because she was at a Christmas party without masks and her mom was there just having returned from Mexico and was “just coughing a little” and now has COVID and exposed 18 people that were there, and now this woman just has to have her results because she is now going to Mexico for vacation...well...and very angrily asking me what’s wrong with our lab that it takes 24-36 hours and I’m explaining that a rapid test for her won’t be accurate and she asks me if I’m stupid and didn’t hear her that her plane leaves tomorrow. Yup. That happened. One of many. Not the same, but similar. But also...not all. The one or two that say thanks now bring tears to our eyes really. Anyway...being off for a bit...made going back very hard. Now we got a variant of the virus that spreads more easily and all we keep thinking is “will I stay well to get that second shot?” because that shot, it is our hope. It is our light in the tunnel. I won’t say at the end because I don’t think we are near the end. Anyway...I’m sorry for rambling. Like I said, being away for a bit kind of changed me. Or my views, or something. This time last year I was sitting on my deck smoking cigarettes and thinking about other things. I don’t want to smoke but I want to think about other things. I want to walk for 3 hours like I do when it’s warmer. Like all of us, I want to wake up tomorrow and have Covid be gone. It won’t be. But...I will wake up tomorrow and know I have my Tribe and Comrades here! I know I’ll write a bunch of natter and process instead of smoke and I will smile about my Girlz all East who’s eyes are glazing over whilst reading. You all have made my world so much more bearable in so so many ways. This is the first Winter I’ve not gone in my Cave completely in many years. So keep on keeping on. We are fighting the good fight together and we are so far winning! Yay! I also know that one of these days, that old John will be gone and I’ll have to find another spike or spire or something to keep me going, and I will. And when I do, I’ll share it with you ! But not yet. Tonight is dry and I’m going to dance with John.
Just wanted to send you a HUGE HUG for all you are doing and facing during this horrible Covid Pandemic. I am a retired nurse and I went back to work during this pandemic at the hospital as a Covid screener. You are so right about nasty vicious impatient self centered people. I'm getting it right in my face on a daily basis and life right now does suck but there is no reason people need to be cruel.
Hang in there and be careful! Also, be very proud to be a successful quitter. Hugs!
"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013
I want to take time to time to Thank Both Of You! Thank goodness I have not had the need to get tested. But honestly I see it every where. Was talking to the Home Depot guy last night and he was on a rampage about how rude people are.....think he just needed to “vent.”
Seroiusly though you are putting your health and families health every day that you go to work. You are the TRUE heroes! I do hope one day, somehow you are rewarded! HUGS TO YOU BOTH AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF HEART, the next rude person, just smile and say I’m doing the best I can......do you want to do my job?
Oh, Debbie...first, thank you for what you are doing too. You came out of retirement for this? Wow. Second, thank you so much for the validation. Oh my gosh. Our poor screeners! Yes, they are the first to get it. We only have one that is still there since Summer. It is a revolving door for them. People are probably the worst with them. It is so sad to see these folks berated and abused verbally. For doing their job. I just don’t get it. These aren’t mostly kids or teens behaving this way toward people either. It is folks in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Also, my very first thought when I see or experience this behavior is, “you are not sick enough to be here!” I get very few folks who really are ill that behave poorly. Then I get it, they have a 102 fever and don’t feel good. Not an excuse, but, way more forgiveable than the entitled, demanding, self centered type of woman I spoke of who had a plane to catch. Oh, I could go on and on as I’m sure you could too.
Where I’m having the hardest time is with myself! I was off for a month and I’m trying to figure out did something change? Was I just rolling with it before and went day to day with some sort of blind eye or immunity to it, did I just not see it? Did being off make me soft and more vulnerable? Are people just worn out and tired? Is it post holiday blues or stress? Is it the weather? What the heck happened? I mean there was some of this back in November, for sure, but now it is rampant. My colleagues all tell me it was my time off and being away and not around it and that I will “get used to it again”. That I will “get back in the swing of dealing with it”. And I’m not 100% sure I can. I don’t really have a choice though. Except maybe if I win that lottery Eve and I were talking about! But I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want this to be acceptable for us as a society or a culture. I’m certainly not going to smoke over it for sure, but did that make me cope better in some way before? Was I just ignoring it while one level of my brain was distracted wanting a cigarette and therefore I wasn’t paying attention as much? That’s completely rhetorical and silly, I know. Early in the pandemic it wasn’t like this though. Are people just getting back to normal? I do not care at all if they don’t make small talk, or say thank you, or even smile (though that is always welcome) all I want is...just don’t be nasty and mean! We all have families we go home to as well. This stuff scares us too. We get sick too. Basically we are just humans trying to make sense of the world and all the rapid changes and guidelines and work flow and just all of it just like everybody else.
I don’t know. Eve asked if not smoking made me more nice. It’s just one of the angles I’m thinking about, whether I am more sensitive without the veil of escape waiting at the end of a shift. I’m sure all of this is complex, and this time last year I happily left work and slipped into my cloud of smoke, off by myself, processing things. But that was over 10 months ago and I’m not going back into the addictive cloud of illusion. Even if it did make me more numb or oblivious and a smidge of that would be nice right now. I’ll figure out the connections eventually. I suspect, sadly, that all of this isn’t me though and there is a good degree I will get used to again. I do know that stopping at that store on the way home won’t have some miraculous effect on anything or make anything different or better. It would be so self destructive emotionally and mentally at this point. I do wonder though if I was tougher somehow when I smoked. So I will keep processing that and continue to build an internal connection of empowerment by not smoking. Seems weird to relate it the world maybe, but I do think it made me more numb and less aware somehow....something is different.
Thanks again. Always nice to hear from you. They are very lucky to have you come back and help out at the hospital, and we are lucky for that here too!
Yes I know it’s been an extremely tough year for you. You not only are dealing with the pandemic, you had fires, riots, protests and oh yeah the AUNT! You only had a blip and were right back on track and doing fantastic! Think of everything you have dealt with and didn’t smoke. You are my HERO, if you can deal with that you can DO ANYTHING.
You always try to lift people up and be very positive along with a distraction. Funny how writing a letter to someone has gone to the waist side, but in a way this is writing a letter, just much quicker. Lol
Oh glad you knew I was supporting your decision in the vaccine. Figured you would, but in case someone else read, didn’t want any backlash. One thing about our letters, many people read. Lol
So quick thought, found a bunch of letters from late 30s and early 40s. Some from Germany (my dad had family there) . Anyway his dad lived in Philly and his brother in NY. So when a letter came from Germany they would send it to NY and his brother would resend to Philly so they didn’t have to write 2 letters and save on postage.
I need to get off my butt and do more ceiling! Talk later!